Sunday, October 24, 2021

Shark Season, Bikini Babes vs. The Great White Shark

Okay...I'll say it...I loved the ending!  Before you disagree with me, just remember the ending to "Jaws" has been proven to be a bunch of hooey.  The rifle round fired by Brody cannot penetrate a SCUBA tank.  Besides...who would you rather see in a bikini, Richard Dreyfus or the nubile dolls in a film from The Asylum?  Today we look at 2020's "Shark Season," directed by Jared Cohn. Oh! Did I mention the ending! Wow! 

As our film begins a nubile bikini babe (Laura E. Hubbard) is torn to pieces by a Great White...such a shame.  No matter, nubile bikini babe (a nice blue bikini) Sarah (Paige McGarvin) is set to kayak to an outer Florida island with her ex-boyfriend, hunk Jason (Jack Pearson).  Uh oh...Jason brings his new flame, bikini babe (a yellow bikini) Meghan (Juliana Destefano) to apply Sarah's make-up.  Catfight coming?  Oh yeah, Sarah tells her dad (Michael Madsen) she is going out, but will end up going to a different island.  The great looking trio kayak an extra hour to reach a pile of rocks in the middle of nowhere in the Atlantic.  

The journey out is mighty nice as the trio befriend dolphins.  Then Jason is eaten by the toothy menace.  I give the two babes credit, neither seems too broken up by this.  Still, the gals make it to the rocks and soon realize the tide is rising and the rocks will be underwater in a few minutes.  Oh...Sarah's dad...useless! A jet skier tries to help...but he'll be shark food in a matter of seconds.  Now the two rivals...or former rivals...and their sexy bikinis must get back into the ocean and find safety.  The shark will be pesky and does not intend to let either beauty make it to another landmass.  Now Sarah and Meghan must discuss beauty and cosmetic secrets while trying to outsmart the ocean's greatest predator.  Perhaps this is a metaphor of women in today's Hollywood.

Will either bikini babe make it to the end credits uneaten?  Will there be a catfight and if so which bikini, the blue or the yellow, will be torn off?  Will Michael Madsen's character find relevance and get out of his kitchen and do something (you'll see)?  The cheese in this made for Syfy epic is quite nice and the ending!  Yes, you won't believe the ending!  Classic!  Herman Melville should have used it for Moby Dick.  See "Shark Season," and enjoy a gratuitous bikini/shark film.

1 comment:

  1. Great work , Dreyfus in pink 👙 might bring in a new generation of audience.