Monday, October 4, 2021

Monster Hunters, A Feminized Military Tries to Save Mankind

Our buddies at The Asylum have weighed in on what is happening to the U.S. military.  A once proud fighting force is now a PMS laden army in which the soldiers more resemble grouchy United Airlines flight attendants than any John Wayne character.  The last vestiges of the army that beat Hitler are now run by Tom Sizemore.  Today we will look at 2020's "Monster Hunters," (directed by Brendan Pertizzo) and wonder if the Taliban's victory was against a similar force.

A little known army unit is charged with the responsibility of keeping our planet safe from invading aliens and their flying saucers, the Alien Defense Unit (ADU).  The ADU is headed by Col. Mayweather (Sizemore) and his nubile assistant Sgt. Mora (Sharon Desiree).  Mora is a babe and looks great in uniform...but has no role in the movie other than a pretty face.  Okay, an alien prison ship crashes in California's wilderness springing a number of homicidal alien inmate monsters.  The ADU is on it!  Sargent Shepard (Anthony Jensen) leads the unit and is pretty incompetent.  So incompetent that Col. Mayweather sends a bunch of PMS laden army babes to staff the unit...including his replacement, Specialist Stella Fairchild (Connie Jo Sechrist).

The aliens go through the ADU and California's inhabitants like crap through a goose.  Stella wants to communicate with them but this plan quickly goes down the toilet.  Then Bob (Mark Valeriano)...just Bob...rigs some alien like weapons and this kind of evens the score.  The PMS laden soldiers get eaten one by one (literally, know).  Now the geek rank, just Bob...and Stella try to go save Shepherd from an attack.  Stella is armed with...a laptop...don't ask.  As more female soldiers grunt and die, Stella, Bob, and a pesky Shepherd turn the tables on the homicidal and huge aliens.

Will Tom Sizemore get to have pre-marital sex with the nubile Sgt. Mora?  Will the nubile Sgt.Mora rather get eaten (literally) by inmate aliens?  Will Stella's laptop be able to save Shepherd from the hordes of aliens bent on killing him?  Hopefully the Russians and Chinese won't see this film...for if they do...well, we'll be speaking their languages soon.  For some great Syfy (The Asylum) fun, see "Monster Hunters."   

1 comment:

  1. Looks a bit more interesting than the Netflix version, alien eats soldier, soldier becomes zombie, and eats other soldier,that's the story line.