Monday, February 21, 2022

Noah's Shark, The Shark Sayeth the Lord

If you have never perused Genesis, you should.  Read it as the first book of the Bible...then read it in light of what you have read in the New Testament.  Avoid extra-biblical texts (diversions) and concentrate on what God wants you to know.  Then read it in the light of those extra-Biblical texts and find out about the shark that tormented Noah's family.  There are many reasons not to be distracted by extra-Biblical texts, 2021's "Noah's Shark" is one of those.  Directed by Mark Polonia, this film is so much fun.

Thousands of years ago, Noah's son Zadkiel (Kevin Coolidge) is fooled by a satanic creature, a shark who wants a ride on the ark.  Noah already has two sharks and doesn't want a third.  Zadkiel smuggles the demonic fish on board only to have Noah throw him off.  The shark eats Zadkiel and will torment humanity in the millenniums to come.  Fast forward to today, Father Benna (Jeff Kirkendall) is on the verge of having his reality show, Next Door Exorcism, cancelled.  Alan (Polonia), is his producer/cameraman who is always looking for new ideas.  The viewing public is skeptical of Benna's on-air exorcisms...damned doubters! 

Benna's buddy Buster (Ryan Dalton) brings Benna a possessed plank taken during an expedition to Noah's ark.  Now Benna is convinced to trek to the ark, high on Mount Ararat, and find the ark.  The priest has visions of the demon shark, controlled by the Witch of Endor.  Buster enlists a feisty mercenary babe, Jed (Jamie Morgan).  With her machine gun, she leads the party through Iran on the way up the mountain ...don't ask.  Now the evil Witch of Endor and the demonic shark are set on destroying the expedition and spreading their evil throughout the globe.  Gritty reality...especially if you are bent on extra-Biblical texts, like the Book of Zadkiel.

Will Father Benna and his party make it up Mount Ararat without being eaten by the shark?  Are Great White sharks the reason why the Ark of the Covenant has yet to be found?  Will the Polonia Brothers tackle the 10 Commandments, next?  For a great film to discuss in your next Bible study, delve into "Noah's Shark."   


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