Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Vampirella, Vampire in a Leather Bikini

Years before Kate Beckinsale slipped into a skin-tight leather bodysuit and cloak to portray a vampire princess, a certain Bond-girl donned a red leather bikini and hooker boots and did the same. The very sultry Talisa Soto may not be forever etched in our minds as a vampire princess, but she sure did carry this straight to video, campy horror film, 1996's "Vampirella." What ever faults in the plot this work endures, it does merit a view, if for no other reason than....well...Talisa Soto is clad in a red leather bikini and hooker boots through the entire film.
30 centuries ago, a benign race of vampires thrive and frolic on the planet Draculon. They feed on synthetic blood and smile a lot. But wait, the evil Vlad (Roger Daltrey) rebels, kills the benign leader and escapes in a spaceship with his gang. Uh oh for him, the benign leader was the dad of Princess Ella (Soto). The benign princess is now an angry princess and commandeers another spaceship in pursuit of Vlad.  Clad in the aforementioned outfit, she arrives on Earth thousands of years later and begins going through Vlad's gang like crap through a goose.
Vampirella...from a different angle
Vlad, now rocker Jamie Blood, is the hottest thing in Vegas. As Ella moves in to seduce/kill Vlad, PURGE shows up. Headed by Adam Van Helsing (Richard Joseph Paul), they mess things up for Ella as they are also trying to kill Vlad. Vlad escapes and Adam and Ella fall in love and join forces to hunt down their toothy tormentor. Armed with some neat synthetic sunlight weapons, Adam and Ella are unaware that Vlad is always a step ahead of them. As Vlad turns the tables on Ella, the sultry vampire princess and Adam will be taken prisoner by Vlad. Even more ominous, Vlad is about to enact a plan which will wipe out all of Earth's sunlight, leaving the planet completely vulnerable to these creatures of the night.
Vampirella in much distress
Can Ella and Adam regain the offensive and kill Vlad and save the planet? As Ella and Adam continue to swap spit, is Adam in danger that Ella's passions might also result in swapping blood? Did Talisa Soto and Kate Beckinsale ever meet, and if so, did Ms. Soto brag that "...some women have to wear a body suit, while others have the body fit for a bikini." Just wondering. Whether or not Ms. Soto and Ms. Beckinsale ever engaged in cat-fight isn't important, what is important is "Vampirella" (directed by Jim Wynorski) is 85 minutes of Talisa Soto prancing around in that aforementioned bikini and hooker boots.


  1. Talisa Soto, I remember her fromna Sam Neill movie back in the day. This sounds very Interview with a Vampire meets S & M Nine Inch Nails vibe. Good review, Christopher.

  2. ..."Drakulon"?? Lmao that alone sells it to me as well as it having Vlad (I take it it's the impaler?) as a rocker, not to mention the facts that it's by the director of Chopping Mall, which I have a fondness for. Some of Wynorski's other titles are just plain genius, such as "The Breastford Wives" "Cleavagefield" "The Da Vinci Co-Ed" & my personal fave, "House on Hooter Hill" (and no, I'm actually not making any of these up :D).

    I've heard of Vampirella but haven't gotten round to see it yet, but after your heads up re Wynorski, I think I need to rectify that.

    He also did The Haunting of Morella (1990) apparently his pet project, which is without a doubt one of the bewbiest ghost stories I ever done seen. :) Very nice review Christopher, will defo check this one out sooner rather than later