Krauts! Yes...gotta love the Germans...Krauts! These war movies when our side calls them Krauts are so priceless. Germans don't yell and scream for us to stop using "the K-word." Gotta love them for that. You don't get fired from your job or banned from social media, even in Germany, for using the "K-word." Krauts! There! Today we have a war movie, entirely factual (not really) about Bigfoot's involvement in World War 2. I bet if we called Bigfoot a "Skunk Ape," the Bigfoot community would not yell and scream for us to stop using the "S-word." SKUNK! SKUNK! SKUNK! They probably even laugh at that term. Our feature today is 2026's "World War Bigfoot," directed by Jason Mills.
Secret missions abound. Sarge (Gavin Marck) leads a ragtag group of GIs into the European forests on a secret mission. The Germans have sent a similar team in. The Krauts and the Yankees...Ha! Yankees! The Y-word! Guess who is not getting wet in the panties because they were called the "Y-word"? Back to the plot. The Yanks and the Krauts battle and most die. The troops are scattered and two medics, the Yank Doc (Jason Benson) and a Kraut try to save some of the wounded...to no avail. Sarge survives and when asked about the mission by fellow GIs, he kills them. Uh oh...Bigfoot appears and he is wounded. Doc tries to save him and the Kraut medic tries to help...to no avail. Other Bigfoots witness this unsuccessful act of charity.
Meanwhile Sarge continues murdering any soldier, Yank or Kraut, who might compromise the secrecy of this mission...to secure a Bigfoot. Sarge finds Doc and Doc realizes there is something off about his commander. Sarge is intent on killing a Bigfoot and is delighted to find the dead one. Doc kind of likes The Bigfoot...even though it probably smells like a skunk...hence we can call it a Skunk Ape without being banned from civilization. The German medic is hiding because Sarge would surely kill him...though it is apparent that Sarge intends to off Doc. Growls in the distance suggest more and more Bigfoots are converging and do not appreciate humans waging war in their home.
Will Doc survive this insane mission and his mad commander? Will the Bigfoot community survive the human inflicted war in their forest? Will members of the Bigfoot community be appointed to governmental boards, or UN agencies, to make up for their marginalization by the world community in the past? This may be one of the most important World War 2 movies ever made...but probably not. Still, it is not as preachy as "Saving Private Ryan," and Krauts the world over will appreciate not being stereotyped in this film. So grab yourself a hotdog and add some sauerkraut, and enjoy "World War Bigfoot."



No comments:
Post a Comment