Tuesday, June 18, 2024

Aquaslash, Waterslide of Blood

No doubt...the best waterslide scene ever put on film. Even better than the one in Kubrick's "Paths of Glory." More importantly, we have a Renaud Gauthier film. This man makes Giallo-type films in Canada. Nubile babes being sliced up. Six-pack abs hunks sliced up.  Pureed, really. Death count? Enormous! Bikinis? Well, if someone has one on...they'll end up in at least four pieces. Many may see this film as a remake of "A Bridge Too Far," but this one has a higher death count. So today we look at 2019's "Aquaslash."

Brittany Drisdelle is a doll!  She has that Pamela Susan Shoop look. We plead with the screen that she will remain whole in this film. She is Priscilla, hired by waterpark manager Paul (Nick Walker) to run special events, like the high school graduation party in this film. Paul also is having a lot of pre-marital sex with Priscilla. The high school hunks and babes converge.  Brad and Cindy (Jeremy Lavigne and Samantha Hodhod), while making out, are cut into pieces. Yes, there is a killer loose...perhaps one from the 1980s when a massacre occurred at this same park. Suspects? Everyone!  Michael (Ho Jo Rose) enters the picture. He wants to buy the park from Paul and boink Priscilla...as does everyone else. Boink Priscilla, that is.

The slashings continue. Nubile babes die horribly as do their hunk BFs. We meet lifeguard Kimberly (Lanisa Dawn), the redheaded lifeguard.  She's boinking Josh (Nicolas Fontaine). Josh is in a band and seems really sweet. Kimberly is also sweet and other than her proclivity for pre-marital sex, we really like her. Tommy (Paul Zinno) loves Kimberly too and is upset, in rage, that Kimberly now loves Josh. Trouble is brewing all the way around...and there is a killer loose!  Then...the last 20 minutes of this movie will forever be imprinted on your mind. What unfolds at the waterslide will be ominous, seemingly never-ending, and oh such a treat for slasher film fans.

With a wonderful cheesecake and beefcake level, this is a film you could bring a date to. Will Priscilla indeed be left in tact, unlike Pamela Susan Shoop in "Halloween 2"?  Just who is the psycho that will massacre so many bikini babes and six-pack abs hunks? Will Kimberly and Priscilla engage in a catfight in the water while ripping off each other's swimsuits? Hey, just thought I'd throw in that last question...you just never know.  See "Aquaslash" and relive 1980s slasher films.

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