Panic, Mad-Scientist Runs Amok

It happens. It's happened in your homes and it happens in government labs. Yep...contagion procedures fail and contamination spreads through the lab. Maybe, if we're lucky we can cover it up and government regulators or health departments never find out about it. In our film today, 1982's "Panic," this lab won't be so fortunate. In an Italian film, set in England, contamination may mean the end.

A lab accident causes Professor Adams (Roberto Ricci) to be contaminated by a contagion that turns him into a slimy monster and causes him to ooze green fluid and kill everyone he meets. His lab assistant, Jane (Janet Agren), is very pretty and desires to save all of mankind...unfortunately, she is useless to the plot other than getting in everyone's way. The heavy hitters are sent in as as Adams, now a fiend, has escaped into a town called Newton and begins killing, mostly nubile babes. Captain Kirk (David Warback)...really!...arrives to clean up the mess...and find and kill Adams. Jane wants to save him and since she is real pretty, no one tells her to go away, though she will be ignored.

Scotland Yard sends in Sgt. O'Brien to assist Captain Kirk...Mr. Spock was busy. The two of them comb Newton as Adams goes through Newton's hunks and babes like crap through a goose. Uh oh...the British government can't afford Adams to reach major population areas and dispatch an air force bomber to level the town. The British army is also sent to quarantine the town. As the bomber nears Newton, Jane continues to look real pretty and offers nothing to the plot. Kirk and O'Brien, however, follow the the trail of mangled townsfolk and get closer to the the fiend who has sought refuge in the gassy sewers under the streets. Double uh-oh, bullets have little effectiveness on the monster.

Like irrelevant crew members who beam down to planets with Captain Kirk, will Jane die horribly? Will the Royal Air Force really nuke Newton? Is Newton being nuked because they are heavily Labour in a Tory dominated England? This is a fun one and the fiend is very menacing looking as he kills everyone in his path. For conspiracy theorists and English Tories, enjoy "Panic" and find out if the monster or a British town get leveled.