Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Boar, Go Pig!!!

So when did this happen?  Didn't we used to like Australians?  Paul Hogan and that whole 'Crocodile Dundee' thing? They were funny...irreverent...happy-go-lucky!  Today they are annoying and no fun to be around.  Maybe the English saw this centuries ago when they banished these blokes to the land down under.  Today's antagonist...a really big pig...will warm our hearts as he eats and rips apart these Fosters-drinking-nitwits.  Our feature today is 2017's  "Boar," a film by Chris Sun. 

Okay...fair enough...we like Sasha (Melissa Tkautz)...but that's only because she keeps the drinks coming.  Otherwise, we start cheering for the mutated pig early on.  It'll murder and eat farmers, campers, motorists, and annoying Aussies engaging in pre-marital sex.  Okay, Sheridan's (Sheridyn Fisher) is a babe we would have liked to have her credit, the boar doesn't just kill tears her apart and sticks its tusk...well never mind.  Two annoying hunters come across the carnage...mercifully, they are ripped apart, as well.  Under this romantic and bubbly backdrop we meet the family and desire them to be ripped apart, as well.

Bruce (Bill Moseley) is your typical Australian nowadays...eek!  Come on pig!  Get him!  Just wait, you won't be surprised.  His GF Debbie (Simone Buchanan) may have been quite the babe 20 years ago, but like any Aussie...her shelf life expired.  Their teen-aged kids?  Yeah...we won't even go there.  Here comes the boar...the really big and drooling boar.  The only hope for this family is Uncle Bernie (Nathan Jones), a behemoth of a man.  He is big...did I mention that?  He takes his relatives on a picnic in the wilderness and there the war vs. beast.  Go beast!

Is Sheridan's gory death actually an act of mercy by the pig so she won't have to interact with Bernie, Bruce, and Debbie?  Can the Foster's serving Sasha redeem Australia's reputation as being a friendly and nice place to go?  What does it say about us as a people when we cheer as the big pig bites off Bruce's head?  Have fun with this one.  Oh yes, for you Aussies...take this film as a wake-up call...your not as loved as you once were.  "Boar," see it and learn from our tusked friends in nature.

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