Friday, June 27, 2014

Uninvited, The Loose Coeds vs. the Kitty Cat

Two nymphomaniac coeds on spring break in Fort Lauderdale may not appear to you as ingredients for an effective horror story...but wait.  Throw in a cute kitty cat, a couple of beefy college kids, a perverted rich guy who wants sex, and a grouchy George Kennedy....yep, now we have the stuff nightmares are made of. As much fun as 1988's "Uninvited" is, the blood, guts, severed body parts, and ominous settings are not sacrificed.  Though this movie is heavy on the coeds, Suzanne (Shari Shattuck) and Bobbie (Clare Carey), dancing in bikinis, finding any occasion to shed those bikinis, and acquiring intimacy from anyone available, these are not reasons to categorize this film as mindless trash.
  Deep in the bowels of a top secret genetics laboratory, a test cat  escapes.  This tabby rips through 18 scientists, guys in containment suits, and security guards during it's getaway.  No ordinary house cat, this one has an inner-self...literally.  When it attacks, out of its mouth comes a ferocious mutant cat-thing (see photo below) with a venomous bite and bad attitude.  After the attack, it crawls back into it's "shell" and resumes it's identity has a cute pet.  While this is occurring, Bobbie and Suzanne are being thrown out of hotels as every one is overbooked.  Billionaire Walter Graham (Alex Cord) drools when he sees Bobbie (both pictured above) and invites these babes to spend their break on his luxury yacht.  The girls accept and bring dates with them including Corey (Rob Estes from "Silk Stalkings") and brainiac Martin (Eric Larsen).  The monster cat is also heading in the same direction, attacking car thieves and schmucks along the way.  At the dock, Suzanne takes pity on this stray feline (ignoring it's collar from a genetics lab) and brings the fiend on board.
Also on the ship is Rachel (Toni Hudson).  This cutie used to own the boat until Walter stole it in a financial scheme.  In fact, the SEC is about to close in on Walter for stealing from his corporations and moving the money offshore.  Thus the yacht is headed to the Grand Cayman Islands.  Walter wants sex with Bobbie and the fact that Bobbie sun bathes a lot and does aerobics in a half nude state make Walter very determined.  Mike is Walter's muscle and he yells at the girls a lot and tries to ruin everyone's fun.  While Bobbie does aerobics, Walter tries to rape her.  This sets off a fight which results in Mike (George Kennedy) firing his gun.  Sensing danger, the cat changes into the monster and starts biting people.  First it bites two of Walter's men (including Mike), and they die tortuous deaths as their veins explode.  Now the cat is on the prowl, and it's venom contaminates the food and water on the yacht.  Now the hunted, our not too bright villains and coeds try to kill this thing before it gets them.  As the days at sea without food and water weaken our crew and passengers, will these beauties and hunks fend off an amorous Walter, and kill the cat?  As the cast is killed off one by one, Rachel and Martin emerge as the only level heads aboard.
As the yacht, now contaminated, drifts off course, will our babes live to see another spring break?  Director Greydon Clark ("Satan's Cheerleaders") knows his biggest asset in this film are the female members of the cast, and the viewer never has to look long to get a good view of them.  Shattuck and Carey turn in very enjoyable performances, and are perfect as damsels in much peril.  Yeah...the creature might not be Alien or Predator, but this cat does provide the means for much gore.  Widely available, and in good quality, on YouTube, "Uninvited" is a lot of fun and beats any Harrison Ford film over the past 30 years.   
   

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