Monday, February 20, 2023

The Body Stealers, NATO in Trouble

Unable to deter the Russian threat in Europe, NATO has proven to be unready and unarmed.  As the west's military can't even beat balloons, NATO is wondering why they did not stock up on bullets and tanks.  This was not always the case.  NATO used to have real men.  Men who sucked face with every babe in western Europe, and often, engaged in pre-marital sex with those same beauties.  Those were the days!  Now NATO has pronoun training for all of its troops.  Today we look at 1969's "The Body Stealers," directed by Gerry Levy.

NATO paratroopers are disappearing in mid-air as they practice on English air force bases.  General Armstrong (George Sanders) is ordered to get to the bottom of it.  He calls in Bob (Patrick Allen).  Who is Bob?  Some NATO secret agent type.  More importantly, he spends all his time sucking face and having pre-marital sex with English babes.  Bob begins investigating and has Armstrong ground all jumping exercises.  Next, Bob makes his way over to the lab where he'll meet Julie (Hillary Heath).  She's a genius but soon reduced to a drooling babe in need of Bob's amorous attention.  Dr. Matthews (Maurice Evans), head scientist at the lab, tells Bob to consider otherworldly causes for the disappearance of the paratroopers.

Not satisfied with merely sucking face with Julie during this mission to save the world, Bob meets a blonde vixen, Lorna (Pamela Conway).  They'll have a grand old time kissing in the surf and then probably engaging in pre-marital sex.  Lorna is a strange one.  She has a penchant for disappearing into thin air and registering as radioactive on sensors.  Now Lorna pleads with Bob to stop flying.  Bob is brave and must solve the mystery of the disappearing paratroopers.  Meanwhile, Julie makes some startling discoveries but these are ignored as she sucks more face with Bob.  Now things get strange.  Bob sets off to do a parachute jump and see for himself what is happening to the missing soldiers.  Uh oh again...others who see Lorna, follow her...and die horribly.

What is happening to these NATO paratroopers?  Will Lorna and Julie meet and engage in a vicious catfight?  If NATO had more real men like Bob, who skipped his pronoun training, would Russia still be inching toward Poland?  This is a good one from 1969 with a lot of good beef and cheese.  For a jolly good time, take a peak back to when men were men, women were women, and sucking face was encouraged.  See "The Body Stealers" today. 

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