Thursday, November 14, 2019

Alien Predator, Skylab, Figure Skating, and Toothy Aliens

We've all had the argument before.  You want to watch a bloody horror movie and your spouse wants to watch figure skating.  Yep, last time the horror film won out and fairness dictates that figure skating will grace the TV this evening. Poppycock! Fairness is for losers! I think I got that from a John Maxwell book. Here is the compromise. 1985's "Alien Predator" is a bloody alien invasion flick starring professional figure skater (Bond girl and the star of "Ice Castles") and skater for The Ice Capades, Lynn-Holly Johnson.
Skylab crashes into Spain (in reality it crashed into Australia). A mad-scientist's experiments get loose. Five years later two nerds, Damon (Dennis Christopher) and Michael (Martin Hewitts) are taking an RV through Spain with Sam (Johnson). Meanwhile Dr. Tracer (Luis Prendes) is sent by NASA as his experiments have taken over animals and people with deadly results. NASA's secret lab has been overrun by the alien experiment. Meanwhile, our two nerds seek pre-marital sex with Sam, but Sam merely wants a good time. As every person and animal is taken over by this alien the results are bloody.  The alien incubates in the life-form and after two days explodes out of their face,
As the alien goes through Spaniards like crap through a goose, Dr. Tracer teams up with our three tourists.  As possessed people now try to kill these three, our team must re-enter the NASA lab, fend off angry aliens, capture a canister which could contain the cure, and resume the competition of who gets to have pre-marital sex with the sultry skater.
Will Sam reject her two nerd friends in favor of a tall, dark Spaniard?  Are there any Spaniards left? Will Ms. Johnson have an opportunity for a figure-skating solo in the midst of an alien invasion? The alien is toothy and vicious and the possessed Spaniards are menacing.  Mr. Prendes does well as the mad-scientist, as well.  For another example of how NASA has strayed from it's mission of capturing our imagination with space breakthroughs, see "Alien Predator."


  1. Ahhh, the race to find the canister then they can live happily ever after, but without the premarital sex. NASA needs to work harder,Elon Musk is shadowing them with 1950's technology.

  2. "like crap through a goose" bravo! And where the hell did you find this lol

  3. Nice article as well as whole site.Thanks.