Thursday, August 8, 2019

Teenage Slumber Party Nightmare, Justifiable Homicide

Wait! Damn auto-correct...changed my words to "Justifiable Homicide." I, of course, didn't mean to say that the teenage gals in this film needed to be killed...or that the character of Marlo (Lauren Richardson) needed to be cut into a lot of pieces and cooked...I would never say that, no matter how annoying the teenage girls are in a film. I of course would never side with the psycho over silly teenage girls...nope, not me. Hence 2014's "Teenage Slumber Party Nightmare." Mental note to self: Fix those words that auto-correct changed. is so unreal. This dialog must be an ad-lib exercise. Four sixteen year old maybe virgins are whining and cooing about boys and sex. They decide to have a slumber party but not before Casey (Martha Staus) goes to meet a secret admirer behind the school. She, of course, ends up meeting psycho classmate Kort (Kirk Munaweera)...and he mercifully kills her. Wait! There's that auto-correct again...I didn't mean to imply Casey deserved to be murdered. Let's continue, Jamie the virgin (Kaitlyn Yurkiw) brings Marlo the virgin and Trish the not-so-virgin home for a slumber party. They talk about boys and sex and Marlo (wearing purple tinged hair very smartly) speaks. Egad! Does she have major congestion problems?
Making fun of a B movie actress? You might be saying 'that's not like Zisi.' Just wait. Kort follows them home and murders the pizza guy. Kort has a power drill and intends to use it on the trio of maybe-virgins. Then something happens midway through the film...Marlo! We do a complete 180 and now Marlo's unusual speaking efforts are...well....endearing. Oh no, Kort is out there and ready to invade the house and drill out the brains of the maybe-virgins. Now we, the audience, are panicked. This Marlo chick has grown on us and we pray for her to survive...and maybe become the central protagonist in a series of graphic novels. This is not Kort's plan and he takes the drill, enters the abode'll see.
Oh please...let Marlo survive! That will be your chant, too. Just what is it with Marlo's manner of communicating that, at first, repels us, and then seduces us? Does Cosmopolitan magazine teach speech impediments and nasal congestion as a means of seduction? Is this film a complicated metaphor for the hopelessness and dysfunction of teenagers in North America? Directed by Richard Moss, "Teenage Slumber Party Nightmare" is an unusual film that will manipulate you in weird ways. Kudos to the actresses here as you will be impressed by their efforts, eventually. 


  1. Let's hope they all survive and appear in some 'adult' b grades in future years to come, well navigated, I think Cleo and Cosmopolitan are sending out the wrong messages! 'Oh, please... let Marlo survive!"

  2. Lol, "Does Cosmopolitan magazine teach speech impediments and nasal congestion as a means of seduction?" I bet that article would be popular