Monday, April 24, 2017

Deadly Eyes, Ravenous Dachsunds Attack the Subway

After Robert Clouse directed several Bruce Lee films, he made a horror story for our time.  They may look cute, but underneath their playful and obedient demeanor are man-eating creatures waiting for opportunity.  Dachsunds!  Beware!  Okay, 1982's "Deadly Eyes" (aka "Night Eyes") may be a film about mutant rats attacking Toronto.  However, if you realize the rats in this film are actually Dachsunds, made up to look like giant rats, this becomes a very enjoyable film.
Several complicated and riveting plot lines will all come together in toothy carnage.  Here goes. Kelly (Sara Botsford), a health department official, condemns a feed plant.  The corn feed, meant for animals, is infested with rats and spiked with steroids.  The feed is blown up and burned...problem solved...yeah right.  The rats, who have been feasting on steroids, now scatter into Toronto.  Also, hunk high school teacher, Paul (Sam Groom)  has a problem.  His lovely, and amorous student Trudy (Lisa Langlois) has a mad crush on him.  Trudy will invade Paul's shower, apartment, and bedroom, with a goal pre-marital sex with him.  Kelly and Paul fall in love and they have pre-marital sex.
Back to the Dachsunds...er...giant rats.  They begin feasting.  They burrow into a house and eat a baby and his babysitter.  They invade the park, eat Scatman Crothers, and finally converge on a bowling alley, movie theater, and subway system. As Trudy sheds more clothes in an attempt to bed Paul, Kelly actually beds him.  As the mayor sets up a big gala opening up a subway line, the Dachsunds...er...rats head over there without invites. Now Paul must act to save his new love, Kelly, before the Dach...er...giant rats get to her first.  See, Kelly is one of the mayor's guests at the gala, hence, she is also a menu item.
If the rats get Kelly, will a grieving Paul turn to a nubile Trudy?  Will our cuddly little Dachsunds ...er...I mean...monster rats feast on the mayor and Toronto subway patrons?   Lisa Langlois is very seductive, though hardly necessary in this horror story.  Horror film fans will recognize Lesleh Donaldson, who portrays Trudy's BFF.  For all of you who have never trusted Dachsunds, "Deadly Eyes" is a film for you.

3 comments:

  1. When rodents of unusual size attack!

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  2. Dear Lord, Christopher. Jigsaw's Lair reviewed this a couple of weeks ago, I believe. I knew there was something sinister about those little weiner dogs. So glad this film uncovered the truth! I know I couldn't stop laughing if I saw this one. Good review!

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  3. heh...instead of going with rats they probably should have just stuck with the dachshunds. Neighbours at out last place 30 years ago had 3 or 4 of the little mutts. Noisy grumpy things they were.

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