Friday, July 19, 2019

Hazard Jack, PTSD and Deviant Pre-Marital Sex

Sure, there is a whole bunch about this film that attempts to make a statement about PTSD and our returning war heroes. We'll ignore that aspect of 2014's "Hazard Jack" and focus on the more gratuitous aspects of this slasher film. Film makers love to make our veterans out to be homicidal lunatics, though the facts suggest that they are more well-adjusted than most. No matter...even ignoring the intended social statement, we still have a fine and gratuitous psycho film.
Okay, Jack (Quincy Taylor) leaves the army suffering from PTSD and takes up shop in an abandoned hospital. Enter a bunch of babes and hunks looking for a paintball venue. Before the hunks arrive, Jack has done in his wife with a jackhammer, Now a plurality of America has descended into his world for paintball...actually they never get to paintball as pre-marital sex is first up. We have jocks, sluts, geeks, gays, and Bridget (Amanda Maddox) and Dillon (Macauley Gray). These last two emerge as 'normal' peeps. Pick your favorite babe or hunk. Most will die horribly.
As the moans and groans of deviant sex echo through the empty corridors, Jack is aroused. He grabs a portable circular saw, a flamethrower, and an axe and goes to work. Randle and Muffy (Josh Jacques and Ashley Walsh) will both be decapitated as they are in the throes of pre-marital sex. Kyle and Barbie (Zachary Meyer and Deanna Meske) will suffer a similar fate. We are pulling for Bridget and Dillon...though not too much, and our virgin nerds Stella and Earl (Alisan Lani and Kevin Sporman). The kills will be graphic and finally Jack abducts the pregnant Bridget...oh yes, she is with child. Now Dillon and the nerds team up to find the pregnant damsel and defeat Jack.
Do any of these unfortunate paintball all-stars deserve to survive? Will Bridget's pregnancy save her from a gruesome fate as our movie-makers approach a taboo subject? Do all women who play paintball have excessive breast implants? "Hazard Jack" is definitely for  the slasher fan as those who detest horror movies just won't understand. Directed by David Worth, "Hazard Jack" is gratuitous in gore, sex, nudity, and breast if you enjoy it, don't say so in mixed company.

1 comment:

  1. oh wow, breast implants, they could be great recruits for Big Tit Inc, on a serious note, nice points you have hit upon, soldiers are disciplined.