Friday, August 16, 2019

The Ninth Passenger, Creatures From the Abyss Redux

Remember that low-budget Italian film set in Florida, "Creatures From the Abyss"? You can check out my review of it at this link ( Creatures From the Abyss ). Well 2018's "The Ninth Passenger" is a less endearing shot at the same plot. Like its predecessor, we have a lot of hunks and babes we desire to die horribly. We also have a stranded luxury yacht, a lot of bikinis and pre-marital sex, and hunks who are real stupid. Oh yes...creatures!!! Mustn't forget the mad-scientist created monsters!
As our film begins, Brady (Jesse Metcalfe) comes out of the surf. You ladies will love Brady...he hasn't shaved in 24 hours and his pecs will make you forget your current BF. Uh oh...did he just massacre the crew of some boat between Vancouver and Victoria? Maybe. Now we meet Jess (Alexia Fast), a babe who is quite annoying. Both her and Brady look like they have just endured personal tragedy. Unfortunately, Jess tells us hers...she witnessed children being poisoned by the fumes of melting whales...Yawn!!! Jess' bestie, Nicole (Cinta Laura Kiehl) is a skank that gets the duo invited on a luxury yacht with guys who want a lot of pre-marital sex.
On the yacht we meet Tina (Sabina Gadecki)...a skank in a tight and short party dress and heels who will do battle with monsters and horny guys through the entire film. She is the only one we like. Wait...Brady sneaks aboard the yacht and goes through the computer files and finds a mutant embryo. The yacht takes off and gets stranded near an island where a mad-scientist's lab has been wiped out by mutant the mutant sea creatures start focusing on the hunks and babes. As Jess annoys everyone, and Brady's pecs impress everyone, the creatures start picking them off one by one. Hopefully they will get the possibly virgin Jess before we hear more of her melting whales story. But will the serious looking Brady and his pecs survive?
Sound bad? Well, the worse part is you will never forget Jess' story about the melting whales ...seriously.  Just who does the yacht belong to and who ran that genetics laboratory on the thought-to-be deserted island? Will any of the amorous hunks even think about pre-marital sex with the uber-annoying Jess?  Even though she is set up to be the 'final-girl,' is there a hope Jess will get ripped apart by the mutant creatures? The movie has merit, remember, there is beauty in the swamp if you look in the right places. First...there is hope all the characters will die horribly. Second, Ms. Gadecki's portrayal of skank Tina gives us someone to cheer for...alas, you can probably guess her fate. For a nostalgic homage to "Creatures From the Abyss," see "The Ninth Passenger."


  1. It's hard to beat Creatures From the Abyss but a really good try, abbs and tits, main ingredients for these kinda movies!!

  2. Lol this sounds like Dead Calm meets Humanoids From the Deep will check this out & thanks for the reminder on Creatures From the Abyss, haven't seen that one in years but remember finding it a lot more entertaining than I was expecting at the time.Nice review as always mate