The Blood Beast Terror, Frankenstein meets the Moth Woman

Fan's of the British TV series "U.F.O." will find 1968's "The Blood Beast Terror" most enjoyable.  In Gerry Anderson's "U.F.O." Gabrielle Drake (as Lt. Gay Ellis) and Wanda Ventham (as Col. Virginia Lake), two very shapely heroines, provided much sex-appeal as they saved Earth from alien hordes.  Just before that show hit the telly, Ms. Ventham starred as the creature in our feature today.  So, as far as monster moths go, if "Mothra" didn't shock you, and that stupid Richard Gere film left you wanting, the lovely Wanda Ventham will tantalize you in a movie which Peter Cushing called his worst film ever.

The plot: We have a mad scientist (etymologist), Dr. Mallinger (Robert Flemyng...a last minute replacement for Basil Rathbone) who is really into flying insects.  As he gives his usual dull Thursday night lecture to his university students at his home, two men are killed by a giant moth creature in the woods by his mansion.  As the lecture ends, the evil doctor's beautiful daughter (creation), Clare, brings in some refreshments and cleavage.  Inspector Quennell (Cushing) responds to the killings and brings the corpses to Mallinger's house where they are pronounced dead.  A closer examination of the poor schmucks reveals weird facial wounds and a loss of large amounts of blood.  As the Inspector turns up more clues, his attention turns to Dr. Mallinger, who seems to be hiding a great deal.   

Meanwhile, Clare is pressuring Mallinger to continue his experiments.  The moth woman is becoming a nuisance as she begins to eat Dr. Mallinger's guests.  Feeling the heat, our elusive etymologist flees to his mansion/laboratory in the country, hoping to shake the curious Inspector. Clare's ability to wait for the experiments to conclude wanes and presses the mad doctor to hurry his pace.  Unfortunately for the gardener and many other tourists in the village, the experiments are not moving quick enough. As Clare feeds on more unfortunates, the doctor asks for a young woman's blood as the last stage of creating...well...whatever he is creating in the lab.  Clare abducts the Inspector's beautiful daughter (Vanessa Howard), and now the Inspector must race against a very speedy clock to save his daughter before the doctor can unleash unimaginable horror on England.

Exactly what is the doctor creating in his lab?  Why is Clare so eager to see the experiment's completion?  Will the Inspector be able to save his daughter from a most gruesome fate?  Peter Cushing and Robert Flemyng were grouches regarding their roles in this film, but both do a terrific job.  Wanda Ventham as the beautiful Clare is captivating (...until she turns into the monster, of course).  Not a classic as many of the Hammer horror films of the same period, but fun, nevertheless. Available on Netflix, "The Blood Beast Terror" is a terrific film to experience during a rainy week-end afternoon or evening.

Cheerleader Massacre 2, GRATUITOUS NUDE SHOWER SCENE Cinema

Ben (Michael Addison) sums it up best in 2011's "Cheerleader Massacre 2."  The hunk extols, "I have two words for you...INCREDIBLY HOT CHEERLEADERS."  All mathematics aside, Ben has a point.  Unlike "Cheerleader Massacre" (reviewed on this blog on Sept. 1st), the sequel adds a bit of science fiction  into the plot of this horror film.  After all, what would a GRATUITOUS NUDE SHOWER SCENE be without robotic insect creatures thirsting for cheerleader blood?  Like it's predecessor, this film is a throwback to the 1980s slasher film, with the usual suspects; a babe who did not make the cheerleading squad, a creepy maintenance man, a perverted camp director, his jealous babe girlfriend, a screw driver wielding babe-psycho, and killer NSA-created-blade-wielding drones run amok.

As our film begins a really shapely cheerleading team is on a bus headed to a camp to compete in a competition.  Insert a GRATUITOUS CONTORTION SCENE.  The bus never makes it as it is attacked by a blade-wielding drone.  This drone chases down each cheerleader and slices them into little pieces.   Here we cut away for a GRATUITOUS CHEERLEADER IN THE BATHTUB SCENE. The other team actually makes it to camp.  The cheerleaders are all conceited b@#%$ except for Anna (Julia Lehman).  Anna holds down a part time job and needs the competition to win scholarship money.  Her best friend is the lovely, but embittered Janice (Michele Boyd) who drives her to the camp.  Insert a GRATUITOUS CHEERLEADER SHOWER SCENE (see photo below).  Janice did not make the squad.  At the camp they meet their coaches, college cheerleaders who will judge their routines.  Then more killings occur.  A shapely coach is electrocuted in the shower.  Another coach is killed during a GRATUITOUS SEX SCENE, and so is her boyfriend, by a robotic scorpion.

As the cheerleaders, and their beautiful coaches are disassembled by maniacal insect drones, their boyfriends arrive.  These dweebs are cut up pretty quickly but not before some GRATUITOUS MAKE-OUT SCENES.  With phone lines cut, vehicles disabled, boys pureed, Anna and a few survivors flee through the woods with the mechanical monsters on their tails.  As the evil force behind these murders is revealed ("No cheerleader is innocent" is the mantra), Anna begins to fight back.  Will Anna be able to defeat the homicidal menace?  What are the motives for murdering these lovelies?  Jealousy?  Misogyny?  Eliminating competition? World Peace?  The answer is finally revealed, and it is a shocking one.

All of the actresses are stunning.  Julia Lehman is terrific and so is Jennifer Titus who plays an investigative reporter.  From a strictly "guilty-pleasure mindset" this film succeeds.  Not for everyone, but as the Christmas season approaches, and you get ready to watch "Miracle on 34th Street" a dozen times, "Cheerleader Massacre 2" may serve as needed therapy.  This film is available on Netflix.

Skinwalkers, Rhona Mitra vs. a Werewolf Motorcycle Gang

An automatic weapon weilding werewolf motorcycle gang.  Rival lycanthrope packs.  A pistol packing grannie.  A cat-fight between Rhona Mitra and Natassia Malthe.  Lots of fangs.  Largely ignored by critics and moviegoers, 2006's "Skinwalkers" is a film that you need to move to the top of your watch-list.  This straight to DVD masterpiece marks the second time Rhona Mitra has been featured on this blog (see my review of "Doomsday" over a year ago, November 23, 2013).  Natassia Malthe is making her fifth appearance, in addition to a couple of the "BloodRayne" films, see my review of "Vampire Wars" (also over a year ago, November 15, 2013).

As our story commences, a pack of shapeshifters led by Varek (Jason Behr) is seeking a boy about to hit his 13th birthday.  Legend has it, if this half human/half lycan boy reaches that birthday, a curse will be removed.  This curse means an entire race of people become werewolves during full moons.  However, to Varek, and his gang.....they enjoy becoming werewolves and hunting humans.  Thus Varek endeavors to kill the boy before the birthday.  He is joined by a motley crew, including Sonja (Natassia Malthe), who is his main-squeeze.  The pack rides into town with a mission.  Interestingly enough, the small town is mobilized to protect the boy.  Though all the townspeople know what is about to happen, the boy, and his mother, Rachel Talbot (Rhona Mitra) are clueless.  A war erupts, and an epic battle commences.  Rachel and her son are whisked away by some relatives in a werewolf truck.  On the run, Rachel's kinfolk let her in on the secret...which she doesn't handle all too well.  Go figure.

Now on the run, Varek and Sonja, and their compadres, are closing the gap.  Rachel's son has an asthma attack and she has to bring him to the hospital.  At the hospital, the very beautiful Nurse Sally (Ramona Pringle) cares for him.  Unfortunately for Nurse Sally, clad in a nifty white nurse's outfit, Sonja (pictured above wearing Nurse Sally's whites) arrives and murders her.  As Sonja dons the nurse's outfit, which Sally no longer needs, and makes a move on the boy...she gets in a fight with Rachel.  Rachel and the boy escape, but now Varek and company are right on their tails.  Varek is able to pick-off  Rachel's protectors, one by one, setting up a final showdown.  Startling revelations are revealed regarding Varek's identity which make killing Rachel a priority for Sonja.

Will the boy reach his 13th birthday, thus removing the werewolf curse?  Will the beautiful Rachel and the luscious Sonja meet in a rematch?  Of course!  What are Varek's true intentions?  "Skinwalkers" has neat battle scenes, exciting chases, sexy characters, vicious werewolves, and some neat twists.  The acting is terrific, as Ms. Mitra portrays a caring and frightened mother perfectly.  Fans of Ms. Mitra and Ms. Malthe will not want to miss this film.   

Sorcerer, From The Exorcist and Jaws to the Cesspool

This shouldn't be a B movie....but discontent foiled a would-be blockbuster.  William Friedkin, the director and producer, had just done "The Exorcist" and "The French Connection."  The star, Roy Scheider, fresh from "Jaws" would be cast in Bob Fosse's, "All That Jazz."  Success should have been easy for 1977's "Sorcerer."  Not so.  Mr. Friedkin, not an easy man to get along with, feuded with the studios prior to this film's release.  Both Universal and Paramount had joined forces to make this can't-miss epic.  When the finished product was delivered to them, these studio's were aghast, and cut a half hour off the final product, releasing a 90 minute B movie.  Mr. Friedkin was furious, but today we have the 121 minute epic, available on DVD.  A remake of 1953's "Wages of Fear," this is one of the dirtiest movies ever made (literally).

The plot: Three evil schmucks.  1) Jackie (Scheider) is a small time Irish hood who rips off a big time Italian mob boss in a New Jersey poker game.  He has to leave town. 2) An Arab terrorist has just blown up innocents at a Jerusalem bus stop.  The Israeli police pursue and kill his cohorts.  He has to leave town.  3)  Victor is a banker at one of Paris' most prestigious banks.  He has just embezzled 15 million Francs from them and is about to be arrested.  He has to leave town.  Where do these bozos go?  A cesspool of a banana republic in central America.  The only country in existence that not even the lowliest of the low will visit.  Muddy streets, tropical rains, naked kids, ugly prostitutes, and a dictator seeking to quell any potential for revolution highlight this Hell hole.

Our three protagonists hold menial jobs, and scheme on getting new identities and escaping their cursed new home.  Lucky for them an oil well explodes and catches fire.  As long as the well isn't producing capital, no one works...making the atmosphere ripe for civil war.  Our trio then are offered lots of dinero to transport some unstable dynamite 217 miles through the jungle.  This dynamite will blow out the oil well fire, restoring production.  Desperate and grizzled, the three are joined by a couple more shady characters and piece together rickety old trucks for the trek.  If the ride gets too bumpy...BOOM!  No one expects them to succeed.  What follows is a harrowing ride through storms, jungle growth, rivers, unstable bridges, homicidal rebels, and eroding roads.  The scene when Jackie maneuvers his truck across a rope bridge has been termed by some critics as the most tense three minutes ever put on film (see above picture).

Mr. Friedken successfully captures the desperation of his characters, and the grittiness of this fictional country.  Can these three losers really escape their past?  Do they have any chance at delivering the dynamite without being blown to bits?  Would more effective conflict resolution strategies have helped Mr. Friedkin negotiate a more positive release for his film?  There is so much mud, rain, sweat, oil, dirt, dust, and whatever else in this film that you will want to jump in the shower after it ends.  Ignored by the public and critics in the 1970s, this is actually a terrific movie.  See "Sorcerer," and treat yourself to a well-acted, finely directed near-miss masterpiece.

Hell, Nena...99 Luftballoons...Cannibalism

NASCAR fans will remember Carl Edwards' feeble attempt to revive the popularity of Nena's "99 Luftballoons."  However noble of an attempt, Mr. Edwards misread the NASCAR culture.  NASCAR fans usually have a...shall we say, "louder" taste in music.  Nena's magnum opus is destined to endure, as this 2011 film from Germany takes "99 Luftballoons" into the apocalypse.  Post-apocalyptic landscapes are perfect for B movies, and tend to keep our attention longer than spring afternoons in Paris.  In "Hell," director Tim Fehlbaum introduces us to 2016 Germany, where social order has collapsed.  Many will see "Hell" as a "The Walking Dead" episode without zombies. However, like TWD, the perils in "Hell" are the survivors.

The plot: Intense solar storms have upped world temperatures 10 degrees.  Crops and water have evaporated.  Social order has collapsed quickly.  Bands of survivors have turned to foragers....and other things.  Marie (Hannah Herzsprung), her teen-aged sister Leonie (Lisa Vicari), and a coward Phillip (Lars Eldinger) are headed to the mountains in a Volvo.  Rumors persist that rain still exists above the tree line.  While foraging for supplies at an abandoned gas station, Tom (Stipe Erceg) tries to rob them.  He isn't a good robber, but because he knows cars, he is invited to join our trio.  Now a quartet, they head to the mountains with gas, water, and one CD (you guessed it...."99 Luftballons"). Halfway up a mountain, they drive into a trap.  Leonie is abducted and the Volvo is stolen.  Tom and Marie are bent on finding Leonie, and Phillip displays his yellow belly.  

After finding those invaders, the trio attempt to rescue Leonie.  This plot fails largely because of Phillip's lack of manhood.  Now Tom is also a captive...but of who?  Marie then goes it alone, as she is determined to find her sister, and possible new love interest.  Uh oh! Can you say TERMINUS? You TWD fans can.  Our invaders are a very moralistic band of cannibals, and Marie realizes she needs to work fast.  I won't deliver any spoilers here, but Marie turns into quite the warrior.  Even though she is outnumbered, and outgunned, Marie's new attitude will make the odds just about even as she prepares to battle her new nemesis.

Will Tom and Leonie be served up next to the wiener schnitzel?  Even if Marie is successful, does an oasis exist at the mountaintop?  Is there any truth to the rumor Nena is about to record "The 100th Luftballoon"?  Marie's evolution from a forager to warrior is very appealing.  She leaves no one behind, especially her sister, and nobly sets her sights on post-apocalyptic bully-gangs.  Available on Netflix, this is a perfect movie for TWD fans who can't wait for the next episode. 

     

Le Fear 2: Le Sequel, Orson Welles would have been Proud

I love old movies, especially Film Noir films.  The 1940s and 1950s were a fascinating era in Hollywood.  In making "Citizen Kane" and "The Lady From Shanghai," Orson Welles faced obstacles that bordered on the ridiculous.  Never mind the weather, or budget overruns...Mr. Welles had to battle the studios, his ego-maniacal cast, and the unions.  Even after completing his masterpieces, one ponders if this great movie-maker wondered if it was all worth it.  Hence today's entry, "Le Fear 2: Le Sequel."  This film, about the making of a film will hit the screen in 2015...so here is a preview.  Jason Croot has put together a film, that if alive today, Orson Welles would 100% be able to identify with.

The plot: Carlos Revalos (Kyri Saphiris, pictured above) seeks funding for his dream project.  He desires to make a Film Noir/horror film with vampires, gremlins, ghosts, UFOs and aliens, and other creatures...sounds good to me.  He gets swindled into putting up his life savings for the project (a half million pounds).  The day comes to commence filming and immediate bumps in the road occur.  His set consists of a small caravan (trailer) at the edge of a parking lot.  His crew?  Nollywood (Nigerian film industry) cast-offs.  Efi (Seye Adelekan) is his producer, and he enlists the help of many of Nollywood's less than finest.  Revalos has a dream, and dammit.....he's gonna make a movie.  Efi assures Revalos that all will be fine as Efi is best buds with Michael Jackson, who made "Lord of the Sting" and William Shakespeare used this same caravan.  Key in any horror film is the special FX, and Efi hires Africa (Roxy Sternberg).  Africa gets all the FX at the Dollar (pound if you live in the UK) Store (note the above pictured alien).

Let's be fair...not all is bleak.  The female lead (Denise Moreno, pictured above) is very seductive...but she quits halfway through the film. Her replacement is Japanese actress Lucy Lou (Aiko Horiuchi), who does not speak English.  Throw in a nymphomaniac make-up artist (bisexual, I might add), a witch doctor who wonders into camera shot (he's also from Nigeria) trying to sell phone cards from the Nigerian National Telephone Company, an actress (stripper?) playing a vampire straight out of an Ed Wood film, and the great B movie actor Dr. Strange.  Revalos' luck cascades downward as we progress through this film.  We feel sympathy for Revalos, as his goal was a noble one.  Can he salvage a film out of this mess?  Will his Nollywood cohorts ever attempt to get on the same page as their director?  Oh yes...you will also be treated to...as I call it, an alien exorcism scene.

This movie is hilarious, but we all can feel a bit of empathy toward Revalos' plight.  In our increasing multicultural societies, it is clear that we definitely are not marching to the beat of the same drummer (I think I said that right).  To give Revalos credit, he knew his dream was slipping away....unlike the makers of "47 Ronon" or "The Man With the Iron Fists."  In failure, there is comedy, and you will be laughing hysterically at the plight of Carlos Revalos in filming "Le Fear 2: Le Sequel."

 

Event Horizon, ....to Hell and Back

Before Paul W.S. Anderson (Mr. Milla Jovovich) gave us the "Resident Evil" movies, he directed the best sci-fi/horror film of the 1990s.  1997's "Event Horizon," like "Alien" mixes two genres, introduces us to a gritty crew, is set on a spooky and cavernous space ship, and is over-the-top gory.  The man with the extra initial takes us on a voyage that will cause nightmares.  Unlike "Alien," the antagonist in this film is....well..you'll see.

The plot:  It is the year 2047.  Seven years previous the space ship Event Horizon set course to explore the outer reaches of the solar system....or so the public was told.  Secret NSA files indicate the mission was a bit more far-reaching.  While in orbit around Neptune (see picture above), the Event Horizon disappeared without a trace (....so we are told).  Now, seven years later, the Event Horizon is back.....but from where?  The mysterious Dr. Weir (Sam Neill) joins a search and rescue crew on the space ship Lewis & Clark to meet up with the Event Horizon.  After some hyper-sleep, the Lewis & Clark rendezvous with our creepy ship in Neptune's orbit.  The grouchy crew, led by Captain Miller (Laurence Fishburne) demand Weir level with them.  Weir advises them the Event Horizon is equipped with a reactor (see photo below) that can move the ship faster than the speed of light by folding space.  Now the crew sets out to find survivors (there are none) and figure out where the Event Horizon was for the past seven years.

As the crew boards the space ship the creepiness intensifies.  Human guts are splattered all over the walls.  Some corpses are found and their eyes are gouged out.  Occasional human appendages float by.  Peters and Lt. Starck (Kathleen Quinlan and Joely Richardson) are able to get the Event Horizon back on line.  Meanwhile, Weir seems to be increasingly possessed by the ship.  As the crew uncovers the mystery of the fate of the Event Horizon's crew, Starck realizes the ship is alive.  Cryptic log entries indicate an orgy of blood-shed felled the former crew.  When the reactor mysteriously turns itself on, a burst of energy from the Event Horizon destroys the Lewis & Clark, thus everyone is now aboard our monster ship.  Each character is visited, through hallucination, by horrific episodes from their past, and the possession of Weir intensifies.  The death scenes are incredibly graphic, and pure evil has never been captured better on film since "The Exorcist."

As Weir joins forces with evil (....Satan?), the crew realizes where the Event Horizon has been for the past seven years.  Miller and his crew set out on a plan to destroy Weir, the reactor, and to save themselves.  They undertake incredibly heroic measures for the ultimate battle in space.  The entire movie is intense and highlighted by a pounding musical score (Michael Kamen).  Exciting and horrific, this is not a film for the squeamish.  The revelations uncovered by Miller and his crew are even more terrifying than the kills and gore...be warned.  Available on Netflix, DO NOT MISS "EVENT HORIZON."