Monday, September 20, 2021

Monsters of War, What Jurassic Park Should Have Been

Today we have Chrissie Wunna's magnum opus.  What?  Oh come on!  She's the sultriest actress ever to hail from...Burma.  If all women from Burma looked like Miss Wunna, the U.N. and the United States wouldn't be shortchanging that nation on vital assistance and aid.  Today we look at 2021's "Monsters of War," directed by Jack Peter Mundy. 

An earthquake in the UK.  May (Wunna) figures that is what it is...she will be wrong.  The sultry mother of Tim and Sue (these two kids are much more talented and watchable than those two brats in "Jurassic Park").  May is packing bags as she intends to leave her abusive husband.  On their drive out of the city a giant monster worm disables her car.  Now May rushes her two kids away from the road and meets two miners.  They're will be eaten by a T-Rex, the other picked apart by a big spider...happens.  Perhaps a metaphor of the government run health system in the UK.

Finally May finds shelter in a hostel.  The place is run by Mark (Richard Lovell) and his asthmatic mom, Lyn (Kate Sandison).  Also there are grouchy guests including a really pessimistic nun who demands everyone repent...fat chance.  Now the monsters, including icky spiders and the T-Rex converge.  The idiotic guests find reasons to venture outside and are eaten.  Now two soldiers arrive.  Mel (Chelsea Greenwood) will match May in melodramatic performances.  Mel will yell a lot and cry...and bond with May.  The two kids will be cute and make you wonder what "Jurassic Park" could have been if the two children roles were not wasted on such thin talent.  

Will May join forces with soldier Mel to lead the survivors out of safety and past the monster perimeter? Will the T-Rex do us all a favor and eat the nun?  Will the rampant corruption in the United Nations be exposed and Burma finally get their fair share of humanitarian and economic aid?  Just have fun this Friday night and put on "Monsters of War."  

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