Friday, June 21, 2019

Alien Incursion, Toothy Creatures vs. Sultry Ranger

Ranger Kelly (Kiara Hunter)! She's perky, blonde, and bad a**. Characters like these usually are saved for comic books, but today we will see her fire a lot of guns, go to war with an elite military team and alien creatures, all while trying to keep some beautiful, but ill-equipped, campers alive. Not all will live and some of the beautiful will die horribly. The clowns at IMDB rated this a 1.6 out of 10...what fools! 2006's "Alien Incursion" is a terrific scifi/horror film.
A meteor takes out a camper, wounding another. The dead camper is the lucky one as black-worm like parasites infest the survivor. The parasites nest and a toothy creature explodes out of the former survivor. Enter three hunk campers...their day just got temporarily better as Ranger Kelly and three babe campers arrive. Soon the Ranger and amorous campers realize alien creatures abound as they find bloody remains all around them. Uh oh, one of the hunks gets infested with parasite worms and will swap spit (and parasites) with babe camper Sam (Samantha McLeod). Now Sam is infested.
As Ranger Kelly and the campers build a campsite an elite military unit of alien hunters arrive. Commanded by an evil soldier (John Sampson), the team shoots Sam as an alien explodes out of her and pummel the snot out of Ranger Kelly. Now the soldiers have taken the campers hostage with the intention of killing them...they know too much. But wait...Harry (Ken Roberts) arrives. He is a survivalist who has been fighting Bigfoot and other creatures for decades...and he's Ranger Kelly's estranged dad. He helps the campers escape and now they are all on the run from the military...and alien creatures. Alien-exploding-out-stomach-gore, torture, gunfights, and alien feasting-on-human-action follow.
At times this is a heartbreaking film in which some sultry campers die horribly, but will the nubile Ranger Kelly survive? Two of the campers (Grayson Hosie and Holly Elissa) will fall in love, but will the creatures allow these potential lovers to consummate their relationship with pre-marital sex? Is the elite military alien hunting unit an accurate portrayal of how covert assassination teams (run by the CIA) operate inside the America? Okay, my conspiracy theorist followers are a powerful bloc...I must cater to them. The perky and beautiful Ranger Kelly will figure prominently in one of the best endings in movie history, so ignore IMDB and take in "Alien Incursion," directed by Jeffery Scott Lando.

1 comment:

  1. Meteorites seeding earth, I like the metaphor. Hang on, we didn't get it right the first time, here's some breeding parasites for good measure.