Thursday, February 4, 2021

Robo Vampire 3: Counter Destroy, Hopping Vampires Return

Maybe a bit far-fetched...but no more far-fetched the the DC and Marvel garbage that is thrown at us. A baby hopping vampire explodes out of the stomach of an American babe...then fights the evil hopping vampires by using Kung Fu and urinating on them as it flies over them. Sort of a metaphor for all of our lives, I know. From Hong Kong and Thailand we have what looks like two different films combined to bring us 1989's "Robo Vampire: Counter Destroy." This one was directed by Godfrey Oh and stays very loyal to the best selling novel. 

Lawrence is making a film about the last emperor of China. The sultry Joyce is hired to write a script. She and the lovely Cindy (don't get too attached to her, she'll be killed several times, most notably by a Freddy Krueger-type vampire) are sent to a spooky house to have the script written in a week. The house is haunted and ghosts of vampires materialize and possess. Okay, Jackson is a rival moviemaker and will kill to stop Lawrence from making this epic. Lawrence hires private-eye Jackie...a real Asian babe. As Jackson's men try to kill Lawrence, Jackie tracks down Jackson's men and kills them with either a machinegun, crossbow, knife, or exploding flowers.

Back at the haunted house. Joyce tries to write the script but keeps getting possessed by some demon vampire. She'll turn into one and feast on Cindy. Oh yes, a Taoist monk is supposed to watch over the place and he has some pet hopping vampires who want to feast on Joyce. Back i the city, Jackie goes undercover to get close to Jackson and she even befriends two useless cops. Did I mention the ninja-in-white who kills hopping vampire? He's in this though his purpose is kept unclear (much like our own purposes on this mortal coil we call life). There will be hopping and some nice machinegun fights...and some slashing and irrelevant ninja action...and moviemaking carnage and fortune telling birds. Got it?

A classic plot, indeed. Will Jackie get to kill Cindy, too? Will Joyce finish the script for this film no one wants to see? Is the choppy plot a metaphor for the tense political and social relationships between Hong Kong and Thailand? This one is so much fun and a lot better than all that 'Star Wars' foolishness we have been programmed to like. For a frolicking good time, see "Robo Vampire 3: Counter Destroy."

1 comment:

  1. I can't watch a series, like Star Wars , that chops around past present and future not in the right order. (much like our own purposes on this mortal coil we call life) how poetic!!!!