Friday, February 9, 2024

Kong Island, Dames and Gorillas

Sultry, scantily clad dames abducted by gorillas in the darkest of Africa! Oh, in a more politically incorrect time what I could do with this review. Okay, first of all there is no island.  Second, there is no Kong. There are sultry scantily clad dames and gorillas that take them. Throw in a mad scientist, sultry dames taking baths, catfights, and a hunk mercenary who grunts and takes his shirt off. Today we look at 1968's "Kong Island," directed by Roberto Mauri. Yes, this is an Italian film. Euro-Trash!

Burt (Brad Harris) is a mercenary who is betrayed during the heist of a lot of money in Kenya.  His partner, the mad scientist Albert (Marc Lawrence) shoots him, leaves him for dead, and absconds with all the money. Burt, a hunk, survives and recovers and now seeks Albert. Burt wants to murder him. Arriving in Nairobi, he meets up with a former partner, Theodore (Aldo Cecconi), his babe daughter Diana (Ursula Davis), and his former lover, the sultry Ursula (Adriana Alban).  Leaving a lot out, Diana loves the grunting and sometimes shirtless hunk Burt.  During the search for the elusive sacred monkey, Diana is taken by gorillas as most of her hunting party is killed.  In reality, mad scientist Albert has implanted transmitters into the gorillas brains and controls them. He has kidnapped Diana in order to lure Burt into a trap.

Now Burt heads to the forbidden jungle to rescue Diana before the gorillas...well, never mind. Albert sends the mind-controlled apes after him.  Fighting them off, an almost nude jungle babe, Eva (Esmeralda Barros) finds him and helps him.  Eva used to be able to control the gorillas because she is such a babe who wears hardly any clothes. I guess the gorillas want...well, never mind. To Eva's surprise, she has no influence on the apes anymore.  Together, Burt and Eva walk into Albert's trap. Now the gorillas have Eva and they are going to...well, never mind.  Diana is also caged and the gorillas are going to...well, never mind.  Fear not, Ursula is on her way and one terrific catfight will erupt between all three of the babes. Albert seeks to put implants in the brains of the babes so he can...well, never mind. Burt? He'll grunt nicely and flex his muscles as he tries to save Diana so he can...well, never mind.

Just what do the gorillas want to do with Diane?  What was the nature of Eva's relationship with the simians? If Roger Corman had made this film would we have seen Eva, Ursula, and Diana...wait, I withdraw the question.  Cheese and beef to the max and even the gorillas are aroused.  For some good, clean, politically incorrect fun, see "Kong Island." 

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