Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Bridge to Nowhere, Bad Behavior in New Zealand

Are all men in New Zealand wild beasts? Are all women in New Zealand sluts? In the most convicting film ever to come out of Kiwi-land, we may have the answers to these questions. Even in N.Z. hunks and babes run off to the wilderness for alcoholic beverage consumption, loud Rock music, skinny-dipping, and pre-marital sex. Yep...even in N.Z., those same hunks and babes are imperiled by the puritanical menaces of that land. Hence 1986's "Bridge to Nowhere," directed by Ian Mune.
17 year old (just what is the statutory rape age in N.Z.) Tanya (Margaret Umbers) looks forward to her camping trip so she can have pre-marital sex with her beau, Leon (Phillip Gordon). Leon looks forward to this trip so he can beat, humiliate, and rape Tanya...oh those Kiwis! Uh oh, Tanya's dad makes them take Tanya's stiff brother Carl (Matthew Hunter) with them. Tanya is quite the vixen, she has no pretension about stripping, skinny-dipping, and pre-marital sex as her brother watches...oh those Kiwis! Okay, also along is the sultry Julie (Shelly Luxford) and Gray (Stephen Todd). Leon shows anti-social behavior from the get go and the quintet will immediately find a pond for the aforementioned skinny-dipping, however awkward it may be for the straight-laced Carl.
As soon as these kids get to the wilderness they begin to annoy a hermit, Mac (Bruno Lawrence). Mac has a nubile gal (which may be his daughter), Lise (Alison Routledge). Lise likes sex, especially when others watch. Her eyes seduce Leon, and Leon turns all beast as he molests and rapes Tanya...who still wants him to love her...oh those Kiwis! As Leon gets too close to Lise one night he incurs Mac's wrath and bloodshed ensues. Now the four surviving...yep, bye-bye Leon...are running for their lives in unfamiliar wilderness. Mac realizes witnesses are inconvenient and sets out to make sure none of the teens survive. His plan is a bit more complicated than just shooting them. As the cold, and lack of food begin to ware on the four survivors, they begin to get a bit wild themselves and decide to go on offense. Mac knows the wilderness and he wants Lise for himself...though Lise may have something to say about that...oh those Kiwis!
Do the four teens have a shot at surviving the unfamiliar wilderness and the psycho hermit and his nymphomaniac gal? What will starvation and exposure do to the psyches of these teens? Is this film a thinly veiled message to Australia that Kiwis have a sadistic streak and will soon invade and conquer their neighbors to the west? This is a deviant and brutal film which contains some twists and a lot of cruelty. For an in depth study of the ethos of  New Zealand, see "Bridge to Nowhere."

1 comment:

  1. What do Kiwis call Australia? Yep, the West Island. Nice piss take on the kiwis, loved it. They are a brutish race. Shame there were no Marois in the movie, they are funny and a warrior class.