Saturday, November 2, 2019

Subterano, Virtual Reality Carnage

Virtual Reality. No one plays board games anymore. That's too bad. What happens when Virtual Reality becomes more real than virtual. Right! Decapitations, severed limbs, charred humans, and overall gore and mayhem. Hence 2003's "Subterano," directed by Esben Storm. This one is from Australia and has a great looking cast which will impress both guys and gals.
 Okay, let us be short on a very important backstory. Hunk Conrad (Alex Dimitriades) and babe Grace (Tasma Walton) are the only two survivors of the government sanctioned stadium massacre. They fall in love, and then become rebels and join The Orphans of the Revolution. Here's where it gets ambiguous...Conrad is captured and is sent for execution. He finds out Grace turned on him and is now a traitor to the revolution. Conrad is accused of murdering dozens and he escapes. He bumps into Grace and now there is much tension for the ex-lovers. The Kate Beckinsale look-a-like Grace isn't into explaining and now the two end up in a parking garage.
Uh oh, a virtual reality game is being tested by an unknown fiend. The VR robots are real and they seek to kill all humans. A cop-wannabe JD (Alison Whyte) is also trapped, and she won't be much of a help. Now four teens, used to the standard VR games are also trapped. The robots act fast and immediately kill a couple of the gamers sending the rest into the lower levels. Each level, the game gets tougher (more deadly). Limbs will fly, humans will be cooked, and eyes will be shot out. As the humans dwindle in number we find out some fascinating details about Grace's betrayal of Conrad. Now an idealistic teen, Angie (Kate Sherman), inspires the survivors to fight back. Angie will act as the catalyst for our aforementioned hunk and babe to maybe get back together. They do a fine job and whoever is controlling the homicidal robots begins to take this contest personally.
Did Grace really betray Conrad, and why won't she offer him an explanation? Will babe Angie or babe Grace be the victim of the "There Can Only Be One Babe Left Maxim," as is so prevalent in these gore-fests?  Will Grace be able to seduce the VR fiend that is hunting all the humans? Actually, she will try and she will, at least, seduce us guys. For some terrific action, gore, beefcake and cheesecake, enjoy "Subterano."


  1. Not having a bikini moment or even a cat fight at Bondi Beach lets the movie down!!!