Saturday, March 2, 2024

St. Patrick's Day: The Sluagh Awakens, Folk Horror Irish Style

We have it!  A Saint Patrick's Day movie for the second half of the double feature with "The Quiet Man." Sure, the old John Wayne film had Maureen O'Hara...what a babe.  But our feature today has gratuitous nudity, blood soaked nude babes, virgin babes in much peril, and a lot of pints downed at pubs.  It'll be bloody, babes will suffer, demons will inflict carnage, and through it all...the Irish among us will celebrate with Guinness and Bailey's.  Today we look at 2022's "St. Patrick's Day:  The Sluagh Awakens," directed by Eddie Lengyel. 

Collin (Roger Connors) and his wife ignore the advice of Jack (Don Kilrain), an Irish barkeep, and take a night stroll into the woods under the Hell Moon...or Were-Moon...or something like that. Yep...a vicious demon attacks and rips apart Collin's beautiful wife.  Seven years later, an Irish festival occurs in this town.  Jack is happy, drunk, and drinking Guinness and smoking Irish weed.  His idiot nephew, Pierce (Tim Hale) comes to town with his sultry non-virgin GF, Tara (Quinn L' Esperance) and her sister, the virgin Liv (Morgan Paige).  The virgin has great cleavage and her sister hates her for it. Also coming to town is Collin.  Collin desires to seek out the demon that murdered his wife.  He'll bang an Irish whore and then arm up.

The demons converge on the town.  Uh oh!  They want a virgin.  The head demon has a cast of hundreds fighting for her. Brutality will take place as the demons kill most of the town and convert them into junior demons.  Heather (Jenny Boswell), a babe waitress...also a virgin...will join Jack and Collin in fighting the demon scourge.  The demons have the upper hand as they have entranced the virgin Liv and seek to sacrifice her under the weird moon.  Now more carnage, nudity, and gore will be thrown at us.  Many of the beautiful will die horribly, but our team will do their best to preserve Liv's virginity and rid the woods of this Irish demon.

Will Liv's virginity be preserved?  Could this have all been prevented if Jack or Pierce...or Collin, de-virginized her midway through the film?  Will Tara and Liv engage in a catfight as Tara continues her jealous tirades when the demons don't want to sacrifice her?  To understand Ireland and the Irish people, you must see "St. Patrick's Day:  The Sluagh Awakens."  Sit down with a few pints and some corned beef and enjoy a bloody horror film with a lot of nudity.  

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