Thursday, August 17, 2023

A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell, Bikini Babe vs. Monsters

No CGI in this one! Nope!  A lot of monsters...and a bikini babe!  A post-apocalyptic tale in which monsters, mutants, and brute men seek to violate a nubile babe.  We need more films like this.  Instead Hollywood gives us irrelevant anthems of "social justice" and woke pronoun lessons. Forget about Disney, forget about Harrison Ford (who has not made a good film in nearly 40 years), forget about "inspirational change," forget about "starting the conversation."  Bring on the bikini babes and the aroused monsters that seek to soil her! Today we look at 1990's "A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell," directed by Brett Piper.

Lea (Linda Corwin) is aforementioned post-apocalyptic bikini babe.  She is traipsing along a dinosaur and mutant infested futuristic landscape with her brute lover Marn (Paul Guzzi).  They have a sweet relationship based on vicious eroticism and lust. While Lea is washing at a river, Marn is fighting off a huge worm monster.  Lea will have to fight off a dino-alligator thing soon.  As soon as she finishes fighting of the reptile creature, humanoid lizard men come and try to gang rape her.  Marn saves her but Lea is then abducted by Clon (Alex Pirnie).  He's a brute who grunts and probably smells.  Marn, knocked out trying to save Lea from reptile rape, is now on Clon's trail to try to get the bikini babe back.

More monster attacks will CGI...puppets and Claymation all the way!  Weird dinosaur things and flying reptile things will emerge as hungry threats.  Lea will try to escape and always be brought back by Clon's lizard men. Marn will never be far behind and will be gifted a gun by a weird stranger (Mark Deshaies). Now the drooling Clon has had enough with foreplay and will rip Lea's clothes off, fondle her private parts and drool all over them, and...well...let's stop here.  Bug monsters will also join the plot and other icky things, too.

Will Marn ever catch up or will Clon have free reign with our bikini babe?  Do the mutant lizard men have a shot with Lea?  At some level, does our post-apocalyptic bikini babe enjoy the attention she is receiving from monster, mutant, and man alike?  This is a good one.  If you need a dose of manhood in your movie selection, tell your girlfriend to sit down, shut up...and learn a thing or two from Lea the bikini babe of the future.  See "A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell" and get your 'man-card' punched. 


1 comment:

  1. I love these low-budget fantasy & apocalyptic epics from the '80s, and I especially appreciate valiant attempts to do stop-motion and puppetry effects on paltry budgets. This one reminds me of one of my favorites, Fred Olen Ray's and Jim Wynorski's Dinosaur Island. And unlike Dinosaur Island, this one is widely available on several streamers. Thanks for the recommendation!