Friday, February 26, 2021

Knightmare, Five Year Reunion Massacre

Why not a knight in shining armor? Slasher films can get away with a lot as long as hunks and babes die in imaginative ways. This one will have so many hunks and babes and you, at home, can argue which is the sexiest. Those that love trashy will love Krista (Kimberly Magness). For those who like a literary aspect to their babe...Rebecca (Elizabeth Diaz). You gals...Matt (Ryan Shank) and his pecs will do. That's just the the cheesecake and beefcake assemble five years after graduating high school, a knight in shining armor will join them with a twisted and bloody plan. Hence, 2014's "Knightmare" (directed by Anthony Palma).

After high school, Rebecca wrote a bestseller about her buddies. Her buddies didn't appreciate how they were portrayed. Hence the beautiful Rebecca and her new hunk, Matt, plan a reunion, as Rebecca wants to apologize. Matt seems to have taken his portrayal in stride. All the buddies are hunks and babes. Krista (Kimberly Magness) has always been lusting for Matt and Rebecca's proclivity for pre-marital sex with Matt makes her competitive. The reunion at an isolated cabin in the woods is filled with alcohol, pre-marital sex, drugs, and loud well as stupid party games. Thankfully, the murders begin. Heather (Jessica Ritacco) will be the first to go as the knight will roll a car over her head.

Strangulation and a jagged bong glass will eliminate the stoners. Then the knight resorts to his sword and the death of the really hot Julie (Julie Ek) and her husband Rich (Tyler Christie) will be heartbreaking. Oh yeah, you won't believe what Julie says to the knight before being skewered...either did the knight. The uber hot Krista will have an opportunity at deathbed philosophy as her logic before...well, you'll see...will be priceless. Don't get too attached to anyone, a mistake I made with Amy (Kylee Campbell) sad.  As Sir Slashalot goes through hunks and babes like crap through a goose, Rebecca comes up with a hair-brained plan...but it is crazy enough to work.

Will Rebecca and her fellow survivors be able to turn the tables on our slashing knight? Did anyone else go to a high school where everyone was sultry or beefy? Since Krista is the sluttiest character, will her demise be the most memorable? The cheesecake and beefcake are optimal here, and the kills are wonderful. Sure, some pre-death one-liners will have you in hysterics, still this is a fine slasher film. For some gore, pre-marital sex, and alluring characters...see "Knightmare." 

1 comment:

  1. Great review, you need a youtube channel, five minute reviews, will be a hit!! Start from your firt ever review, there's a project.. I'll help you!!