Monday, November 18, 2019

Shark Exorcist, Satanic Shark Eats Bikini Babes

Gratuitous shots of babes in bikinis sunbathing and frolicking in the surf that would make a peeping Tom drool might be the staple of 2015's "Shark Exorcist." Hey...that's okay! Hot tubs, beaches, lakes, amusement parks...it doesn't matter where the setting is, this movie is going to give us bikini babes in gratuitous and elongated bikini shots. Bikini babes with lesbian tendencies in the surf, in the pool, and some nice gratuitous cat-fighting...all with a possession motif. Can you believe IMDB gave this cinematic achievement only 1.4 stars out of 10...prudes!!!
Plot...okay fine, if you must have one...Sister Blair (Christy Moritz) has kidnapped, tortured, and murdered 13 children as our story begins...she is wanted. She guts a babe who recognizes her and as she throws her corpse into the lake she asks Satan to send her an avenger. Enter a great white shark with glowing yellow eyes. The shark will eat the good Sister's victims. Enter three sultry bikini babes, Lauren (Madison Carney), Ali (Angela Kerecz), and Emily (Channing Dodson). They go to the lake to do gratuitous things in their string bikini and Ali gets bitten by the Satanic shark.
Now Ali is having weird dreams and desiring to be around water. Ali tries to seduce a couple of bikini babes but ends up murdering them. A few sultry sorority sisters enter the plot and give us some nice bikini action until the shark comes a-calling. Meanwhile, Ali puts her sights on her former buddy Lauren, who has stolen her boyfriend. As Ali rips the boyfriend's throat out, Father Michael (Bobby Kerecz) captures her and does the lamest exorcism you have ever seen...it won't work of course. Now the nubile Emily and Lauren are in mortal danger as more sultry bikini babes doing gratuitous stuff get gutted...and Sister Blair is still on the loose.
Will any bikini babe survive either the shark, Ali, or Sister Blair? What will be the fate of the really stupid Father Michael after his exorcism fails? When the bikini babes are all eaten, will the shark go after cheerleaders or stewardesses? This is a gritty, serious horror story that could happen in each of our communities. If you are a fan of gratuitous and elongated shots of women doing gratuitous things in bikinis...well, this is your film. Ignore the  IMDB elites and catch "Shark Exorcism" (Directed by Donald Farmer).

3 comments:

  1. An all round good review, with premium ingredients!! A feast for a horny shark!

    ReplyDelete

  2. Thanks for sharing this blog. I loved reading this post.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You can't go wrong with bikini babes,a satanic shark and ketchup,can you??? Judging by the now 1.3 rating,you can indeed. Good review,Max.

    ReplyDelete