Friday, February 23, 2024

Amityville in Space, Gritty Reality in Our Favorite Possessed Franchise

Hey!  Jason went into space!  Leprechaun went into space!  Why not that possessed home in Amityville, New York.  I'm sure the property values are lower in space. What the Amityville Horror franchise has lacked is gritty reality.  Thanks to the Polonia Brothers, we now have it.  2022's "Amityville in Space," by Polonia Brothers Entertainment, and directed by Mark Polonia.  Plus, our favorite Catholic priest!  Not Bing Crosby, nor Max von Sydow...but Jeff Kirkendall!

Father Benna (Kirkendall) shows up at the evil and infamous house in Amityville to perform an exorcism-type thing. His goal is to send the evil demons in it back to Hell, or wherever they came from.  The exorcism-type thing meets with mixed results.  The house is sucked into space and Fr. Benna, who lost a hand during this thing, is still in it.  Now the house hovers in deep space at the mouth of a huge black hole. Enter a space vessel captained by the hunk Halstead (Titus Himmelberger). He has a good but small crew that includes space-babe Dr. Nurmi (Cassandra Hayes), Maitland (Tim Hatch) the navigator, and Jacowitz (Ryan Dalton) the weapons guy.  They arrive at the black hole with the intention of nuking it (Biden would love this mission).  They see the house and Halstead beams aboard it with Nurmi.

This does not go well.  Originally, Halstead sent a cyborg into the house but a big demon destroyed it.  In the house is Fr. Benna's severed hand ready to cause mischief, and Fr. Benna who is now in suspended animation.  They bring Benna back onto their ship and the demon also arrives on their ship.  The demon will play havoc with everyone's sanity by putting horrific hallucinations inside every crew member's head.  Now Benna wakes and tells the crew what must be done.  Back at Aquarius base, the lovely and frisky space-babe Tyse (Natalie Himmelberg) is also taken over by Amityville demons and now she works for them. The demon unleashes a big tentacled creature and another creature with a million eyes to play havoc with the crew.  Benna has an idea to rid the universe of the Amityville evil forever...but it isn't a good idea. 

After failing already on earth, will Father Benna succeed in banishing the Amityville evil forever in deep space?  Will Father Benna succeed and start Vatican 3, making the babe Tyse a priest and then marrying her?  Is this film a loose remake of that weird "Space 1999" episode in which a tentacled creature entranced space-babes and lured them in to eat them?  Who remembers that episode? For a serious take on the Amityville legend, with eye creatures, tentacles, and a malicious severed hand, see "Amityville in Space."

No comments:

Post a Comment