Today we look at ABC's Friday Night Movie from February 3, 1978. Okay, Jo Ann Harris! The most beautiful actress of the 1970s we never talk about. Overshadowed by the Charlie's Angels babes, Ms. Harris will factor huge, often in a bikini, in our feature today. Our feature today? An Aaron Spelling TV spectacular. Listen to these names, along with Jo Ann Harris. Dirk Benedict! John Forsythe! Christopher and Lynda Day George! Lee Meriwether! Ray Milland! Stella Stevens! Roger E. Mosely! Hugh O'Brien! Hilarie Thompson! Did I mention Jo Ann Harris in a bikini? Throw in Satan and a shipwreck, and we have "Cruise Into terror," directed by Bruce Kessler.
Captain Andy (O'Brien) is ordered by the shipping company boss to carry eight passengers to Cozumel, Mexico so they can get on a luxury cruise ship. Minutes later the boss is killed in a forklift accident. Hesitantly Andy welcomes them aboard and sets sail across the Gulf of America to Mexico. On board is Andy's First officer Simon (Benedict), Neal and Sandra (Christopher and Lynda Day George), party girl Judy (Harris), her bookwormish buddy Debbie (Thompson), the professor (Milland), the math guy Matt (Frank Converse), the witch Marilyn (Stevens) , The reverend (Forsyth) and his spinster wife Lil (Meriwether). And more! Yep, the Professor is going to Cozumel to find the ancient Egyptian tomb of the son of Satan. The Egyptians wanted it buried on the other side of the Earth. Matt tells him the exact location is actually at the bottom of the Gulf of America and now the ship just happens to be over that spot.
Now weird stuff happens. Greed overtakes the passengers and spinster Lil turns into a demon-seductress and desires sex with everyone. Oh, Judy dons a bikini a lot in hopes of seducing Simon. Neal turns evil with greed and Sandra pleads with him to be himself again. Judy dons a bikini...did I mention that? The reverend is convinced the sarcophagus that divers have brought aboard the ship contains the second coming of Satan or something like that and seeks to destroy it. His wife, Lil, played by the former Miss America, sheds her spinster identity and has extra-marital sex with Matt the math guy. Captain Andy and Simon desperately try to fix the ship's engine before a storm rolls in. Evil permeates and Judy even attacks her buddy Debbie. The reverend now seeks to get Miss America back as he tries to destroy the sarcophagus. Neal and Matt seem possessed as they try to protect the son of Satan. Judy continues to look good, dressing in undies or wearing a bikini. Oh, Captain Andy will be seduced by Marilyn the witch and the two will engage in pre-marital sex.
Did anyone consider Jo Ann Harris to be in "Charlie's Angels"? Will the former Miss America continue extra-marital sex with guardians of Satan or return to her prudish husband? Will Satan make Jo Ann Harris and Lee Meriwether engage in a catfight on the Lido deck? This is a good one and all the stars in it have infinitely more appeal than the rubbish we have now. For a real movie with a real plot, and real stars, see "Cruise Into Terror," an Aaron Spelling Production.
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