Saturday, May 20, 2017

Blood Voyage, Insanity, Nudity, Drugs and a Meat Cleaver

In a great companion piece to the hit 1970s TV show "The Love Boat," we have 1976's "Blood Voyage." If the sickeningly sweet conclusions of that sappy TV show have you down, today's film will get you back on an even keel.  Lots of blood, nudity, vicious murders, and drug use are rampant throughout this chronicle of an unfortunate cruise from California to Hawaii.  Oh yeah, did I mention nudity.  Naked and nubile babes seems to be an obsession of this film.
Before the killing starts
Naked Carol (Mara Modair) is yapping with her stepdad on the phone while having pre-marital sex with a soon to be butchered deck hand, as the story begins. Her stepdad, the psychologist Jules (John Hart) will marry a young skank, the nude Jill (Laurie Rose) in Hawaii and demands Carol come along for the wedding.  Oh yeah...who else should we bring to a wedding? Right! How about a psycho-nympho pyromaniac addict! What could go wrong. The nude Amy (Midori) fills that bill.  Anyone else?  Well, weddings should be special. Enter the psycho Vietnam vet who still has flashbacks about murdering Vietnamese villagers. This would be Andy (Jonathan Lippe). When Andy gets to the boat he has pre-marital sex with Carol, and soon afterwards, the aforementioned deckhand is butchered.
Rare shot of a clothed Jill
The cruise begins. A meat cleaver wielding maniac begins his carnage.  Crew members are the first to go.  Suspects?  Everyone.  Andy is psycho and Carol has expressed a desire to murder her dad. Amy? No...why would we suspect a heroine addict who is also a pyromaniac and nymphomaniac?  Soon the murders reach the above noted cast, and the naked and beautiful become the naked and the dead. As Jill, Carol, and Amy prance around in bikinis...or totally nude...the guys are able to enjoy lots of pre-marital sex and drugs. The death count will be high, and blood will flow generously.  Just who is the killer, and will any non-maniac be alive as the end credits roll.
Rare shot of a clothed Amy
Will the nude Carol, the nude Amy, and the nude Jill put on some clothes as the killings intensify? Would we have enjoyed "The Love Boat" more if either Doc, Isaac, or Julie were done in by a meat cleaver?  Just where does a nude damsel hide a meat cleaver? Fast-paced and violent with gratuitous scenes aplenty, "Blood Voyage" will definitely float your boat.  For added viewing pleasure, watch this one nude.


  1. This is not your mother's Love Boat! I like how everyone is confident enough to wield butcher's knives & sharp implements while their junk is out. Now it's a party! Killing was so easy back then. Great review, Christopher.

  2. This had me on the edge of my seat because it was so chaotic. Loved it, great review

  3. Great review. Somehow I've missed this one. Now I know what I'll be doing tonight. Thanks, as usual!