Monday, November 23, 2015

The Sand, Bikini Babes vs. The Tentacled Menace

This is exactly what we have all been waiting for, a companion piece to 1981's Blood Beach . Hunks with abs, and babes clad in bikinis await us in our look at 2015's "The Sand." You gals will love seeing Dean Geyer ("Glee") and all his abs, and us guys will focus on Brooke Butler ("All Cheerleaders Die") in her swimwear for the entire film. Everyone in this film, except a couple of beach patrol schmucks, are clad that way...though most will be eaten.
After partying all night, hung over college students wake up hung-over on the beach.  Actually, the dozens of them that actually slept on the sand are gone (...eaten), leaving several to wonder what happened.  Kaylee (Butler) wakes up first and soon realizes there is something in the sand eating anything that moves.  She tries to warn her friends, but pretty Marsha (Nikki Leigh), clad in half a bikini and Vance (Hector David, Jr.)...a great looking duo...don't heed her wisdom. Tendrils come out of the sand with an acidic touch and take these two lookers.  Kaylee and Mitch (Mitchell Musso) are trapped in a lifeguard house, and Ronnie (Cynthia Murell), Chanda (Meagan Holder), and Jonah (Geyer) are trapped in a convertible.  Oh yes..Jonah is Kaylee's ex, and Chanda's current BF. more, Gilbert (Cleo Berry) is a 300 pound football player stuck in a metal was quite a party.
Unfortunately Vegas rules applied at this cell phones were allowed.  Now our hunks and damsels must plot to either escape or try to figure out what this creature is exactly...without ever touching the sand.  I have to give these peeps credit, they come up with some ingenious plans....too bad for them that the monster is also pretty smart.  We'll see arms ripped off, faces pulled off, the pretty and handsome die horribly, and eventually a really cool jellyfish creature.  Does the fact that Kaylee and Jonah still love each other spell doom for Chanda?  Does the fact that Ronnie gives us some very gratuitous poses (see picture above) secure her fate as jellyfish lunch?
The acting is terrific and so is the scenery.  Despite the stereotypes attached to blondes in bikinis, hunks who surf, and jocks, the characters are actually intelligent and work together nicely.  Some of the appeal to "The Sand" may be gratuitous, but this film is so much fun. Filmed in Valencia, California and directed nicely by Isaac Gabaeff, Enjoy some great beach drama (....horror, actually) before the winter hits and get a copy of "The Sand," which is reasonably priced on Amazon.


  1. Dis movie's a pile!

  2. Groovy! It sounds like the surf and turfless offspring of TREMORS. The part of no cell phones present in a group of anyone, much less college students, is possibly, too much of a stretch, but skin on my horror grill always wins.
    Neat review!