Saturday, August 6, 2022

Shark Bait, Spring Break Terror

Bikini babes and hunks!  Throw in some nice gore and a hungry great white shark...and we have the 2022 Tubi original "Shark Bait," directed by James Nunn.  It would be easy to say that we have a bunch of snot nosed college kids we want to see die horribly, here.  Be careful.  A hungry great white can be a wonderful means to maturity and heroism.  The bickering, silliness, and two-timing will give way to that maturity...if anyone survives.

They're drunk, partying, and mischievous.  Too bad they don't seem to be interested in pre-marital sex, or they may live longer.  Instead, the three drunk hunks, Tom (Jack Trueman), Tyler (Malachi Pullar-Latchman), and Greg (Thomas Flynn) steal two jet skis.  Tom's girl, Nat (Holly Earl) seems clean cut enough...this is probably why Tom is also screwing Milly (Catherine Hannay), who is Nat's BFF.  The drunk spring breakers head out into the ocean, very drunk, and wild with the jet skis.  Now they collide and are disabled...and lost.  The shoreline is nowhere in sight.  It's always fun until someone gets hurt...or gets his legs bitten off, as the saying goes. 

Greg is wounded and his blood beckons the perfect killing machine.  Hung over and childish, the survival of any of these babes and hunks seems a remote possibility.  Now it gets worse...slut Milly lets Nat know that she too is screwing her boyfriend, Tom.  Now Nat piles on the passive aggressive hostility as the shark pours on the very aggressive hostility.  As the great white prepares to engorge in the human buffet, the spring breakers begin undertaking some really bad plans for survival.  The bickering continues as the shark seems to get smarter.  The sun fries their skin and their immaturity prevent them from hatching a decent plan.  Then a herculean call to maturity and survival seeps into the plot...but is it too late?

Does slut Milly have any chance of surviving to the end credits?  Will Nat feed her two-timing main squeeze to the great white?  Would the shark be doing us all a favor in getting these five college kids out of the gene pool?  Gory and filled with cheese and beef, "Shark Bait" is a worthwhile shark film that will be enjoyed by many this summer.  

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