Phoenix the Warrior, Cat-Fights in an Apocalyptic Wasteland

Today we revisit one of the best film settings in movie history...the apocalyptic wasteland.  Nothing says 1980s cheese better than this location. Even better, in this particular apocalyptic wasteland all men are dead, only a few women have survived and they all look like they are from NFL cheerleading squads. The women are practically naked and like to fight and murder each other. Scantily clad and very sweaty, the beauties in this film engage in a vicious war where gratuitous cat-fighting will rule the day.

Okay, Keela (Peggy McIntaggart) is with child (don't ask). Because of this she has escaped a city ruled by The Reverend Mother (Sheila Howard), an ugly cyborg thing who needs the child to become master of the universe or something (don't ask). Cobalt (Persis Khambatta) is charged with finding Keela, but Phoenix (Kathleen Kinmont) rescues her and flees the city. Bad news, Cobalt's scantily clad army of sweaty babes massacres Phoenix' scantily clad army of sweaty babes, and now Keela, Phoenix, and Keela's son are on the run.

Five years pass and Keela's son is still pursued by Cobalt. Of course, our two leggy blondes need supplies and must sneak back into Reverend Mother's city. Phoenix will be captured as she doesn't blend well...besides, every woman in the city wants sex with her...before murdering her. Keela is still on the loose, but without Phoenix...not very competent. Phoenix does escape until a group of disfigured mutants catch her, Keela, and the son. Our blondes are then strung up for sacrifice and Cobalt rides off with the son. Oh yeah...I forgot to mention the only man (James Emery)...actually he's not worth mentioning. The babes must escape the mutants and return to the city for a lot of cat-fights, free Keela's son, and kill Reverend Mother.

Can our duo of tanned blonde babes pull off a rescue mission, kill the monster Reverend Mother, and repopulate the planet with at least a few men? Is it wise to reintroduce the male species onto the planet Earth (a good question to ponder in the Feminine Studies Departments at Ivy League institutions)? Is the proclivity to engage in cat-fights to the death a poor omen for a planet now destined to be ruled by women, or just plain gratuitous fun? "Phoenix the Warrior" is one of the best films that relies on cat-fights as a main plot device you will ever see...not that you like these kind of movies...