Head of the Family, Dysfunctional Quadruplets

Demented and deviant quadruplets! Now there's a plot device. Hardly material for a reality show on TLC, but good stuff for a film on this blog. A Charles Band film, too! 1996's "Head of the Family" is our selection today. Gore, nudity, lunatics, and human experimentation converge to give us a story that will warm our hearts during the holiday season.

Our deviant quadruplets are as follows...Ernestina (Alexandria Quinn), the sultry and full figured babe...Otis (Bob Schott), with superhuman strength...Wheeler (James Jones), big eyes, and Myron (J.W. Pratt), the brains. Myron, incidentally, has a huge head (maybe five feet tall) and a miniscule body. Myron desires world domination and experiments on the brains of poor schmucks his siblings kidnap. He is also telepathically connected to his siblings. Enter a low-level criminal organization. Lance (Blake Adams) is having lots of gratuitous sex with Loretta (Jacqueline Lovell). Loretta's hubby leads the gang and Lance and Loretta look for an opportunity to off him. Then boom! Lance witnesses the quadruplets kidnap a poor schmuck and Lance decides to blackmail them.

Lance tells Myron he will keep his kidnappings quiet if Myron agrees to have his siblings murder Loretta's husband. This occurs (or kind of occurs), and Myron is upset to find out Lance also wants weekly hush money. Now the huge head waits for an opportunity to turn the situation around. With some seduction by Ernestina, and brute force by Otis, the very pretty and often nude Loretta is abducted along with Lance. Now Myron has the upper hand and his plans for Loretta are monstrous and Lance will be made to watch the demise of his lover. Lance will have to think fast and Loretta will use all her womanly charm and talent for seduction to escape her predicament. As Loretta, Lance, and Myron engage in a cerebral game of cat and mouse, one would imagine the big head guy would have the advantage.

Will Loretta's nudity and redneck seduction techniques earn her a reprieve from the awful fate Myron has in store for her? Will Lance figure out a way to save himself, or perhaps save Loretta too before Myron experiments on his brain? Will the quadruplets actually enact their plan for world domination, or will the test-subjects locked in the basement have something to say about that? Gritty reality rules the day in this film and if trailer park seduction is your thing, this movie will also send you to the showers. For some great Charles Band cinema, see "Head of the Family."