Mutiny in Outer Space, Killer Fauna Chasing Space Damsels

A perfect combo!  Heroic astronauts, beautiful space-damsels, and an alien moss determined to take over a space station are included in 1965's "Mutiny in Outer Space."  This sleeper is very well acted and written with plenty of horror and red-hot romance. Set in the 1990s and containing some steamy lip-locks between the stars William Leslie and Dolores Faith, this film will have you screaming one moment and looking for a cold shower the next.

Returning to Earth from some space exploration, Major Gordon Towers (Leslie) and Cpt. Webber (Carl Crow) stop off at a space station with some samples of moon fauna from a lunar ice cave.  They are guided in by the beautiful Lt. Connie Engstrom (Pamela Curran).  This space-babe has her sights on the station commander, Col. Cromwell (Richard Garland).  Uh oh, Cpt. Webber has an annoying itch..little does he know, a lunar moss has infected him.  Maj. Towers has a sultry main squeeze waiting for him on the space station, Faith Montaine (Faith).  Faith is the bio-chemist on the station and waits for Towers in his bed chamber. As the two get down to business, they are interrupted. Cpt. Webber has collapsed, and is being overtaken by a strange moss.  Dr. Hoffman (James Dobson) and Lt .Engstrom get him to sick bay, but Col. Cromwell denies anything weird is occurring.  Cromwell is obviously sick, a la Cpt. Queeg, and fears his station will be quarantined.  

Sensing Towers will disagree with his command decisions, Cromwell orders all communications with Earth to stop and for Towers to be confined to his cabin.  Towers tries to take command, but a meteor shower wounds the station causing moss to grow out of control.  As Cpt. Webber dies and the moss chases Faith, daring plans are formulated, but will it be too late?  With more of the crew infected, and Cromwell insane, Towers must escape his confinement, save Faith, kiss her some more, and hatch a scheme to repel the moss.  

The space-men are hunks and the space-women are statuesque in this effective sci-fi thriller.  Suspenseful, steamy, and quick-paced, you will forget that this film is low-budget.  Treat yourself to a wild space ride and find "Mutiny in Outer Space" on YouTube.  

The Big Bad, Werewolves do Long Island

We always knew there was something about Long Island.  More like Connecticut than New York, the Islanders have a bit of an identity crisis. What's more, half the island is probably a lycanthrope. Today we look at 2011's "The Big Bad."  Written and starring Jessi Gotta, this film is dark, eerie, and a bit spunky.  Directed by Bryan Enk, this horror film is definitely a bit different, and at times unmerciful.  So say goodbye to the New York Islanders you Long Islanders, and say hello to the werewolves.

Frankie (Gotta) has lost everything..and everyone.  It appears as if she wants revenge as she searches for the elusive Fenton (Timothy McCown Reynolds).  In her quest, she steps into a seedy bar where she meets Molly (Jessica Savage).  Molly is a pathetic creature, hardened by horrific experiences.  Frankie knows Molly has knowledge of Fenton, as Molly has a neck wound.  The two women both sport still bleeding bite wounds.  Being bitten by a werewolf has some deadly side-effects, and Molly's short term future will prove hairy.  Whatever bond Frankie and Molly developed will end dreadfully when Molly turns.  Uh oh...some secret cabal abducts Frankie and brings her to the mysterious Annabelle (Alan Rowe Kelly).  Annabelle also has a score to settle with Fenton and believes Frankie can lead her to him. Without giving spoilers, her stay at this compound will prove quite gory and will have you turning your head.

Alas, Frankie is no longer human, and she escapes in icky fashion.  Now on to her original quest...find Fenton, which she does.  The woman Frankie wanted blood, but she is no longer a woman.  The lycan Frankie....well she wants blood and something else which might be impossible. The two have a very philosophical meeting which will result in a significant body count.  Now changed, and a servant of the full moon, will Frankie alter her tune about revenge?

For those of you who like horrific endings to your horror movies...as opposed to the "live happily ever after" model..."The Big Bad" is for you.  Ms. Gotta is superb in her acting and writing for this film, and I believe will remind some of Katharine Isabelle, at times.  Available on Netflix, do not miss this sleeper.

Creature From the Black Lagoon, My Favorite Movie

Technically a B movie, "Creature From the Black Lagoon" (1954) is known as one of the greatest monster films ever.  Last March I attended Monsterpalooza in Burbank, California.  Lots of celebrities were there to sign autographs...but I only wanted one.  Julie Adams!  Ms. Adams played the beautiful swimming biologist (..in that white swimsuit).  She'll be 90 next year, but you'd never know it from meeting and talking with her.  After a short conversation, I purchased her book "The Lucky Southern Star," which she autographed with a nice inscription, and an autographed movie poster, also with a neat message inscribed.  She excelled in many movie roles other than CFBL, including westerns, and of course appeared in "General Hospital."  With some help from the best comic book artist in the world, Berk Balkac (all the artwork here is his), let us take a peek at one of the most fascinating films (...and this is a horror film) ever made.

 The question we all have, but never ask, is 'what was the creature intending to do with Kay (Adams)?' This question, which we all know the answer to, is a great reason why this film should never be remade.  A 2015 version of CFBL would undoubtedly delve into the creature's intentions.  In Roger Corman's "Humanoids From the Deep" (1980), the great movie maker obviously had our film in mind when beach babes were kidnapped by sea creatures and....well...you know.  The purity of Kay (symbolized with the white swimsuit) should never betrayed by exploring this question on film. Perhaps Ms. Adams' character was the 1950s version of Ann Darrow (Fay Wray) in "King Kong."

Like the huge ape from the 1933 classic, our creature, the gill man, was not evil.  Lonely and misunderstood are fitting descriptors for our green friend. As the white swimsuit symbolized the purity of Kay and her intentions, the green, brought out so nicely by Mr. Balkac, symbolized nature and an organic existence.  Sure he killed...but only after his habitat was invaded by some very menacing figures with a mechanized boat and sharp weapons.  

Though saved, and reunited with her love interest, we the viewer understand that in the years to come, Kay will feel a sadness at the ultimate fate of her green admirer.  Though we were on the edge of our seats praying Kay would be rescued and unsoiled by the creature, when the gill-man sunk to the depths of the lagoon...a sadness came over us.  Why?  Maybe in the creature, we saw some of ourselves.  We all have secret desires for treasures we could never have.  Teenagers who would see this film in 1954 could relate to the outcast who would never get the cheerleader.

In Mr. Balkac's above sketch, the gill-man is wide-eyed.  Balkac correctly captured the awe of our creature as he first sets eyes on his goddess.  Unable to possess the intellect to worship, lust will guide his actions and basest emotions as he is drawn uncontrollably to Kay.  In one sense horrifying, in one sense cute, the attraction to Kay has a purity to it that perhaps escapes modern day male-female relationships.

"Creature From the Black Lagoon" has so much for us, and not just from a Freudian perspective.  Great acting, a neat monster, a classic Henry Mancini score, and shocking horror all contribute to cement this film's status as a classic.  May a remake never be made, "Creature From the Black Lagoon" deserves the respect of the ages.

Planet of Dinosaurs, Creatures Eating Space-Babes

If you are like me, the latest "Jurassic Park" film had absolutely nothing for you.  I know ...conventional logic is the JP franchise has something for the entire family.  We are told these movies are frightening (...I know, but some think these are scary movies).  We are told that they have comedic elements that will appeal to young and old alike.  Etc. Etc. Etc.  I find these JP films annoying, preachy, and boring.  The CGI heavy monster movie, which throws annoying characters at us has as much creativity and uniqueness as Disney World.  You can have it.  For some real dinosaur fun, let us look at 1977's "Planet of Dinosaurs."  Space-Babes, grouchy hunks, lots of creatures, and all out war between humans and beasts, this 1970s campy feature is perfect summer time fun.

A crash landing dumps five hunks and four space-babes into a lake on an alien world.  The astral castaways swim to shore, but the beautiful Cindy (Mary Appleseth) decides to strip to her bra and panties (see picture above) and go for a swim.  She is eaten by a gator creature right away.  The survivors plunge inland and realize they are on a world dominated by dinosaurs.  Lee (Louie Lawless...no relation to Lucy) is the leader, but no one respects him.  He always wants to run from the creatures, but everyone else, including the babes, want to fight them and hunt them.  Nyla (Pamela Bottaro) was thinking of romancing him, but Lee's cowardice and indecision causes her to start to romance the brute, Jim (James Whitworth).  Jim grunts where Lee whimpers.  Jim wants to kill, Lee wants to compromise with the new environment. Nyla wants a real man. 

When Nyla is attacked by a monster spider, it is Jim who saves her.  Under Lee's command, the monsters continue to look at the survivors as a buffet.  Everyone, except Lee, learns how to man-up, even the resident skank, Derna (Derna Wylde).  Group cohesiveness begins to crumble.  Lee's rank is losing its luster, and our group starts making weapons.  The space-babes begin selecting their men, and Lee looks like the odd man out.  After the very shapely Derna goes down fighting to a T-Rex, and Charlotte (Charlotte Speer), the shapely nurse, is attacked by a raptor, our group makes a momentous decision.

Will Lee regain the respect of our castaways?  Will the real men of the crew and the space-babes get together and propel the human race on this alien world?  History shows that in 1977 America was looked at as a wimpish nation.  President Carter did nothing to show the world that America would stand up for freedom.  Then..."Planet of Dinosaurs" comes out showing that men can still be men and women can still be space-babes...and America was good again.  Available on YouTube, see "Planet of Dinosaurs" and ignore the latest "Jurassic Park" bore.

Plague, Don't Marry a Wuss

Australians have a way of slipping in some weird social commentary in their horror.  So, in a tale where a plague spreads through kangaroo land, and survivors must battle the infected...and each other, this horror story from Down Under implores young women to choose their spouse carefully. So to you young women out there....DON'T MARRY A WUSS!  Hence, 2015's "Plague."

A plague has hit, turning most of mankind into homicidal lunatics (a la "28 Days Later").  Evie (Tegan Crowley) is holed up in a shack deep in the Australian country, with about five companions.  Evie wants to stay as she believes her husband will find them.  The others want to leave, as there is no way Evie's husband could have survived.  After some carnage and infighting, Evie stays and her companions go....they won't get far.  Miracle...her husband, John (Scott Marcus) arrives.  He is a dweeb (wuss).  A social science type professor, completely ill-equipped to handle an apocalypse.  That is most unfortunate because a real man arrives, Charlie ( Steven Jianai).  Yep...John has asthma attacks...Charlie has a truck.  John cries...Charlie hunts. John complains...Charlie gets things done.

One small problem...Charlie is a psycho.  When John has a near fatal asthma attack, he demands Evie give him sex in exchange for him going to town to look for medicine.  Oh yes...don't even ask what Charlie is carrying around in the back of his truck.  As Charlie gets more aggressive and rapes Evie, John just whimpers and cries.  But wait!  There is hope. Jet fighters are seen in the sky...might there be a safe zone?  Before that can be realized, Charlie believes Evie is his and figures on getting rid of John.  Will John man up and fight for his woman?  

I won't spoil the ending, but let us just say that this is a pretty average film until the final five minutes...then...well, you'll see.  Whatever the themes of the apocalypse, what we learn from this film is that women do not want wusses in their men. In an age where most men seem to be less than heroic, here comes a warning from an Australian horror film.  Kudos to directors Nick Kozakis and Kosta Ouzas for giving us something a little bit different.  Available on Netflix.

Almost Mercy, Mass Murder and Twisted Teens

Sometimes we succeed at making our family and friends believe we are normal.  Then we goof!  Something we just can't help.  I myself fall into this trap, often.  We describe a movie we just watched.  As we get animated and inspired by a work of art from the horror genre, our companions are aghast.  They shake their heads and let us know how sick and twisted we are. Be warned, "Almost Mercy" from 2015, is a movie that will earn you that sick and twisted label.  For those of you who like dark, gory, horrific to the bone screamfests, "Almost Mercy" will satisfy your yearning for something repulsive, though it will not win you any friends.

The dread and evil which will prevail in this film permeate the viewing experience from the first minute.  Emily (Danielle Guldin) and Jackson (Jesse Dufault) are doomed outcasts in a Rhode Island town.  They don't fit in, and are considered bottom feeders by their classmates and teachers.  Always bullied and teased, the two become friends.  Rejected by upstanding society, Emily and Jackson have also been victimized by that society.  Both our anti-heroes will be raped, beat up, and humiliated. When one of the bullies is killed in a murder-suicide, Emily remarks, "...one less a**hole in the world."  We sense where these two are headed, but if we are honest with ourselves.....we are on their side (perhaps that is what makes this story most horrifying).

We meet the scum who torment our duo.  Kane Hodder plays the high school gym teacher who has always desired to get into Emily's pants.  Sanity will not rule the day, and Jackson begins to act on his very taboo plan.  No spoilers here, but everything in this Tom DeNucci directed film is designed to make you uncomfortable, including the affection you will develop for Emily and Jackson. Uh oh....Jackson has amassed enough firearms to supply a third world nation.  We know Jackson's plan before he relates it to Emily, and it is on a grand scale....think Columbine.  The final 30 minutes of this film will be even more difficult to watch than the first hour.  Gore and vengeance (...disguised as revenge) will rule the day.  No good guys here, but you will take sides.

Whatever horror spurts onto the screen, the fact that Emily says and thinks a lot of stuff that we ourselves thought (...but never dared to say) when we were children, might be the real horror. Hard core horror fans, not looking for the feel-good film of the millennium, will love "Almost Mercy." Others....well, let's us just say that Tom DeNucci ("Self Storage") didn't mind crossing the line (...which is why we love his work).  Available on Netflix. 

Beneath, the Horrors of 'Bring Your Daughter to Work Day'

Every year we had to endure Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.  No one said anything....but what a pain!  Mom's would empty out daycare centers of their little girls, who would bring their addictions to being entertained to the workplace.  Moon-bounces and cook-out grills would take up half the parking spaces, and most employees would not be available to do what they are actually being paid to do.  Since I worked for the federal government, I saw this day as an excuse to rip-off the taxpayer of a day's pay.  However annoying, most of these occasions did not result in ax-wielding creatures, cannibalism, explosions, and murder.  This brings us to today's film, 2013's "Beneath."

In defense of George (Jeff Fahey), his daughter is a 26 year old babe.  It is his last day as a miner after a 35 year career.  Sam (Kelly Noonan) is a new environmental lawyer, and she wants to see what her dad was up to over the last 35 years.  NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!!!  What could go wrong? All right, stupid question.  Cave in!  About 10 miners trapped well below the surface.  The survivors have a safety module with air where they can wait for the rescue. Uh oh....that's too easy.  George and Sam's old BF, Randy (Joey Kern) keep her calm.  Content to ride out the cave-in in the module, our survivors aren't as safe as they think.  Screams are heard outside and movement is detected.  George, Randy, Sam and a couple of others then go on a search and rescue...but for who (...or what)? 

Then some corpses are found....impaled with a pick-ax and gutted.  Shapes move beyond the shadows, and our survivors realize they are not alone.  George tells of a cave-in over 50 years ago where the miners were never found.  Legend has it that they survived and ate each other.  Might they still exist?  Sam is a trooper, but she is afraid.  As they make it back to the module, more eerie sights and sounds emanate from the darkness and sabotage hits.  Their five days worth of oxygen is gone.  Sam becomes a classic damsel in distress as a supposed mole-man chases her with a pick-ax. The last 30 minutes turn most gory, and you will be reminded of the original "My Bloody Valentine." An experienced horror aficionado will probably guess what is going on, but not all is what it seems. There is good news..at least Sam (unlike the little girls of federal employees) knows her dad did not go to work to play on moon-bounces and eat snow-cones. The ending is creepy and will have you agape.  

Perhaps a metaphor for the evils of Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.  Or perhaps a good old-fashioned slasher/horror flick.  The acting is good, and the horror is claustrophobic.  Director Ben Ketai does an effective job delivering carnage and keeping the viewer guessing.  Those who have endured Bring Your Daughter to Work Day will know exactly why this film begins with the caption, "Based on True Events."  Available on Netflix, enjoy "Beneath."