Monday, June 17, 2019

Alone in the Dark II, Witch vs. Natassia Malthe

The witch sad. Good news in this Uwe Boll production is that Natassia Malthe and Michael Pare are in it. Bad news, they will be torn apart before the opening credits by an evil hag. The only other appearance by Ms. Malthe after the credits is when her mangled body is shown on a slab in the morgue. Not really a sequel, 2008's "Alone in the Dark II" still features the same protagonist, albeit played by a different actor.
As a result of the above mentioned massacre, Edward (Rick Yune) is stabbed by a cursed dagger. He'll live but his soul must fight against being taken over by the above mentioned witch. He'll almost die until a group of ill-prepared paranormal investigators take him in. Natalie (Rachel Specter) kinda likes him and with Natassia Malthe ripped apart, maybe she has a chance with him. Enter Abner (Lance Henriksen)...a paranormal doctor...he injects Edward with a masking solution making him temporarily invisible to the witch. The witch strikes and wipes out a lot of the paranormal group including Danny Trejo...yes Danny Trejo...he's in this.
As the witch focuses on Edward's soul, she also makes a play for Natalie's soul. The hunk Edward and the good looking, though not as sultry as Natassia Malthe, Natalie then figure they need to take the fight to the evil hag. Defeating the hag won't be easy as she is magic and cunning, and Edward will have to get really close to her/it. Uh oh...Natalie isn't a mere random babe on the hag's radar. As Natalie's relationship to the hag is revealed, Edward realizes he must succeed in his quest if he ever wants to have pre-marital sex with the not-as-sultry-as-Natassia-Malthe-babe Natalie.
Will Edward succeed in murdering the evil hag? Just why does the not-as-sultry-as-Natassia-Malthe-babe Natalie become the witch's priority? Could this film be remade with Natassia Malthe coming back as a good-witch to have a cat-fight with the evil witch? I guess that would be silly. For some witch and dagger fun, see "Alone in the Dark II." Oh...BTW...P.J. Soles is also in this.


  1. Not to sound superficial,wouldn't it be great to see a movie with you're average joe blows like michael moore and regular visitor's of wendy franchises, all in all, enchanting, blows Potter hocus crapus out of water!!

  2. Nice article as well as whole site.Thanks.