Saturday, April 17, 2021

Slayer, Jungle Vampires

We all remember Jennifer O'Dell from "The Lost World." Hot blonde, usually sweating, prancing around in an animal skin bikini, finding danger and mutants in the jungle. Well get this...Jennifer O'Dell as a sweaty blonde beauty, traipsing through the jungle, being lusted after by a vampire tribe.  I admit, the film is subpar, but seeing Jennifer O'Dell sweat in the jungle, sometimes in states of undress...well, that redeems this film. Oh yeah...Lynda Carter looking good as an army colonel carrying a gun that shoots miniature wooden stakes...priceless. Today we look at 2006's "Slayer," directed by Kevin VanHook.

A secret army platoon (probably CIA) is doing maneuvers in the Amazon (probably looking for weapons of mass destruction). Hawk (Casper Van Dien) leads his men into an ambush where many are killed by jungle vampires.  Back in the states, Lynda Carter, his Colonel, is suspicious of his claims, but sends Hawk and his team back.  Meanwhile the jungle vampires which include the sultry and sweaty vamp Estrella (Joyce Giraud) keep marauding villages.  Hawk's new mission...I'm not sure, but it develops into a search for his ex-wife, the sultry scientist Laurie (O'Dell). After a nice cat-fight with Estrella the vamp, Laurie catches the eye of vampire king Javier (Tony Plana). He seeks her for a bride...who wouldn't? Laurie will sweat a lot and give us a nice underwear scene.

Hawk and his men return to the jungle. Native, Montegna (Danny Trejo), guides them upriver. Along the way Hawk's platoon finds the bloody remains of torn apart villagers. There will be a couple more cat-fights between Laurie and Estrella as Javier lures Hawk and his men to the vampire cave.  Laurie is prepped in a white gown suitable for a bride and Estrella is obviously jealous at her ability to accessorize. Now a climactic battle will be fought for the sweaty and sultry Laurie's affections...and for the direction of the free world.

This film, whatever its shortcomings, has Jennifer O'Dell in it looking really good...and sweating. Will Estrella learn fashionable accessorizing techniques from Laurie or will they just go on cat-fighting? Is this film a metaphor for all the useless CIA secret ops in countries where we should never be in the first place? Are there any female US Army officers who look as good as Lynda Carter does in this film? See "Slayer," and enjoy the sweaty sights.

1 comment:

  1. Great social commentary, leave it to the FBI, they get things done discretely, tipping another 'win over the people' weapon!