Back when this film was released in 1987, audiences may have been annoyed by it. Today, however, it is so much fun. For one, we look back at Marcia-Marcia-Marcia, Maureen McCormick, with fondness and now get to see her as a babe nymphomaniac-sadistic policewoman in uniform covered in blood. I know, we always hoped she would chop up Alice and bathe in her blood, but that old TV show never gave us that. Oh, George Clooney, also clad as a uniformed policeman, before he was George Clooney, is fun to see. Buckets of blood, dozens of severed limbs and heads, and much disembowelment highlight our feature today, "Return to Horror High," directed by Bill Froehlich.
A few years ago a massacre at Crippin High left many a sultry and hunk highschooler in pieces. A few years later, producer Harry Sleerik (Alex Rocco) brings a crew to the site to film a movie about it. The killer was never caught. Josh (Scott Jacoby), the director, wants to make a Stanley Kubrick-type film, but the budget just isn't there for that. The film will star Oliver (Clooney) as the cop who responded to this mess. He'll be chopped up pretty quickly leaving the actual cop, Steve (Brendan Hughes) as a fill-in. Now it should be mentioned the film actually opens with all the film crew in pieces on the front lawn of the school as the police chief (Pepper Martin) and Officer Tyler (McCormick) put the pieces together, limb by limb. Tyler is fantastic as she tries to seduce the chief in all her movement, even covered in blood.
Back to the previous day...what happened? The female lead is Callie (Lori Lethin) and she will don three roles here. She plays a nubile high school babe who has many locker room, seduction, and rape scenes. She objects to this and producer Harry muses, "Damn actresses, I shoulda made an animated horror film!" During filming Steve and Callie get close as members of the cast and crew start getting shredded or cut up. Callie and Steve will have pre-marital sex, figure out the killer is back, and try to find out who it is. Suspects are numerous and all signs point to the killer being a member of the crew or cast. As Callie is put in great peril, in the movie, and in the movie within the movie, sometimes it is hard to figure out which one is which. Nudity, gore, and an alluring Maureen McCormick as a frisky cop in uniform will keep us guessing and interested.
Could either Steve or Callie be the killer? Will the blood-crazed Marcia Brady, I mean Officer Tyler emerge as the killer? Are every member of the crew and cast really dead or is there something else going on here? Fans of 1980s horror and slasher films will love this one, though probably would not have back in the day. For a different way to look at Marcia Brady, see "Return to Horror High" and then binge-watch "The Brady Bunch" with a different mindset.
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