A hard one to defend? Not at all! See, tonight the Oscars will heap a lot of praise and bling on a stupid woke so-called movie about a cartel boss who wants to undergo a sex change operation. Oh, it is a musical, in the style of "Cop Rock." If that film is Oscar material, our vampire film starring Michael Pare is pure artistry. Anyway, a non-woke film that dares to portray BLM and woke liberals as the idiots that they are. I was surprised...but pleased at this. Our feature today is 2024's "The Vampire and the Vigilante," directed by Rene Perez.
She's sultry...a siren! A real, honest to goodness seductress. Tori (Samantha Kruse)! Wow! She has great big...well, a great big smile, let's say. Her job is to lure men into the dwelling of a hideous vampire she calls Master (Tony Jackson). She does this well. Enter bounty hunter/hired killer Gabriel (Pare). He has captured a pedophile who is also a serial killer (Dominic Collantes). Okay, also enter the pure and good babe Natalie (Emily Whitcomb). Her roomie accuses her of being a racist and for owning slaves. The roomie's BLM boyfriend steals Natalie's money and knocks her out. When Natalie wakes up, the two have left for a Kamala Harris rally, and Tori is there to capture her. See, The Master has tasked Tori to bring him a pure woman who he can eat as she takes her clothes off. I know what you are thinking, but this is not a remake of 1993's "Shadowlands."
Now Natalie wakes, after being knocked out by Tori, in the Master's lair. He has her start doing a striptease and bites her. Shocked, Natalie runs and escapes. She flees and finally ends up in a warehouse where Gabriel is torturing the pedophile fiend. Surprised to see a vampire (which Natalie is, now), he shoots her. Natalie dies and comes back to life. Gabriel and Natalie are fascinated by one another even as the killer escapes. Natalie needs blood and Gabriel seems amenable to getting her some. That's enough of the plot. You may see where this is going.
Just how does Gabriel plan on feeding the sultry but toothy Natalie? Any chance of feeding the two Kamala Harris voters to Natalie...after all, they did assault her and take her money? Any chance of a wild catfight between the now vampire Natalie and the siren Tori? This is such an enjoyable one and if you have seen any of the films that will be heralded at the Academy Awards show...you deserve to see "The Vampire and the Vigilante."
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