Today we have the magnum opus of Susan Elle. Perhaps this isn't saying much, but she is matched up with Michael Pare and does go mano y mano with a hideous swamp creature born out of mutated algae. Take that, Scarlett Johansson! She'll even whack the thing with a frying pan a couple of times. Anyway, Info-Babes are always annoying and we always love to see them shredded, even in movies, but Miss Elle is kind of cute, so we do desire her to prevail against the monstrosity that emerges from the swamps. Our feature today is a film that demanded to be made, 2022's "The Red Tide Massacre," directed by John A. Russo.
Al (Rich Sands) is a cop killer who escapes from prison and is chased through the Florida swamps by the sheriff's department. Sheriff Fuller (Pare) shoots him a bunch and Al falls into the swamp which is laced with red tide. What is red tide? This movie won't tell you, so never mind. Yep, the red tide turns him into a twisted version of The Creature from the Black Lagoon. Rio Lee (Elle) is on the story and annoys Sheriff Fuller, even though the bait shop owner/deputy son of the sheriff, Tommy (Sam Schweikert) falls in love with her. The two romance as Tommy dumps his hot former GF, a marine biologist scientist, Kara (Gina Vitori). Okay, Al, now a hideous creature, shreds babes in bikinis, their boyfriends, babes in short shorts, their boyfriends, county workers...well, let's juts say he murders a massive amount of Floridians in this one.
Rio Lee tries to get info for the newscast from Sheriff Fuller...who just puts her off. The TV reporterette may have an annoying voice, but she is cute and Tommy and her get quite close as the creature kills lifeguards, wealthy couples in hot tubs...and just about anyone who lives in Florida. Sheriff Fuller continues his efforts to kill the creature. Oh, to make matters more difficult, an old crazy guy (Duane Whitaker) is perpetuating a skunk ape (Bigfoot) prank on the community, which only throws the sheriff and Rio off track. No matter, the phony skunk ape will have an opportunity to meet the newest creature in the Florida everglades.
Will Rio and Tommy engage in pre-marital sex, resulting in a catfight with Kara, and perhaps some skinny-dipping that lures the creature? Will Michael Pare wrestle Rio Lee away from his son, as he has more earning power? Is there an Emmy for Rio Lee for her hard hitting reporting on skunk apes, red tide, and newly formed creatures borne out of mutant algae? This is a fun one and if you loved those old made for Syfy-TV movies, you will love "The Red Tide Massacre."
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