Dollman vs. Demonic Toys, Three Full Moon Features Converge

You have to love Full Moon Features and Charles Band.  Today we look at one that takes three of their films, "Dollman," "Demonic Toys," and "Bad Channels" and meshes them. Today's feature will give us a sultry cop and a sultry nurse, a rarity in today's films.  Throw in neat monsters, an evil baby, a big spider, laser fights, and gunfights.  Our film today is Charles Band's 1993 "Dollman vs. Demonic Toys." 

The sultry policewoman, in tight jeans and halter top, Judith (Tracy Scoggins) is back at the warehouse that houses demonic toys. They mock her and escape from her through the AC ventilation shafts. Now she seeks help and hunts out dollman, the foot tall cop from another world, Brick (Tim Thomerson). Brick? He's in search of the sultry Nurse Ginger (Melissa Behr), who was shrunk by aliens in "Bad Channels." She's a babe and Brick needs a dame. Judith finds both of them and convinces them to help her hunt the four remaining demonic toys (baby doll, GI Joe, a Jack-in-the-box head, and robot). Now the trio return to the warehouse and the evil toys are waiting.  War breaks out and the casualties will be heartbreaking.

The evil toys like to capture beautiful women, put them into a pentagram, and feast on their blood.  Thus, Ginger and Judith are prime targets.  Oh, yeah...the baby doll wants to mate with Ginger and have her birth the devil reincarnate...happens. Brick chases the evil things, engages in gunfights, and now must save Ginger from a fate worse than death.  Brick is right out of a Sam Spade Film Noir film. Ginger is right out of a nurse-ploitation film. Judith is the hottest detective you will ever see ("Cagney and Lacey" fans should just go watch a Meryl Streep film, instead). We need to see more Tracy Scoggins films!

Will the evil baby doll impregnate Judith with the devil's seed?  Will Judith survive the wrath of the evil toys a second time?  Will Brick save the dames and begin a beautiful relationship with the shrunken nurse?  This is a good one with great monsters, sultry babes, and a hard boiled alien cop.  See "Dollman vs. Demonic Toys" and enjoy some great cheese and beef with icky monsters.

Beast of War, World War 2 Great White Shark

From Australia, a Great White shark film. There's a country with some standing when it comes to this toothy menace. Combine it with being a World War 2 film and this is an extra bonus. We even get a real monster of a shark, a 20 footer!  Soldiers will be feasted on, limbs will be bitten off torsos, and Aussie army men will fight Japs, sharks, and their own personal demons.  Our feature today is 2025's "Beast of War," directed by Kiah Roache-Turner.

1942, in the rainy, muddy, jungle of northern Australia, recruits are going through boot camp. The youngsters are learning to be soldiers. There we meet Will (Joel Nankervis) and Leo (Mark Coles Smith). Will is a brain and does not seem to be cut out to be a soldier.  Leo is a hunk and seems very cut out to be a soldier. They'll bond and when boot camp is over, are sent on the same ship to fight the Japanese. Boom!  Japanese fighters sink the ship and most on the troops on the transport ship die and are eaten by sharks.  About seven or eight survive on a makeshift raft.  Some are wounded and their blood leaks into the sea. Now a 20-footer arrives. The Great White shark has a broken siren imbedded in its fin and when it approaches, a haunting sound is heard.

Rations are low and the men watch as Bobby (Tristan McKinnon) is eaten first, followed by Stan (Maximillian Johnson).  Now the men realize they have to do something other than just sit on their raft, which is stuck in a fog bank.  The shark is aggressive and when it is ready for another meal, it just rams the rickety raft. Remember Will the brainiac?  He starts using his head and comes up with some nice ideas for survival. He even spots a motorboat, but as luck would have it, it is several yards away from their raft.  If things could not get any worse...the Japanese come back to finish the job.

Can Will figure out a way to get to the motorboat?  Will the warrior Leo prove might and brawn is more important than brains in this situation? Is the big bad Great White a mere metaphor for the monster that is war and its desire to eat us all up, even if we survive?  Ask the Russians and Ukrainians that one.  For a gory, poignant, and terrifying big shark, see "Beast of War."  

The Hypnotic Eye, Beautiful Women Mutilate Themselves

Ever been hypnotized? You sure?  If you answered no, how can you be sure?  Maybe you are still hypnotized. If you are, you may all of a sudden bark like a dog, flap your arms like a bird...or take a straight razor to your face.  In today's motion picture, sultry dames, for no apparent reason, maim their faces with razors, or acid, or blades of a fan, or fire.  Let us look at 1960's "The Hypnotic Eye," directed by George Blair.  Warning...this is a shocking one and may cause you to turn your face away from the screen.

As our film begins, a sultry blonde is shampooing her hair when she suddenly sticks her head on the burner of her stove, lighting her whole head on fire. She is the 11th such victim, all sultry dames, all marring their faces. This latest one is the first one to die.  The first 10 can provide no clue as to why they did what they did. The hunk, Detective Dave Kennedy (Joe Patridge) is on the case. His buddy, police psychiatrist Dr. Phil Hecht (Guy Prescott) try to solve it. Wouldn't you know it, Dave has a date with the sultry Marcia (Marcia Henderson).  They are going to see a stage hypnotist with Marcia's nubile and sultry bestie, Dodie (Merry Enders). The trio enjoy The Great Desmond (Jacques Bergerac) as he puts on a fascinating hypnotism show. At the end, Dodie volunteers to be hypnotized. All seems fine until Dodie goes home and washes her face with sulphuric acid. Now her face is hideous. Marcia thinks Desmond did it...at least his hypnotic powers did it.

Okay, Marcia plays detective and returns the next night. By the way, Desmond has a sultry assistant, Justine (Allison Hayes). She is the definition of the word sultry, you'll see.  Marcia agrees to be hypnotized and believes she fakes her way through it. But does she? Now she accepts a date with Desmond as Dave and Phil follow. Marcia will then have Justine waiting for her at her apartment. Justine has plans for Marcia but Dave arrives and chases her away. Desmond and Phil then put their heads together as Marcia, entranced, is no longer any help...and soon may not be beautiful, anymore.

Why are sultry dames having their faces horribly mutilated?  Will Marcia be the latest victim?  Just where does Justine fit into all of this?  This is a graphic and vicious horror film and to see what happens to these beauties is difficult to watch. We gasp as Marcia seems to be heading into mutilation and torment.  For a horror film with great cheesecake (though most of the cheesecake will turn to toast), and an exotic hunk hypnotist, see "The Hypnotic Eye," and beware...you just may be hypnotized as the end credits roll.

The Mutations, Plants vs. Babes

This is one of those creepy and icky ones that will give you nightmares.  You will wince when you see what happens to the most beautiful dames in London. A mad scientist, some circus freaks, and nubile babes is never a good combination...especially for the nubile babes.  Man eating plants!  Laboratory mutations!  The horrific marring the beautiful!  Horrific indeed.  Our feature today is 1974's "The Mutations," directed by Jack Cardiff.

Dr. Nolter (Donald Pleasance) is our mad scientist.  He has figured out a way to speed up evolution. He has also figured out a way to mix human and plant DNA to create a man-plant. Nolter hires circus freaks who hunt down and capture Euro-babe Bridget (Olga Anthony). The sultry redhead will be stripped and pawed by freak Lynch (Tom Baker) and given to Nolter. In Nolter's lab, the helpless and nude redhead will be zapped with the scientist's new ray gun and turn into a hideous lizard-woman. Sad. Her buddies worry about her.  Her buddies Lauren (Jill Haworth) and Tony (Scott Antony) get aggressive in looking for her. The fate of these two when they come up against the circus freaks will be sad.  Especially for Tony who becomes a plant-man who feeds on people.

American scientist Brian (Brad Harris) arrives and romances Lauren and Tony's friend Hedi (Julie Ege). Hedi takes a gratuitous bath and while all wet and nude, a creature comes to get her.  Now Brian must race against time, circus freaks, and a mad scientist to prevent the nude and helpless Swedish babe from getting turned into a hideous green mutation.  Meanwhile the circus freaks decide to inflict their own brand of justice...you'll see.

Will the nubile Swedish beauty, Hedi, be able to keep her beauty or become a vegetable?  Just what fate did fell the lovely Lauren?  Will the circus freaks be able to have their way with the nubile babes?  This is a hard one to watch. The fate of the babes will make you shiver.  The plant creatures are icky and terrifying.  For a great monster/mad scientist/Euro-trash film with nubile babes, often naked and wet, see "The Mutations."

Project Ithaca, A Slimy Bio-Mechanized Tentacled Monster

"Project Ithaca" may be the worst name for a film this century. A better name for this one would be "The Slimy Tentacled Bio-Mechanized Creature Goes Berserk." See, that has a ring to it. Don't listen to me though, go ahead, go with "Project Ithaca."  See how many people actually watch your film. Well, because we have a slimy tentacled bio-mechanized creature, we do at least have a worthwhile film.  Our feature today is 2019's "Project Ithaca," directed by Nicholas Humphries.

Okay, we begin at a top secret mountain laboratory, focusing on ETs and UFO contact.  A little girl Sera (Deragh Campbell) seems to have a psychic connection to an alien intelligence. The kind and benign John (James Gallanders) oversees the project and watches out for Sera as his higher-ups see her as a potential weapon for the defense department. We'll skip the backstory, though it is fascinating and telling. Sera goes missing...and a week later, so does John. Yep, they are pulled into an alien ship with a half dozen other unrelated schmucks.  They are all secured by slimy tentacles that get tighter when they struggle.  Here are a couple of kickers, as they say.  The peeps are from different times in history.  Also, the spaceship seems to fuel itself on their fear, thus the tentacled creature appears and scares them.

Now the poor schmucks need to work together to survive and escape. There is Zack (Alex Woods) a rock star.  There is Perry (Daniel Fathers) a hardened convict. Rhonda (Konima Parkinson-Jones), a teacher.  Then there is Alex (Caroline Raynaud), a heroin whore. Sera tries to guide all of them to survival and with Sera and John, we find out more about the creature, the ship, and its motive.  We find out that the ship is built on nano-technology and Sera is in the aliens plans for conquest and procreation. Now the creature must get more aggressive as it may not be in as much control as it would like to be.  However diminutive Sera might appear, she definitely spooks her captors, too.  Now the survival of John and the fellow captives, and maybe that of mankind, depends on Sera's ability to battle the tentacled menace and get her and her new buddies off the ship.

Does the alien force desire to conquer the Earth or take over human bodies?  Can John and Sera outsmart this thing?  Will any of the other captives be at all useful in repelling the menace from other worlds?  The strength of this film is the slimy tentacled creature that prides itself on inducing fear.  For some nice slimy, tentacled, bio-mechanized creature horror, see "Project Ithaca" and try to work around that awful title.    

Terror at Tenkiller, A Perfect 1980s Slasher Film

The gush of slasher films began waning in 1986.  The 80s were the Golden Era of slasher films, though most of the famous ones emanated from the earlier part of the decade.  Sadly, our feature today was an easy one to miss.  With a straight-to-VHS feel to it, it came out way before the straight-to-VHS craze prevalent in the 1990s.  All the great tropes that endear us to this slasher sub-genre are here.  Two nubile, often nude damsels in peril.  A moralistic slasher.  Immoral sultry dames looking for pre-marital sex and finding death, instead. A big knife.  An Indian legend...etc.  Our feature today is 1986's "Terror at Tenkiller," directed by Ken Meyer.

What a first few minutes! The pretty waitress Denise (Jill Holmes) is dragged into the woods by moralistic hunk Tor (Michael Shamus Wiles). He slits her throat and disposes of her body in the middle of the lake, just as he has done to several babes already. Next, the lovely blonde Leslie (Stacey Logan) swims in the pool at her college, climbs out all wet and sexy, heads up to the locker room for a gratuitous shower, and meets her bestie, the lovely Janna (Michele Merchant) in the locker room. Leslie is sad because the only BF she has had is getting abusive.  Josh (Kevin Meyer) is very possessive and is almost at the point of physical abuse to the nubile blonde. Janna convinces Leslie to go to Tenkiller Lake with her this summer for some recreation, safety away from Josh, and waitressing at a diner.  They go and both get jobs as waitresses at the diner where they meet the weird hunk Tor.

Debbie (Debbie Killian) is the current waitress at the diner and when she gets all dolled up for a date, Tor sees her. When Debbie gets home, Tor invades the hot tub she is in, and decimates her with a big knife. Tor is driven even more mad as he admires Leslie's beauty.  Leslie and Janna will have many nude scenes and gratuitous bikini scenes.  Now Tor's hormones are spiking as is his murderous libido. He'll kill more but we know that soon Janna and Leslie will have to deal with him.

Will Janna and or Leslie be skewered by the puritanical Tor?  Is Tor right, that all the hussies are asking for their fate?  Will Tor have pre-marital sex with them before or after killing them, and will they be nude or in bikinis when he attacks?  Okay, that last question was slightly gratuitous. For a moralistic and vicious slasher film from the 80s, see "Terror at Tenkiller."

The Last Breath, A Nordic Shark Film

We don't look to Belgium nor Sweden for our shark films. Nevertheless, we have one.  A good one.  A very good one. Gory and claustrophobic, this low-budget film does not look low-budget. Set in the British Virgin Islands, our sharks are vicious, big, and they will feast well.  Do not fact check this film as the ship in question may never have been anywhere near the Caribbean, but who cares...the US schools don't even teach history anymore (at least, true history). Our feature today is 2024's "The Last Breath," directed by Joachim Heden.  Of note, this was the last film made by Julian Sands.

Back in WW2, a U-Boat sinks the USS Charlotte in the Caribbean.  There are survivors but sharks eat them.  80 years later, two shipwreck hunters find the elusive ship.  Hunk Noah (Jack Parr) and his mentor Levi (Sands) have been looking for the wreck forever.  Now, after a hurricane shifts the sands, the boat is spotted 90% under those sands. Noah, back on the island meets up with old friends.  There is Wall Street rich guy Brett (Alexander Arnold), blonde babe Riley (Erin Mullen), dweeb Logan (Arlo Carter), and of more note, the babe Sam (Kim Spearman). Sam and Noah used to be lovers but Sam decided to go to New York and be a doctor as Noah decided to stay on the sea and hunt wrecks. Now the two look to rekindle. Uh oh, Levi is going to lose his boat as he owes creditors $36,000, but Brett offers to bail them out if they will take him and the gang on a dive of the Charlotte.  Hesitantly, Noah and Levi agree.

The five divers go down to the ocean floor and into the wreck. Noah is cautious but when the sharks come, it won't matter. Logan gets a chunk bitten out of his thigh and his GF Riley panics using up all her air.  Air pockets in the wreck are found but the crew is now lost inside the cavernous ship.  They do all they can to save Logan and Sam the doctor even finds a 1944 operating room with 80 year old anesthetics. You can imagine this won't go well as Logan's femoral artery is bitten through. Riley panics some more, and Brett is quick to blame Noah.  Sam falls more in love with Noah, though Brett is kind of right to blame him.  Oh, the shark?  More sharks arrive as the smell of blood is now intense.  Levi?  He can't dive anymore because of past injuries.  Air?  Running out too fast.

Will any in this cast survive?  Is there anything Levi can do for them from topside?  Will Noah fall as in love with Sam as Sam is with him?  Noah needs to stay brave and rational as all around him are either dying or panicking.  Self-sacrifice will rule the day and the sea creatures will eat well.  For a fantastic shark film from an unusual source, see "The Last Breath." 

 

Seclusion, Babe Shrink in Peril

I need to say this straight off...you may not like this one. Think of this film as Hallmark tries to make a thriller. Still, this one has some nice appeal. Dominique Swain is in it! Any movie she's in, I enjoy. Also, the psychiatrist in this film is quite a dish, and played by Nicky Whelan. With shrinks looking like her, I say 'bring on the mental illness!' Also, for a film called "Seclusion," Ms. Whelan is never alone in her perils. Let us look at 2025's "Seclusion," directed by Tom DeNucci. I should also point out, this director has made a lot of good movies.

Poor Madeline (Whelan). The sultry but capable shrink has almost cured psycho-David (Michael S. Messier, Jr.) when he leaps off the couch and strangles the babe. He's upset she does not love him...who wouldn't be? Now she needs seclusion to write her next bestseller.  Arriving in Rhode Island to her dad's (Fred Sullivan) beach house, she begins writing. Her loving sister Kelly (Swain) is happy to see her and she works for her dad fixing up the properties he owns. Madeline is now the sultriest dame in Rhode Island. Okay, that's not saying much, but trust me, she's a major league babe. The new book? Yep, she wants to show the world the perils of bi-polar disorder and with permission from her patient Heather (Amy Wade), she will put her therapy sessions with her in the book. Uh oh, Heather may be a real psycho...as Kelly points out.

While in Rhode Island, Madeline gets hot for a local guy, Tony (Michael Copon) who is all too eager to help her with stuff around the house. Then the weird stuff begins. An intruder at night puts Madeline on edge, to say the least. Also, Heather gets too curious about her during therapy sessions and shows up in town and at Kelly's birthday party. Madeline is mad and confronts the maybe-psycho Heather and this doesn't go well.  Heather is manipulative and seems adepts at controlling Madeline. Madeline, looking to attract the hunk Tony, dons a steamy red, slightly tight party gown, and emanates pheromones. Now we see a grand plot to ruin and probably murder Madeline is unfolding and she is powerless to detect it or stop it. 

The movie is flawed but on a damsel in peril level, this is a nice one. Ms. Whelan is uber-attractive and there are more than a few characters in this one who could be more psycho than Heather. Is it possible Heather, the psycho, is not the tormentor?  Is Madeline in danger from a psycho lesbian that wants her for her own?  This is my preference.  Or is Tony just too good and upset that she never paid any attention to him in high school?  For some great cheese and two great actresses looking so good, see "Seclusion."   

Snow White: A Deadly Summer, Maureen McCormick, Eric Roberts, and That Demon Gal

Marcia! Marcia! Marcia! Yep, Maureen McCormick is in this one.  So is Eric Roberts! Both have big roles, not just cameos. Also, remember the demon in "The Exorcist"? Pessuto or something like that? She's in it...Eileen Dietz!  Even better, Marcia Brady's character is named Eve! Yep, the lunatic has multiple personalities in this film. Of course, there are hunks and babes who play delinquent teens...most will be murdered by...well, you'll see. Our feature today is 2012's "Snow White: A Deadly Summer," directed by David DeCoteau. Please ignore IMDB's rating of this film (2.3/10).

Snow (Shanley Caswell) is Grant's (Roberts) daughter. She hates her new stepmother, Eve (McCormick). Early on we see Eve is suffering from multiple personality disorder. Eve wants Snow out of the way because she wants all of Grant's attention. Snow is caught in a stolen car and Eve arranges for her to be sent to a juvenile boot camp for rehabilitation. The camp is run by a former Navy SEAL, Hunter (Tim Abell). She gets there with seven others, all babes or hunks. Hunter is a hard-a** and punishes them through labor, jumping jacks, and sneers. Uh oh...legend has it, 25 years ago, a female camper was murdered at this camp by another camper. The murderer camper ran into the woods and has never been seen again.  

Snow has weird dreams/visions about past events of murders and future murders.  The ones she has about future murders manifest and slowly the group of eight diminishes. Snow starts liking a hunk camper named Cole (Chase Bennett), and her b****y female cohorts begin dying or just become missing. One of the campers is a pure-bred psychopath (Aaron Jaeger). What's more, Hunter seems to be hiding something and he makes sure dead bodies disappear without a trace.  Uh oh...a weird woman emerges from the woods (Dietz) with knowledge of what happened 25 years ago. Uh oh again, you will never guess who was a juvenile delinquent at the camp 25 years ago...or who else was. Now the killer has Snow in his or her sights...and has a big knife.

Just who is murdering the hunk and babe juvenile delinquents?  Is the fact that Marcia-Marcia-Marcia had Dual Identity Disorder make her a suspect?  Did Cole come on to Snow too quickly for him to be for real? This is a fun one with one of those endings that many will hate, but worry not, it is still a messed up ending. For some "Brady Bunch" meets "The Exorcist" fun, see "Snow White: A Deadly Summer."

The Cleansing Hour, An Exorcist Reality Show

A buddy of mine, who is in the industry, told me that there is nothing on reality shows that is...real! Everything is altered, scripted, or just made up out of the blue. Whether it is Mormon wives, or truckers driving on ice, or even gruff brutes on crab boats...don't believe it. So no surprise when a reality show featuring exorcisms every week is found to be a fraud...until its not.  Our feature today is 2019's "The Cleansing Hour," directed by Damien LeVeck.

Father Max  (Ryan Guzman) is a hunk priest...okay, he isn't really a priest but don't tell his subscribers. He is a self proclaimed exorcist who has an on-line show in which he exorcizes a different poor schmuck every week. The poor schmuck, of course, is an actor.  His buddy Drew (Kyle Gallner) is his director, and Drew's pretty GF Lane hangs around them. We see the exorcisms and they are well done.  Special f/x, weird lighting, and cheap carnival tricks makes them look real. The bad news, the show has plateaued as far as subscribers and views. Max, Drew, and the producer Tommy (Daniel Hoffmann) rack their brains on how to get to the next level. Riley (Emma Holzer) and the boom guy Chris (Chris Lew Kum Hoi) round out the cast. I know, we have all heard, you should not fool around with the subject of possession or exorcism...but Max and crew are making livings doing just that.

Uh oh...all goes to Hell (kind of literally). With the actor who was supposed to play the possessed murdered by demons, Lane is pressed into the role at the last minute. Lane is a fine actress but soon, she will not be acting.  A demon really possesses her and all Hell breaks out on set (literally). Her voice changes, objects go flying across the room, demons appear, and the 50,000 viewers will rise into the several millions of viewers level. Gore and body-horror ensue and poor Riley, she will be impaled in the back of the head with a prop on the set. Now Max is drawn into an exorcism with a real demon and he has no clue.  The demon has the upper hand and Max' only prayer is if can remember the stuff he faked over the previous episodes.

This ends up being an ambitious horror film that all of you who read Revelation at the same time as news headlines will love.  It'll get gory and weird.  Lane, the pretty girlfriend, will spend most of the film hideous and disgusting.  For some nice possession horror and some nice lampooning of reality shows, see "The Cleansing Hour."    

The Neanderthal Man, Pre-Historic Horrors for California Babes

Beverly Garland!  Her and Veronica Lake are my two favorite actresses from yesteryear. Today we look at a film that will be difficult to watch for all of us Beverly Garland fans. A horror film. Brutal. Misogynistic. Unmerciful. See, Ms. Garland plays Nola, a sultry but friendly waitress at a local diner in a small town in the High Sierras. She, to earn a few extra bucks, moonlights as a swimsuit model. While posing in a sultry swimsuit in the California mountains, she'll be chased down by a neanderthal man, dragged into a cave, and raped by that creature. Eek! Our feature today is 1953's "The Neanderthal Man," directed by E.A. DuPont.

Mad scientist, Prof. Groves (Robert Shayne) has created a serum that makes housecats into sabretooth tigers. The insaniac is upset that the scientific community laughs at him...and now he ploughs further into madness. After some local hunters are ripped to pieces by the pre-historic creature, a hunk scientist from the big city arrives to see what is going on. Dr. Ross Harkness sees the evidence and concludes the monster does exist. The townsfolk are upset as their cattle are being shredded. Poor waitress, Nola (Garland), her fate is described above and will cause us all to wince and shed a tear. Now, with the violation of a local bathing beauty, it is apparent that a monster lurks. Here comes the nubile Ruth (Doris Merrick)! She's a babe and engaged to the mad scientist...and she's way out of his league. Instead of being grateful, he goes madder...and keeps injecting himself.

Now Prof. Groves is a neanderthal man and also murdering...and raping. Ross finally figures this all out.  Uh oh, seems Prof. Groves has also injected other people. Groves dumps the nubile Ruth, but she still wants him. Nola is a mess. Now Groves' daughter Jan (Joyce Terry) figures out her dad is a mad scientist and a creature. All this is heading to a wild and gory ending in which sabretooth tigers are on the rampage and Professor Groves is also on the rampage, especially for beautiful dames.

Is the neanderthal man merely behaving like a California college fraternity hunk venturing to a neighboring sorority house?  How does Jan feel about her dad being engaged to a woman her same age? Will Ross get a clue and plant a big wet one on the unattached and nubile Jan? This is a vicious one for a 1950's B-Movie.  For some great cheese in peril, and a neat gorilla-man type monster, see "The Neanderthal Man."

Neverknock, Teens Shredded by Fear

Oh, those playful horror films when teens are shredded except for the virgin. We love that trope, but what if the monster is not familiar with that trope.  Today we have a brutal one with a lot of high school babes who will not stay babes.  A dark film that will stay dark, so be warned. With a great looking cast, a slimy monster, and tons of gore, impalements, and burning, a Syfy original is our feature today.  Let us look at 2017's "Neverknock," directed by Sheldon Wilson. 

Eliana Jones is a sultry actress and she is in this clad in a cheerleaders costume.  Uh oh, she is sixth in the credits meaning she will die a most gory death. Sadly she will be first to go...impaled by a myriad of needles...the monster did not like cheerleaders. So sad. Okay, legend has it if one knocks on the door of this old abandoned house on Halloween, the monster inside will pull you in and murder you.  The creature will kill you by what you fear the most.  For the lovely Grace (Dominique Provost-Chalkley) fire is her poison.  Her mom burned to death in a car wreck one year ago.  She is looking after her little fearless sister Jenna (Lola Flanery) when her new buddy, and potential lesbian lover, the lovely Leah (Jodelle Ferland) comes to get her to go trick-or-treating.  Along for the night is the sultry Amy (Kiana Madeira), the hunk Gavin (Varun Saranga), and the aforementioned cheerleader Sydney.

Jenna knocks on the door and the horror begins.  Yep, the sultry Sydney is impaled by needles.  She is the first.  Her mates have fears, too.  Bugs, fire, blood, etc.  Jenna, the little sister is not afraid of anything.  See where this is going?  You are part right.  When Jenna is taken by the house early on, Grace swears she will find her.  Leah, who wants to get into Grace's pants helps.  The others?  Monster bait!  They'll be hunted by their own fears.  So, the brave will prevail?  Nope.  The monster is loose on the town and lures the surviving babes back to it.  Then, what happens will be even more horrifying.

Will Leah and Grace survive and have a make-out session?  Will the fearless Jenna reemerge and slay the monster who kills with fear?  Was it a mistake to kill Sydney the cheerleader off so early, as she was the sultriest of the sultry in this one?  For those of you who like their horror films horrific and dark, see "Neverknock."     

Fear the Night, Maggie Q as Deadly as Ever

Many years removed from her Nikita role, Maggie Q still looks fabulous.  She can also kill just as competently as she did over a decade ago.  Now, there isn't anyone in this movie we like, which is good, because most will die horribly, but Maggie Q is Maggie Q, and that earns her our favor. As b#@$hy as she is in this one...she looks really good even without smiling and being generally grouchy.  In fact, in this one, her friends don't even like her...but, of course, they don't look like Maggie Q.  Our blood fest today is 2023's "Fear the Night," directed by Neil LaBute.

She's back from Iraq all messed up. Tess (Maggie Q) has PTSD, addictions, grouchiness, PMS, and generally a rotten demeanor. Even worse, she's headed to a bachelorette party for her giggly sister Rose (HighDee Kuan), put on by another grouchy and giggly sister Beth (Kat Foster). They will meet a half dozen giggly annoying girlfriends at their family homestead in the desert. Party games?  Cackling? A male stripper (KeiLyn Durrel)? Yep, all of the above.  Fortunately the beautiful but annoying Rose will get impaled by a crossbow arrow early on, and so will the stripper.  By who? A group of evil good ole boys led by Perry (Travis Hammer).  Why? Who cares.  Now the PTSD and depression and addiction ridden Tess is back in her element.  Back at war.  She turns back into a killer.

The war will be a bloody one as Tess tries to protect her sister Beth and their buddies from the evil invading force.  The death count will be high, and even though some of the victims are sultry dames, we're not sad to see them go.  Tess, on the other hand?  We are cheering for her, mostly because she is Maggie Q.  I even pulled for Maggie Q's Mia in that "Die Hard" film...the gal that got the SUV up the a**...remember?  The men with crossbows and knives are relentless, and so is Tess. Babes will fall in bloody fashion.  Brutes will fall in bloody fashion. All in all, this works as a bloody kill-fest...not as a character study, or morality tale.

Just how many will Tess kill?  Just how many cackling bachelorette party goers will be skewered?  Will Tess really snap and off some of the cacklng party-goers, too?  Maggie Q fans need to see this film, just turn it off before the annoying epilogue begins.  For a bloody good time, see "Fear the Night."  

The Murder Clinic, Euro-Babes Slashed

Giallo!  Euro-Trash!  Yep, gotta love those Italian slasher-fests with sultry babes, in states of undress, fresh from fits of passion, and in mortal peril.  What could be better?  How about if the slasher is a hideous freak of an old hag who resents beauty and relishes in mutilating Euro-babes just fresh from carnal passion!  Kind of a metaphor for woke America and its view of beauty.  Fortunately, here, wokeness is dying.  Our feature today is 1966's "The Murder Clinic," directed by Elio Scardamaglia and Lionello De Felice.

Sultry nurses, in states of undress, and fresh from carnal passion, are slashed by a hooded figure wielding a razor.  I should point out the setting...an asylum for the criminally insane.  The asylum is run by the handsome Dr. Robert Vance (William Berger). He lives there with his sultry wife, Lizabeth (Mary Young). A new nurse, to replace a slashed up one, arrives, the sultry blonde Mary (Barbara Wilson). She's gentle and caring. Uh oh...someone is living in a locked room in the attic. She paces at night driving the schizophrenic patients into a frenzy. Lizabeth is suspicious as Mary is quite beautiful and it looks like Robert and her are on the outs as far as their marriage goes. Uh oh...homicidal liar Gisele (Francoise Prevost) murders her carriage driver and is found wandering in the woods by Robert. He brings her back to the asylum as a guest. Lizabeth is not happy about having another floozy distracting Robert.

Okay, Gisele, smelling an opportunity for blackmail, sneaks into that forbidden room in the attic and finds a hideously marred woman (Delfi Mauro).  Laura is this woman and she is Lizabeth's sister...who fell into a lime pit long ago. Now Laura resents beauty. Gisele faints and is revived by Robert and she lets him know that his secret is safe with her for the sum of 50,000 pounds. Uh oh...Robert seems to be taking a liking to Nurse Mary.  Uh oh, the hooded figure in the cloak is on the prowl with his or her razor.  Uh oh, the beautiful keep being ripped apart.  Uh oh...Giselle wants Robert and knows Mary may emerge as a rival.  Uh oh, a few criminally insane insaniacs escape from their cells.

Will Mary remain in one piece by the time the end credits roll?  Just what is Laura's backstory and is she as homicidal as she is hideous?  Will any nubile nurse survive the razor?  This is a good one with a shocking ending.  For some fine European cheesecake, and nubile babes in great peril, see "The Murder Clinic." 

The Correction Unit, A Clockwork Orange in an AI World

AI.  Good or bad?  The answer is...Yes! It may help cure all sorts of pediatric cancer.  It may allow you affordable college education from any university in the world (all from your own living room). It may easily identify your Golden Retriever's ailment. It, also, may make the distribution and creation of child porn a lot easier.  It will help your government (aka Big Brother) to control your bank accounts and spending habits. It may also replace your need for a woman, or a man, and provide you something that won't talk back or report you for sexual harassment.  All will be done under the guise of making our world a better place.  Our feature today is 2025's "The Correction Unit," directed by Derry Shillitto.  This film is from the U.K.

Miserable teenagers...juvenile delinquents.  All of the ones in this film are hopeless cases, and chronic offenders.  Gangsters. Drug pushers and addicts. Thieves. Now a bunch of them have been transferred from a youth prison to a special facility called nTrac.  nTrac? Yep, AI will be used to rehab all of these kids in three months.  Three months? Yep, that is what the government contract calls for. We meet Shawn (Sonny Middleton), who is from a bad neighborhood and had to fight to protect his disabled mom and worthless brother. Now he's at nTrac.  His mate, the tough Tish (Elleese Bradshaw) is there with him and is associated with numerous pushers. Through Virtual Reality (VR) and AI, they all have been assessed, evaluated, and a treatment plan has been personalized. Yvonne (Kirsty Smedley) seems to head the operation and her motives are pure and personal. 

Some neat meditation devices allow the kids to experience nature and pleasant surroundings. Uh oh.  The engineers on this project are worried.  They are forbidden access to the inmates/patients.  AI is the only counselor/doctor allowed to work on the teens. Short term success can't be denied...short term. The kids seem to be responding, for the most part.  Now, how to make it permanent.  Clones, mind control chips (think Elon Musk's Trans-humanism), and certain punishment.  Now the kids are being turned into something other than who they were. Also, nTrac needs to show results in 90 days, and if the kids aren't improving that fast...well, the technicians are told to rush it. Yvonne offers objections and she is taken care of.

Just what will nTrac produce after 90 days?  Will the teens in the program keep their humanity?  If an AI machine is given total control, what will it consider "cured" or "improved"?  We saw this in "A Clockwork Orange," but that did not have the use of AI.  The subliminal tactics are present in both these films, though modern AI has made them easier to deliver.  For a scary look at how "wonderful" AI can be for at risk teens, see "The Correction Unit."  

The House by the Cemetery, Listed by Lucio Fulci

Whether by the cemetery or by the mall, if Lucio Fulci is making a movie about a house...don't go in. Though largely shot in Massachusetts, this horror yarn is Italian in it's cast and mood. This 1981 film came out three years after Fulci's classic "Zombie." (To see that review click on this link ZOMBIE ). However, as far as drive-in theaters went, this Fulci film was usually matched up with either "The Last House on the Left" or "The House that Vanished." (For that review, click on this link VANISHED ). Either way, we have a Fulci film...filled with ominous gore.

After Dr. Peterson's murder suicide, Dr. Norman Boyle (Paolo Malco) is tapped to take over his research. To do this, he takes his wife Lucy (Catriona MacColl) and son Bob (Giovanni Frezzo) to a house by the cemetery near Boston where he can have some seclusion while he researches.  A couple of uh-ohs here: First, Bob has visions of a ghostly girl telling him not to come, Second, this is the same house that Peterson murdered his mistress (Daniela Doria) before his suicide.  Oh yes, how can I forget, the tomb of Dr. Freudstein (Giovanni De Nava) is planted in the front hallway of this mansion.

As the ghostly girl (Silvia Collatina) adopts Bob as a playmate, the beautiful Lucy hires the sultry Ann (Ania Pieroni) as his babysitter.  Wouldn't you know it, Bob had a vision of Ann's decapitated body earlier in the film.  It might be a beautiful head, but yes, Ann will be separated from it soon. Oh! The cellar is locked and when Norman unlocks it he is feasted on by a vampire bat in an elongated and bloody scene.  He survives, but wouldn't you know it, the dimwit won't leave the house. As something in the basement starts killing people and dragging their bodies in the cellar, Norman begins to find out the history of the house and Dr. Freudstein.  Now he is convinced they need to leave, but is it too late?

Lurid and heavy, "The House by the Cemetery" is a neat horror film.  The themes may be classic but the over-the-top gore makes this a genuine Fulci film. Two years previous, the underwhelming "The Amityville Horror" was released to disappointed audiences who yawned instead of winced. However this film would have given those same audiences some neat nightmares.  Available on YouTube, enjoy "The House by the Cemetery."

The Night Before Halloween, College Kids Shredded by Curse

An impressive looking cast should give us hunks and babes we pull for.  Not always. In the world of dark horror in which the moviemaker is more interested in delivering a horrific story than a light fluffy teen horror yarn, sometimes the characters aren't meant to survive. Now, we'll meet Beth (Natalie Ganzhorn), and we'll like her a lot...but she'll be shredded by the teens early on.  Those teens?  Well, they are great looking. In a dark Syfy original, Sheldon Wilson presents us the 2016 "The Night Before Halloween."

High school seniors gather at the babe Lindsay's (Kiana Madeira) house for a pre-Halloween party.  Uh oh, a prank goes wrong.  So wrong, the nubile and lovely Beth is left in a coma.  So what do her selfish and egotistical buddies do?  Call an ambulance?  Ha!  Well, they do, but dump her body in an industrial park first so they won't be connected to or blamed for her demise. Wait!  Not a prank. Kyle (Jahmil French) intentionally tried to murder Beth. Kyle is trying to rid himself of a curse.  If he can murder someone, he gets to live. If not, some weird Halloween monster made of flies will murder him.  Beth lives and Kyle dies.  Unbeknownst to his buddies, they are now cursed...and now they must commit murder on the night before Halloween next year.

Next year arrives and so does the night before Halloween.  Beth, who is brain dead and in the hospital, calls all of them and lets them know what they must do.  Megan (Bailee Madison) is at college now and her and all her buddies race back home believing Beth has waken from a coma.  They can't have Beth talking...or all might end up in jail. Adam (Justin Kelly) also arrives and he and Megan are sweet on one another.  So do a couple others.  The friends are faced with a reality.  Each has to commit a murder or be murdered by this creature made of flies. However much they adore one another, they look at each other as a Doberman looks at a lambchop. As much as Megan loves Adam, vice versa, the duo can only live if they murder the other one.  Where does this all end?  Break the curse or die. Just how trustworthy is a friend who you share a deadly secret with?

Will the friends murder one another or try to find another way to break the curse?  Has anyone thought of a big cannister of Raid to deal with the monster made of flies?  Wouldn't have things turned out better if these teens turned to pre-marital sex or skinny dipping instead of stupid pranks at Halloween parties?  Great cheese and beef highlights this dark horror film.  For billions of insects, and a twisted plot that sees the beautiful marred horribly, see "The Night Before Halloween."