Saturday, October 2, 2021

Turbines, Windmills and Hammers...Really Big Hammers

Okay...all you environmentalists preaching to us about wind power...here it is.  The definitive movie about wind power.  Windmills and their soft comforting whir...they get into our psyche and make us all homicidal lunatics.  We have a good one today...it begins as a slow burn.  Don't believe it.  You'll think it'll have a small death count, no gore, and leave us with an uneasy feeling.  Wrong!  Everyone dies horribly.  The death count will be massive!  Don't fall in love with any of the Australian babes in this film...they'll be mangled and crushed in seconds.  Today we look at 2019's Aussie horror film "Turbines," directed by Shane Borza and Igor Breakenback.

Attila (Breakenback) and his hot wife Jana (Bianca Bradey) arrive in Australia...immigrants from central Europe.  Australia has a program where immigrants are invited in, given jobs, settled in low population areas, and promised citizenship.  Attila's job is to carry a hammer and join Sean (Warren Coulton) in maintaining the grounds around wind turbines.  Easy?  Yep.  Too easy.  Jana is pretty useless but is really good looking and gives Attila some nice marital sex.  Uh oh...the turbines.  They just keep whirring.  As the things work silently, Sean and Attila begin holding their big hammers tighter.  Uh oh again, three babes and one hunk wander into the wilderness to study wind turbines effect on the moods and behaviors of locals.  

As Attila begins a family with Jana, he becomes more distant from her and closer to his...hammer.  Then it happens.  Attila goes stark raving mad.  Those babe college kids...well, they won't have a chance.  That hunk college kid...please!  Attila and his hammer make their way through Australia like crap through a goose.  Cops...doctors...nymphomaniacs...lesbians...local yokels...or, the heart of Australia...all die horribly.  Attila is a man on a mission...but is he alone?

Will the lovely Jana be felled by her husband's hammer?  Is this film a metaphor for the current state of Australia as even the most well-intentioned programs seems to be carrying a once great nation down the drain?  Can the aborigines shed some light on the vicious wrath of the wind gods?  You'll think you are watching a slow burn...so stick with this.  The slow burn will burn out and an orgy of murder and madness will carry the bulk of this film.  For a compelling tale of 21st century Australia, see "Turbines."  

1 comment:

  1. The fear of wind until it blows you to craziness, nice review Chris.

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