Saturday, May 14, 2022

A Crack in the Floor, Babes and Hunks Ripped Apart

Fine!  So our film today is...shall we say...flawed.  Like James Cameron's "Titanic" isn't!  So it stars that annoying guy from "Saved by the Bell"  I understand your hesitation to put it on.  Still...the babe factor is off the charts and a lot of kills will grace your viewing experience.  Oh!  Did I mention Gary Busey?  Classic.  So, his role in this film has nothing to do with the plot...still, it will stay with you for the rest of your'll see.  Our film today is 2001's "A Crack in the Floor" directed by Sean Stanek and Corbin Timbrook. 

33 years ago, in a secluded cabin deep in the woods, babe (Tracy Scoggins) raises her son.  The babe mom is determined to keep her son from the evil society just beyond those woods.  Uh oh...two brutes come a long and brutally rape and murder Tracy Scoggins in front of her son.  Now, 33 years later, Jeremiah (Roger Hewlett) is a hulking slasher living in the same cabin.  As the film continues, he'll murder a babe (Madeleine Wade) and a hunk (Con Schell) while they have pre-marital sex in the cabin.  Now we meet our six hunk/babe team.  Lehman (Mario Lopez) is dating the exotic dancer who works with autistic kids, Heidi (Daisy McCrackin).  Heidi is beautiful and annoying and we long for her twisted demise.

The two other pairs include some really likable stoners (Francesca Orsi and Jason Oliver), and the pregnant babe Kate (Justine Priestley) and her beau Johnny (Bentley Mitchum).  The crew goes on a hike but not before stopping at a redneck gas station and being accosted by a creepy gas station attendant (Rance Howard).  At this station they meet Tyler (Busey), the chicken murderer.  However irrelevant to the plot, this is a scene that will stick with you for the rest of your life.  The six babes and hunks begin their hike and find Jeremiah's cabin.  The unfortunates decide to camp there overnight...mistake.  Now Jeremiah goes on a homicidal rage utilizing knives, beartraps, and his own hands.  The beautiful will die horribly and so will their boyfriends...but will any survive?

I forgot to mention Bo Hopkins as a lousy sheriff...but he's in this, too.  Will Jeremiah decide to abduct any of the babes and begin his own family with them?  Will Mario Lopez be cut into several pieces ending the reign for his annoying characters?  Since when do we let exotic dancers work with autistic kids?  Satisfying and lots of neat yourself a favor and watch "A Crack in the Floor."  

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