Wounded, Madchen Amick Revenge Fest

It is about time we do another Madchen Amick film. We have not done one since...well...you know. The lovely waitress in "Twin Peaks," Madchen Amick was always that character we wanted to see more of.  She also portrayed the type of waitress we all fantasized about getting when strolling into a diner. Ah, Madchen Amick.  Say the name three times and it will surely bring a smile to your face.  Madchen Amick!  Madchen Amick!  Madchen Amick! Yes, bring me a slice of apple pie, Madchen Amick. You "Twin Peaks" fans understand this semi-insane outburst. Let us look at the 1997 thriller, "Wounded," directed by Richard Martin. Did I mention that Madchen Amick is in this one?

The lovely game warden, Julie (Amick...Madchen Amick), and her lover Don (Richard Joseph Paul), also a game warden, find dozens of murdered bears in the British Columbia wilderness. Poacher Hanaghan (Adrian Pasdar) murders the creatures and sells their parts to foreign buyers. The FBI and other agencies find out about this and send agents to help Julie and Don track this poacher. The poacher, Hanaghan, wins. He uses booby traps, daggers, and hunting rifles to murder his pursuers. He thinks he has murdered Julie, but a medical miracle allows the babe game warden to survive.  Sadly, her lover, Don, is murdered in front of her. Now, after coming out of a coma, and much rehab, Julie emerges suicidal.

Enter Nick Rollins (Graham Greene), an alcoholic burnt out cop. He saves Julie from committing suicide and she moves in with him. Uh oh...Hanaghan does not like loose ends...and Julie is a loose end. He comes into Vancouver and begins hunting her. Still peeved that this creep murdered her lover, Julie arms up and goes full psycho and hunts him, too.  Nick tries to deter Julie as he thinks she has no chance against this psycho poacher. Julie heads into the wilderness to begin her hunt...the bait?  Her.  Hanaghan follows and carnage will ensue.

Will the sweet Madchen Amick be able to convincingly portray a psycho hunter?  Will Julie have a prayer in the wilderness against the psycho poacher?  Would it have been too much to ask David Lynch to have put in a catfight between Madchen Amick's waitress character and Laura Palmer? This is a good one filled with wonderful British Columbia nature scenes...and Madchen Amick going psycho scenes. See "Wounded" and mourn for opportunities lost by the makers of "Twin Peaks."

Fantasies, Suzanne Pleshette in Peril

Suzanne Pleshette!  Though never naked in this one, she is quite the babe. With some smart business attire, or maybe some shiny undies, the beauty with the gravely voice and the shiny lips gives a nice and alluring performance of a damsel in great peril in the ABC TV's movie premiering on January 18, 1982. Her character isn't likable, but because she is quite the babe, we are pulling for her. Let us look at "Fantasies" (aka "Studio Murders"), directed by William Wiard.

Carla (Pleshette) is a TV soap opera writer who has created the adult soap opera "Middletown USA." Think "Peyton Place" meets "Dynasty." Carla is a cold blooded studio exec who has no qualms about killing off characters or writing young actors and actresses out of her show. Then, one by one, the leads in her TV show get murdered in real life. Take a hiatus? No! The show must go on! Using clever writing, no one is missed and other villains are created. Detective Flynn (Barry Newman) is on the case and tries to convince the president of the network, Mr. Girard (Robert Vaughn), to pause the show, but he's all numbers, ratings, and bottom lines. Carla then has a brilliant idea.  She takes the female lead, an actress (Robin Mattson) and turns her from nubile damsel into villain. The actress is impaled that night while making love to her husband...in real life. Flynn and Carla fall in love and Carla tells her ex-husband John (Patrick O'Neil) to get lost.

Suspects? A ton. Enter Roy (Stuart Damon). He starred in the soap until Carla cut him out of the plot. He's still angry and would love to murder Carla. Too easy? Probably. Flynn runs all  the suspects and they all have alibis.  Carla will strip to her undies and try on some clothes...get attacked in her bedroom and the department store, and Flynn will have no luck putting a case together. Pre-marital sex will occur between Flynn and Carla, and the steamy and prurient soap will continue.

Is Flynn, the suave detective, the killer? Should Carla and her stupid soap opera survive?  Is there a chance that ratings will kill the soap before the killer kills Carla? This is a steamy one and the reveal is just as prurient and maniacal as the plot of "Middleton USA."  Enjoy Suzanne Pleshette, and a shiny shade of lipstick she wears throughout the film, and see "Fantasies."

She Devil, From Charity Case to Trollop

Yep, pure trollop. You divorced guys out there will be able to relate to this one. All women, deep down, are trollops! They smile and wriggle their butts at you, and you're hooked.  Then they turn. Yep turn into... trollops! Today we have a "Frankenstein" type story, complete with a mad scientist who falls in love with his creation. Let us look at the sultry Mari Blanchard film from 1957, "She Devil," directed by Kurt Neumann. BTW..."Trollop" is a term used quite freely in this film.

She's not a trollop yet. Nope, now Kyra (Blanchard) is on a hospital bed, dying. Enter the brilliant and handsome Dr. Scott (Jack Kelly). He has created a serum that cures...everything! Broken bones, paralysis, tuberculosis, gashes to the skin, PMS...you name it. He convinces the head of the hospital, Dr. Bach (Albert Dekker), to allow him to use the serum on the lovely dying dame. He does, cures her, and instantly falls in love with her. She is quite the looker. Kyra thanks them and turns evil immediately. As she robs an old man and a department store, Kyra realizes she can now change her appearance at will. The black haired beauty is now blonde, and now Scott loves her even more...sap! Kyra tells the two doctors that she will do anything she has to to secure great wealth and good clothes. The guys then realize the serum has made her a...trollop!

At a ritzy party to raise funds for the new hospital, Bach and Scott invite rich people and Kyra. Kyra sets her sights on Barton (John Archer) and his money. Uh oh...Barton's wife (Fay Baker) slaps Kyra and calls her a trollop. Yep...catfight ensues and the trollop murders the socialite dame...leaving Barton a widower. Now Kyra sets her sights on marrying the millionaire...then...well you can figure it out. Scott, who loves the trollop...well, she is Mari Blanchard...wants her back and tries to reason with the devil woman. She scoffs at Scott and becomes a deadly femme-fatale.  Carnage will be left in her wake and now Scott and Bach realize they need to act to destroy the devil they have created.

Is Kyra a metaphor for any pretty dame out there...nubile and pure one moment...trollop and evil the next? If a devil woman looked like Mari Blanchard, would we be the same suckers Dr. Scott and Dr. Bach were? Just how does a mad scientist get rid of the creation that has become smarter than he? This is an alluring one and Ms. Blanchard's performance is seductive and captures the camera any time she is in a scene. See "She Devil" and be seduced by a trollop that can stir your juices at will. 

Shark Evil, Big Shark vs. Asian Babes

Chinese babes, to be more specific. Yep, the Chinese actresses look great in bikinis, or other swimwear, or tight SCUBA suits...and sadly, some look terrific being eaten by a big Great White. Of note, Fan Dong and Xiaoxuan Wei. Not household names here, but in China? Yep, they'll make billions forget about Mao...or Chiang Kai-shek. Who? Never mind.  The Chinese have made a shark film, that isn't preachy, and throws babes aplenty at us. Hunks? Sure, they're in this too. Let us look at 2023's "Shark Evil" directed by the Frank Capra of Asia, Huanxiang Chen.

Yu Fei (Dong)...babe! Sad babe. She's arranging a party on her yacht. Engagement party for her bestie Tong Yan (Wei) and Wu Liang (Xin Zer Tan). Problem, Yu Fei was once in love with Wu...who wasn't. More drama, Zhang Yi (Xin Cai) arrives with his new GF...the TV spokesmodel Li Qing (Ziling Huang). She's totally superficial but we like her because she looks great in a swimsuit. Yu Fei feels awkward.  She doesn't have a date and everyone else is smooching and feeling one another up.  The good sport that she is, Yu Fei puts on a nice shiny SCUBA suit and all go out into the ocean. The lovebirds, Wu and Tang Yan go jet skiing, while Yu Fei, the spokesmodel, and Zhang Yi go diving. Uh oh...the Great white comes to the divers.  The lovebirds on the jet ski? They find a derelict fishing vessel.

The horror begins. Sadly, our supermodel won't fare well...sad. Mao would have shed a tear, too. Wu and Tong Yan explore the ghost vessel only to find out its horrific past. The shark now, with a supermodel in its belly, wants dessert. The beautiful will be put through the Great White ringer, and the hunks will be forced to show they are not useless.  The former besties, Yu Fei and Tong Yan will be thrown back together to either reconcile and fight the fish...or die. The babes will get pretty inventive as death gets closer.  The fish seems unstoppable.  It'll ultimately be babes vs. monster shark.  Hopefully the babes will have a better track record than the Chinese armed forces.

Will any babe survive to the end credits?  Will any of the hunks in this film do anything even remotely useful? Is there a catfight brewing between the Yu Fei in her SCUBA suit and Tong Yan in her swimsuit? This is a good one.  Cheese and beef are aplenty as the monster shark seeks to eat both. For a terrific shark film, and the one film that captures the ethos of China through the ages, see "Shark Evil."

The Snow Demon, Idiots vs. the Monster

Go monster! From the United Kingdom we have a stirring film about a creature that haunts the frozen tundra of the United Kingdom. Go with it. Sure, the protagonists are silly and annoying, but our demon, or monster, or Yeti, or whatever it is, will be unmerciful. Today we look at 2026's "The Snow Demon," directed by Dominic Nutter.

As our film begins, Lila (Jenny Miller), a babe, is chased through a kind of snowy landscape by a... well... a snow demon.  This grouchy looking monster that looks like a big coyote that stands on its hind legs, is probably as annoyed by the babe as we will be at her friends, that will come look for her.  Demon wins. It claws Lila apart and eats her...just like a man who has had too much to drink at a frat party. One year later, her buddies come to the isolated part of these woods where she was last seen.  They stay at the same cabin they stayed at last year when Lila wandered away not to be seen again. Emma (Francesca Weir) has the brilliant idea that all of them will light candles to show Lila's spirit the way home. Harper (Belle Taylor) is a thin Goth-wannabe who doesn't quite buy this 'show her the way home' strategy. Jade (Gina Smith) has a secret which once revealed will make us yawn. Rhea (Jessie Vinning)...well, she's there too. Oh, Rowan (Ben Maddocks)! He needs a dose of manhood and to stop hanging out with a scrapbooking crowd.

The snow begins to fall and Harper goes for a jog. She meets a folklorist, Owen (Ronny Mendoza) and then watches him get eaten by the demon. She runs back to the cabin in shock, and Rowan takes Jade, or is it Emma, and goes out to see what scared Harper...he'll find it...to his dismay. Now the gals who are left, which include the catatonic Harper, must batten down the hatches of the cabin and survive. Jade sort of takes the lead...and all her ideas are ridiculous.  The demon-thing seems to have the advantage in this war and will end up eating well. Then, as their ranks thin, Jade comes up with more bad plans.

Will any of the babes survive the wrath of this coyote-like thing?  Will these candles ever get lit?  Is there a man around who has some ounce of masculinity that could come by and save the gals and kill the fiendish demon-thing? This is a fun one, in a MST3K sort of way.  See "The Snow Demon" and see just how far the U.K. has fallen under Keir Starmer, or this new Andy Burnham guy.

The Black Demon, Senor Shark

Okay, maybe I have been a bit too cranky of late.  Still, I have to confess...we have another film in which I'm cheering for the monster. Unlikable characters? Yep...but the preachy tone of this one really turns us against the idiots who will be beset by a 200 foot long shark. Oh, as in many modern shark films, homage will be paid to "Jaws" with the classic line, "I got no spit." Of all the lines...but again, I know I'm a bit too grouchy of late. Let us look at the big shark film from 2023, that no one has seen (big surprise there), "The Black Demon," directed by Adrian Grunberg.

The Baja coast of Mexico.  Hopefully soon to be the America Coast of the United States, is suffering as all its fishing villages are destitute. Cartels? No!  See, a giant demon god has been woken up after an American oil company's oil rig has leaked. Now the demon shark monster is inflicting carnage on all responsible. Enter the  oil company scientist Paul (Josh Lucas). He is assigned to inspect the rig and close it down.  With him are his insufferable family, a Mexican babe wife Ines (Fernanda Urrejola), and two snotty kids (Carlos Solorzano and Venus Ariel). Oh the horrors created by the inane idea of "Bring Your Kids to Work Day." Yep, don't ask, but the family ends up in the rig with Paul...and they are annoying. Everyone on the rig is now in the sea in many pieces.  Only two are left on the rig, the machete wielding Chato (Julio Cesar Cedillo) and Junior (Jorge Jimenez).

Paul is told that because the rig has ruined the environment, the big shark has been sent by some obscure god to wreak vengeance on any human that has ruined the environment. Yawn. The shark attacks the rig with hopes of bringing it down.  Paul and Chato work to secure the rig, get the power back on, and contact someone on shore to come rescue them. Ines and the kids get in the way of the plot and serve to slow it way down...as the kids do at work in those insufferable "Bring Your Kids to Work Days" do. The shark keeps attacking and also eating any boat that could rescue the family and the two Mexican brutes. Feeling guilty about ruining the environment, Paul works to save everyone on board, even his lead weight of a family, and also to bring to light what his oil company has done to the waters off Baja...which we will call the America Coast.  Go ahead say it!  

Will Paul be able to save his family or will the big shark, mercifully, eat them all?  If Mexico refuses to clean up the drug cartels, should anyone feel bad about some leaked oil on the America coast? Will the demon shark take Paul's family as a sacrifice to stop terrorizing the rig?  We can only hope. This is a fun one and big shark movies always have appeal.  For a fun viewing experience, practice saying "America Coast" and see "The Black Demon."

The Flying Serpent, The Reptile-Bird-Vampire Thing

We have been asking for this our whole lives. A definitive movie about Montezuma's Revenge. When the Aztecs go down to defeat at the hands of savages, they no doubt conjure up some of their gods. Enter Quetzalcoatl. Humongous and thunderous creature?  As big as Godzilla or Rodan?  Breathes fire? Well, not quite. Special f/x budgets don't always allow the vengeful gods that we actually need. Let us look at the 1946 film "The Flying Serpent," directed by Sam Newfield.

Professor Forbes (George Zucco) is an evil archaeologist who is into cultural appropriation. He finds the Aztec temple that houses the great god, or at least pretty good god, Quetzalcoatl.  We'll call this deity Q. Yep, in the middle of New Mexico he has excavated Montezuma's lost city and found Montezuma's hidden treasure. Now he wants it all for himself. When anyone gets close to his secret, he lets Q loose from his cage to go kill him. Q? Yep, big bird, though not too big. Maybe five feet long. The bird attacks the necks of Forbes' enemies and drinks their blood, then flies back to the cage. Enter investigative reporter Richard Thorpe (Ralph Lewis). He flies in from New York when he hears about all these ripped apart peeps people in New Mexico. He even begins romancing Forbes' stepdaughter, Mary (Hope "Delayed Disappointment" Kramer). They get real sweet on one another.

Forbes senses Richard is getting at the truth.  Richard is, and now our reporter from NYC figures Forbes is murdering all his competitors. Forbes gets reckless and even has his god-bird murder the cops and other media types who are interested in this story. Richard is fearless and Mary is now in love with him. Sensing Mary can be a big help to Richard in uncovering the truth, Forbes now sets his sights on setting Q on the lovely damsel.

Will Richard be able to protect Mary from the vampire-bird-god?  Will Forbes ever overestimate the loyalty of this underwhelming deity?  If the Aztecs were anywhere as powerful as we're told, why did they just disappear into nothing?  Instead of finding a virgin sacrifice to attend, see "The Flying Serpent" for some terrific B monster movie fun. 

Grizzly Attack, Bear vs. Grouches

Go bear! Yep, another one in which we are rooting for the creature.  In this gritty realistic horror flick, a monster grizzly bear terrorizes a campsite in...the United Kingdom! Just go with it.  In a film that makes us pine for the days of MST3K with Joel and the 'bots, we have the most unlikable characters and a CGI bear. There will be honey.  There will be paint.  There will be bickering.  There will be kerosene and grief. Let us look at 2026's "Grizzly Attack," directed by Peter Borak.

A family grieves the loss of dad. After a few minutes we realize dad was lucky to die in order to get away from this family. Margaret (Jodyanne Richardson) is the mom. She has this look on her face that we just want to smack. Anna (Holly Mae Jackson) is the teen daughter that shows us all why young men have stopped dating in favor of porn. Then there is son David (Jack Hyde). He yells a lot. Then there is son Ethan, who is really stupid and we pray he gets eaten first. Yep, this family heads to the woods to stay in a cabin and remember dad. They bicker the entire time. Then the bear show up.

The bear is a grizzly and has a soft moan and even the CGI can't make it look scary. Our fear is that it may lose interest in this family and let them live. Fortunately the bear does attack and one by one eats these grouches. I will say there is a fiery death scene that really does warm out hearts. Plans for survival? They come up with them. What they are is a mystery and won't work. The bear keeps coming back . Anna keeps waxing poetic and lets us know the cabin smells of old firewood and regret. Later she lets us know it smells like grief and kerosene. Hopefully, Anna smells like dinner for the bear.

Do any of these family members survive the wrath of the CGI bear...and should they? Will Anna give her nose a rest and actually try to figure out some plan that has some level of intelligence behind it? Will the bear wipe the mom's stupid grin off her face, or wipe the entire face off? This is a fun one in a MST3K type of way. Hey, it's better than anything Harrison Ford has done over the past 40 years. See "Grizzly Attack," and cheer at the carnage.  

Come and Get Me, Psychos vs. Aussie Babes

This may be the most depraved film ever from Australia...or of the 21st century.  The film can boast of a beautiful set of actresses, and some psycho males that will shred them, or try to. Depraved.  Misogynistic. Torture-Porn. Ominous.  Gratuitous. Lacking any humor or respite.  For those who like their horror horrific, we have one for you today. Warning, it won't be easy to watch what complete nutcases do to some very attractive Australian babes. Our feature today is 2011's "Come and Get Me," directed by Chris Sun.

Three complete psychos. Johnny (Christian Radford), Bretto (Shaun Trainer), and William (Christopher Price) abduct babes, then hunt them.  The hunts never last long and result in brutal rapes, and then the gals are butchered into little pieces. The first hunt we see is the lovely Kate (Jess Taylor), and it will not be easy to watch. Elongated. Brutal. Gory. Okay, four sultry Aussie party girls come to Brisbane for nightclubbing. Brisbane? Yeah, kind of like Terre Haute without the glitz. The sultry Gemma (Allira Jacques), Susan (Sarah Jane Blair), Michelle (Alexis Fernandez), and Leah (Kelsie McDonald) are each looking fine and drinking a lot.  Yep...the aforementioned groups are going to meet up...and it won't be pretty.

We don't like any of the gals when we first meet them.  Sadly, what happens to them will still be difficult to watch.  The first kill is brutal and gory, and internal organs will pour out.  Now the surviving gals are on the run through the woods and the three killers are close behind. The gals will fight for their lives.  Humiliation, rape, and disembowelment await them if they fail.  William, Bretto, and Johnny will make sure rape precedes, and follows the murders if they catch the beauties. What unfolds will be shocking, cause you to look away from the screen, and absolutely break your heart. Vicious and at no point will any of these babes receive a break.

Will any of the beauties survive this trio of psychos?  Will any of the psychos fall in their quest for rape and murder? Will this film end any kind of partying tourism Brisbane had enjoyed? Be warned, "I Spit on Your Grave" was a Disney classic compared to this gore-fest.  For an exercise in extreme horror, see "Come and Get Me." 

How Awful About Allan, Psycho-Lite

Anthony Perkins! Yep, in a movie where he plays an unstable young man, sent to a mental institution after maybe committing a murder. Then some psychiatrist, ill informed, releases him...then he heads back to the house which is the scene of the crime? "Psycho"? No! Today we look at the ABC Movie of the Week for September 22, 1970. Oh, you'll like this...an Aaron Spelling presentation! Let us look at "How Awful About Allan," directed by Curtis Harrington.

Allan lives in a big house with his sister Katherine (Julie Harris) and father. A fire occurs in the middle of the night and Allan rushes into his dad's room only to freeze as his dad is engulfed with flames. Katherine rushes in next, sees Allan has frozen, and tries to save the dad....her face is burned to a crisp as she does, leaving her scarred for life. Allan emerges blind.  His blindness is purely psychological and he is sent to an insane asylum. Now he gets out and does not appear happy to be sent back home to be cared for by his sister, Katherine. Katherine believes Allan still belongs in the looney bin.  Olive (Joan Hackett) is sweet on Allan and is the neighbor. She is happy to see Allan, but Allan doesn't feel like socializing. Allan is hostile to Katherine. She was always daddy's favorite and her and the dad may have been a lot closer than they should have been.

Allan never liked his dad and Katherine believes Allan could have saved him that fateful night. Olive? She's happy to see Allan and desires a romantic relationship with him.  Then Katherine allows borders in the house. The borders? Supposedly they are students form the college but Allan believes Katherine has brought her lover into the home to murder him. Paranoid to the max, Allan thinks there is a presence in the house, that may be a ghost, or a border, that is trying to murder him.  Allan seemingly gets increasingly unwound and Katherine begins making arrangements to send him back to the nuthouse.

Is Allan correct, that Katherine is trying to murder him?  Is Olive in on the plot?  Will Allan regain his sight just in time to see the axe come down on his head? Allan's sanity is in question for the entire film and the ending will be haunting.  For a thriller that stays low-key, but builds to an uneasy conclusion, see "How Awful About Allan."  

Tailgate, The Dutch Exterminator

Dutch horror films? "Amsterdamned" is the one that comes immediately to mind. Well, we have another. Yep, a weird one that is kind of icky. Perhaps a ballad on politeness, as rudeness is what sets the psycho off in this one. The protagonist? We don't like him. We kind of see the psycho's point of view.  Not that we condone the horrific stuff that he does, but as with much of western Europe, their arrogance is not their friend. Let us look at a 2019 film from The Netherlands, "Tailgate" (aka "Bumperkleef"), directed by Lodewijk Crijns.

As our film begins, Ed, a humongous exterminator in a white van chases down a bicyclist, mows him down, and fills him up with rat poison. You know the Dutch. Apparently the bicyclist was rude to him and cut him off on the road. Fast forward, the twerp Hans (Jeroen Spitzenberger) is herding his snotty family into the family Volvo (I know, you hate them already). His grouchy wife, Diana (Anniek Pheifer), yells at him nonstop.  His two snotty little girls (Liz Vergeer and Roosmarijn van der Hoek) bicker constantly. Late, Hans speeds in traffic and tailgates Ed and his white van. Ed goes psycho and begins terrorizing the family on the road.  The hulking Ed looks to be almost seven feet tall, and when he dons his white HAZMAT suit, and straps on his tank of rat poison, well, it's pretty scary...or as scary as you are going to get in Holland.

He sprays the family and is bent on teaching Hans and Diana manners. The kids scream in horror.  Both Hans and Diana seem to unravel as Ed continues his pursuit. Uh oh...Ed has stolen Hans' phone and knows where his parents live.  Hans' parents are battling dementia and when Ed shows up at their home, more horror. Now Hans' and family arrive at the grandparents house and do not know Ed and his rat poison have beaten him and his family there. An awkward and twisted war develops and Hans will really be put through the ringer as his snotty family is of little help.

Will Hans, and his family, survive the psycho who merely seeks politeness?  Is Ed's evil methods to instill niceness a metaphor for the iron hand used by the European Union to redefine western morality? Will Diana ever shut up and let her husband enjoy a moment of peace? This is a weird one and the villain is ominous and big.  For something a little different, from Europe, see "Tailgate." 

Green Room, Punk Rock Band Shredded

Punk Rock bands don't make the kind of victims that we pull for.  They have no talent and most are high on whatever they can shoot.  Still, by the end of this film, we are pulling for them.  Sure, not as a punk rock  band but as losers in life.  The underdog. The much heralded 2015 film we will look at today is a gore-fest, and even stars that "Star Trek" guy...the bald grouchy guy.  Our film today is "Green Room," directed by Jeremy Soulnier.

The Ain't Rights are the aforementioned band. Not much talent, but they have taken their van across country to play in gigs...that net them only a few measly dollars.  After earning only $6 at their last gig, they drive down near Portland and play at some dive filled with skinheads and neo-National Socialists. It goes...okay.  The crowd got down for their music, and even liked one of them. Pat (Anton Yelchin) is the lead singer and Sam (Alia Shawkat) is the manager. On the way out of the green room the band sees Emily (Taylor Tunes) knifed in the head by Justin (Eric Edelstein). Justin is a big one and holds the band in the room at gunpoint. Uh oh...a lot is going on at this dive bar and the owner, Darcy (Patrick Stewart) is called to manage the clean-up. Clean-up? Yeah...get rid of witnesses and preserve the operation being undertaken in the basement. 

Now Darcy wants the band to come out of the room.  Pat has gotten the gun away from Justin. Uh oh, Emily's bestie, Amber the skinhead babe (Imogen Poots) is also in the room, and she's psycho. Upset at what Justin did to Emily, she...well, it is pretty gory, you'll see. Darcy mobilizes his skinheads and neo-National Socialists to raid the green room, which is locked and barricaded. War ensues. Guns. Machetes. Boxcutters. Fire extinguishers. Attack dogs. You name it. Darcy has a lot to lose if The Ain't Rights get away.  Pat and his band have even more to lose.  Blood will be shed.  Limbs will be destroyed.  Throats will be ripped out. All very yucky.

Do our underdogs have a prayer against an army of skinheads? Will Pat develop a third chord, thus maybe gaining some talent?  Can Pat trust psycho Amber as his band wages war against the neo-National Socialists?  "Green Room" is an ominous one, with much gore, and some heartbreaking deaths.  For a good metaphor of the fate of most Punk Rock bands, see "Green Room." 

American Driller Killer, America's Bloody Decay

Detroit...Washington, DC...Memphis...Baltimore...Philadelphia...Louisville...Atlanta...New York City...Los Angeles...Chicago...take your pick. Arguably, the aforementioned cities can be termed s**t holes. The original title of 2020's "American Driller Killer" was "Detroit Driller Killer," but most major American cities can fit the bill of the setting for this vicious film with an extraordinarily high kill count. The decay of the American city's, if anyone's fault, is the fault of all of us. No elected pol in any of these cities has the brains nor desire to fix them. As Americans continue to get mowed down in these places, at a much higher rate than the Afghanistan death count, perhaps this film by Matt Jassle  should be required viewing.

Reno (Justin Scro) is a loser who can't find a job. He writes screenplays. When the job he lands, to write the script for "Cannibal Inferno," falls through...he goes berserk. First up, after buying a power drill, is his nagging wife Carol (Alyssa Rose Schultz). He'll store her body in the shower and keep talking to her. Reno then goes out for a walk/spree. During this spree he will drill to death hookers, a mugger, and a guy wielding a baseball bat. His rampage will continue the next day after talking to the voices in his head. The punk band Splooge will be drilled.

Reno's victims don't draw much sympathy from us. They are the dregs of society...the creatures that have taken over the inner cities. It is easy to fall into that trap...and we do. You know...that trap when we believe not all human life is sacred...you don't have to admit that out loud. Then, two decent folk get it...and this serves as a wake-up call...perhaps their is something precious  about human life. After these two heartbreaking killings, we the viewer have sobered up. The trash Reno is cleaning off the Detroit streets all of a sudden are human beings to us. Humans with potential for good. This doesn't matter to Reno as the bulk of his murders are ahead.

What will Reno's ultimate death count be as the final credits roll? Is there anything in Reno's hatred that perhaps we can identify in ourselves? Is there any hope for the urban decay that has destroyed our major cities? These aren't rhetoric questions but you can answer them in private. Vicious, grim, gory, and ominous, "American Driller Killer" may be an American parable, or a warning with a call to goodness. 

Tiger's Rampage, Tiger vs. Bachelorettes

Yep, we'll be cheering for the tiger. Five beautiful, and eternally boring dames, doing boring things, being annoying, whining, giggling, and playing lame drinking games. Yep, go tiger! In a gore-fest, hauntingly loyal to the book, we will look at 2026's "Tiger's Rampage," directed by Dominic Nutter.

Hurricane hits England! Go with it. The zoo is decimated and a tiger is now loose on the countryside. It eats two zookeepers, no great loss. Gotta say, the kills are extremely gory. Here they come, a bride-to-be and her four bridesmaids for a bachelorette weekend at a rented mansion near the woods. Oh, Cindy (Francesca Weir) the bride is blind. Her boring friends, one will end up in a bikini, are ready for drinking, marijuana, hot tub frolicking, and the obligatory Truth-or-Dare game. Yawn. Lara (Sophie Jo Beman) is an outsider to the group, but we like her the best. Mya (Paige Haim) brought a bikini and is ready for the hot tub. Louise (Serena Lehman) is a hot blonde who sketches. Then Pepper (Sarah Louise Hill), who is no Angie Dickinson, but she does love crystals and other New Age garbage. I know...bring on the tiger.

Yep, it arrives.  The thing is big and CGI, but identifies as a real tiger, so for the purpose of this review we will consider it a real tiger. It doesn't like these dames either. The gals are ill equipped to battle the monster and blood will splatter all over the place. Blind Cindy will make some dumb mistakes as none of her other senses seem to have enhanced after losing her sight. Pepper's crystals will not stop the onslaught...big surprise there. Oh, even the Truth-or-Dare game won't leads to any prurient revelations. The ending? You will not believe it.  You thought shooting the SCUBA tank in "Jaws" was a great ending! Ha! The ending here is...well...let's just say that Joel and the 'bots would have had a field day with it.

Will the babes all get in bikinis and have a catfight in the hot tub that includes a real cat? Will Cindy find out that one of her girlfriends had an affair with her fiancé? Will Cindy's cane be of any use against a predatory tiger? See "Tiger's Rampage" and realize why the male species is far superior than the female species.

X, When Beauty Flees Us

This Ti West film may be the most disturbing film you will see this decade.  Everything about it is designed to make you squirm and turn your head...and I'm not just talking gore. It should also be noted that this film is the magnum opus for Mia Goth, for reasons you will understand when you see this film... if you decide to watch it. Porn! Weird sex! Gore! Rated X filmmaking! Oh, throw in a gator, for whatever that is worth.  Let us look at the Ti West vicious horror film, 2022's "X."

1979! Remember that year? AIDS wasn't a thing yet, and that is significant because the film will follow a movie crew as they make an indie porn film called "The Farmer's Daughters." Plot? Really? Wayne (Martin Henderson) is the executive producer and is able to rent a rooming house from an old farmer, Howard (Stephen Ure). Really old!  Like almost 100, or so he looks. Now Wayne can have his film shot on a real farm. Howard did not know the purpose Wayne wanted the building, but is not happy...for reasons that will disgust you. Maxine (Goth) is Wayne's GF and an "actress" in the film. Jackson (Kid Cudi) is the male lead and has a big tally-whacker. Jackson's GF and female lead is the buxom Bobby-Lynne (Brittany Snow). The sound girl, Lorraine (Jenna Ortega) is quite a dish and will eventually become an "actress" in this porn film..  Uh oh, Howard's dementia ridden wife is loose and her passions and desires are stoked when she peeps in a window and sees Jackson giving it to Bobby-Lynne.

I didn't mention the director, RJ (Owen Campbell). Lorraine is his GF and he goes ape when she insists on becoming an actress in his film. He storms off and is met by Pearl, who tries to seduce him (yuck!) then stabs him in the neck. Now the dementia ridden Pearl, who has her sexuality from 1920 stoked and re-awakened, tries to seduce everyone and if they rebuff her, gory death awaits. She does have a special place in her heart for Maxine and will, at one point crawl into bed with her and...well, you'll see. Maxine? She looks diminutive but she is always high on cocaine and that will give her spunk. Now, with all the porn going on in the building next to the farm house, the ancient Pearl wants sex from anyone that moves.  This causes discomfort from the youngsters on the crew, and it just may cause their demises, too. 

Gory, vicious, and very uncomfortable, this film will have you reaching over to turn it off, but your hand will never quite make it to the knob (1979 terminology). Oh, get this...the sweet young Maxine is played by Mia Goth...who also plays the ancient Pearl.  You will have to see it to believe it. For one of those horrific horror films we may not want to have seen, you will find yourself unable to change the channel.  See "X," and be warned, you won't be able to unsee it.  

Fall, Over 2000 Feet

A long way down. Over 2000 feet. I have heard there is no fear of heights...it is, in reality, a fear of jumping. You get way up there and all of a sudden the dangers are magnified.  Fear. Panic. Buzzards. Each other. No room for error.  Today we have one that plies some Alfred Hitchcock techniques that build suspense. We also have a couple of gals, neither of which we like, who must battle their own stupid choices to survive. I know, when a woman wants to be independent and empowered, find the men to come save them. Our feature today is 2022's "Fall," directed by Scott Mann.  Let's just hope some men will care enough to save these babes.

Okay, three idiots climb an angry mountain, the mountain wins. Becky (Grace Caroline Currey), her influencer buddy Hunter (Virginia Gardner), and Becky's husband Dan (Mason Gooding). Becky and Dan are so cute...too cute. Dan messes up and falls to his death, traumatizing Becky. Becky should move on, as her dad (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) reminds her. Instead she drowns out her sorrow with alcohol and pills. A year later, her bestie, Hunter, has a proposition for her. Climb the B-67 TV tower...2047 feet! Hunter will post on YouTube, and Becky can face her fears and demons and move on in life. Dan? Still dead...good. It takes some convincing, but Becky realizes Hunter is right, and she does need to move on so she can live. Off they go. Oh, the 2000 foot tower? Not operable anymore and in the middle of nowhere.

The tower looks daunting and is surrounded by buzzards...fit omen. At first the climb is easy...deceptively easy.  On their way up, using the tower's ladder, nuts and bolts are jarred loose from their climbing. Up, up, and away...more bolts fall loose. The geniuses don't care, there is a tragedy to move on from, and likes to be had. They get there. Hunter makes sure her cleavage is front and center...views, you know. Becky has done it. She has conquered her fear and her sorrow. Then, remember all those bolts that fell? The ladder falls off the tower, leaving the babes stuck up there. Now the two must be resourceful and figure out how to get down...other than the obvious way. This won't be easy as gravity is just waiting to give them a hand. Sure, they come up with a few bad ideas, that fail miserably. Then the buzzards come.  Only fair. Just what will the babes do? Post cleavage pics on Instagram, film YouTube segments, and bicker. Dames! Days go by.  People do not come.

Will some men, who won't do anything stupid, arrive to save these two broads?  Is Hunter's cleavage worth more than a few hits on Instagram? Will two babes, stuck in the same place for more than 10 minutes, end up murdering one another? I gotta give the moviemakers credit, it really does look realistic, like they actually filmed 2000 feet up. If you are afraid of heights, this is not the film for you. The suspense is very Hitchcockian. See "Fall," ignore the clickbait cleavage, and enjoy a suspenseful woman vs. tower movie.

 

The Power, Not the Higher One

What a weird movie. Almost hallucinogenic. Psychedelic, maybe. A techno-thriller! Right, it is from 1968. Mad scientists working on a government contract go spastic. Think of Dr. Fauci and Josef Mengele with no supervision. You know we're in trouble when the government and the military industrial complex want to study the human threshold for pain. Lab rats? Ha! People! Sure, why not? What could go wrong!? Just ask Lord Acton. Our feature today is "The Power," directed by Byron Haskin.

Mr. Nordlund (Michael Rennie) arrives from the government to provide supervision at a university's laboratory which is working on the aforementioned experiment. He is very interested in Jim Tanner's (George Hamilton) experiment in isolating the area of the brain that processes pain. The team converges for a staff meeting and the weird mad scientist Henry Hallson (Arthur O'Connell) is unnerved. Why? Ethics or pain? No! He has figured it out. He has passed out a survey and determines someone in the group has the power. What power? The power to control everyone, control nature, control physiology, control hormones, control the past and future. No, Fauci is not in this group. There is a problem, he doesn't know who the person is. He tries an experiment and this confirms he's right. Also in the group is Van Zandt (Richard Carlson), Scott (Earl Holliman), Margery Lansing (Suzanne Pleshette), and Dr. Melnicker (Nehemiah Persoff).

That night...Hallson is murdered in the most unusual way. Enter Detective Corlane (Gary Merrill). Oh, Tanner and Lansing are lovers. Guess what Corlane finds out. Tanner has no verifiable past.  His university and past employments, listed on his resume, have never heard of him. Now fired, Lansing tries to figure out who is framing him and who is the one with the power. He visits Hallson's widow (Yvonne De Carlo)...she is now happier that her husband is dead. Uh oh...she can't even remember her husband. Tanner heads into the California desert to track down a name written on Hallson's notepad.  The team members die in weird circumstances, one by one, and Tanner finds that everyone who knows of this mystery man, either has been brainwashed, or dies. Only Margery seeks to help Tanner clear his name and figure out who this superior being is.

Confused? Well, the ending will pull all this together and provide a proper moral for possessing this almost absolute power.  Is Tanner really a fraud, and is he the one with the power?  Is the nubile Margery, who doesn't seem to be vital for the project, too helpful, thus the one with the power? If Tanner is not the one with the power, why doesn't the being with the power just kill him? It'll take you several minutes to figure out what you just saw beyond the end credits.  Still, it is worth it.  See "The Power" and revisit one of the greatest warnings delivered to humanity.