Oh, my. So sultry she was in the 80s. "No Way Out," "Blade Runner," or "Wall Street." Sean Young was quite a dish. What happened? I think alcohol and bad decisions. So here in 2024 she plays Biden's Nat'l Security Advisor and she takes after that weirdo Richard Levine guy. Sean Young plays a guy and is scarier than the big apes and the Cthulhu tentacled thing. Her portrayal is a grim reminder of the idiocy of Biden appointees. No one is pining for the return of Richard Levine and no one is pining for Sean Young to make another movie. Harsh? Ha! See the movie. Our feature today is 2024's "Ape X Mecha Ape: New World Order," directed by Marc Gottlieb. This film is from The Asylum.
Abe, the 90-foot gorilla roams a Pacific island after the first film he was in, also from The Asylum. Let's keep this brief. A Cthulhu-tentacled creature comes up from the ocean, destroys a cruise ship, and heads over to Abe's island and beats him up. Okay, in Japan, Asian babe Rio (Jessica DeBonville) gets into the robot ape, the 200-foot-tall Mecha Ape and flies to America to beat up the Cthulhu. Nat'l Security Advisor Eva Lemuria (Young), dressed like a man...and pulling it off (kinda has that Gilbert Godfrey look) is mad at Japan. See, Eva is also a cult leader paving the way for "The Old One" to return and wipe out mankind. A perfect fit for the Biden Administration. Reporterette Naomi (Ashley Dakin) is mad 'cause her parents were on the aforementioned cruise ship. She and her hot assistant, Sara (Bix Krieger) rush to the scene where Abe and Mecha Ape will fight the Cthulhu. Uh oh, Sara realizes they lost a hubcap along the way. Really!
Okay, Abe is out of sorts and attacks Mecha Ape with the hot Japanese babe inside. Mecha Ape shoves Passion flowers in Abe's mouth and he's nice again. Eva yells at the Japanese prime minister who probably had to give a great effort to keep a straight face. In her business suit, Eva recites ancient incantations and does a bunch of useless things. The Asian babe Rio and her Mecha Ape is decimated by the Cthulhu but Rio, wounded, survives. Sara frets over the missing hubcap. Naomi, as with much of the DC press corps, is quite useless.
How easy is it to replace a hubcap on a rental car? Was Richard Levine really a compelling figure enough to want to base an ape movie around? Just who is "The Old One" and will he be able to help Sean Young get any ounce of her beauty back? This is one from The Asylum and for that we're grateful. For a good giant ape, without a Fay Wray-type babe, see "Ape X Mecha Ape: New World Order."
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