Termite: The Walls Have Eyes, Anxiety Ridden Damsel

There are lunatics out there. A good question to ask yourself, "are lunatics always delusional." Sure, they spout off about the CIA listening to their thoughts through their dental fillings. Yes, they tell us about UFO's following them. Oh yes, they often remark that we are all plotting against them. Just because they are under heavy psychiatric care, and prescribed several medications...might UFO's be after them...and are we all against them...and may the CIA be listening to their thoughts? In 2011's "Termite: The Walls Have Eyes," directed by John Walcutt, we will meet a cute and perky...well, supposed lunatic.

Airy Splendor (Jennie Marie Pacelli) is an anxiety ridden 18 year-old. Losing her job has prevented her from getting her anxiety meds refilled. Her delusions and hallucinations are increasing. There is good news...she has a new job. She's the receptionist at a modelling agency. Perky and bubbly, she seems the perfect fit. Uh oh...this may not be working. She sees peep-holes that no one else sees. Usually they are in the women's room stalls or below her desk. Indications is that someone is behind the walls staring at Airy as she goes potty. No one else sees these holes and her boss Mrs. French (Jeanne Taylor) might have to fire her. Sultry bikini models are photographed by Dave (Jesse Golden) daily and Airy believes they are all being peeped at as they change into bikinis.

Now Airy's anxiety seems to be getting the best of her. Suppressing her attraction to Dave, she imagines him as a vicious rapist. In fact every man  she meets is viewed by her as a killer/rapist. Then she gets mysterious phone calls and a video of her going to the bathroom is sent to her laptop. Are these real or her own imagination? We get a look at Airy's backstory and it is sordid. The panic-stricken receptionist is now unable to decipher her nightmarish fears from reality...and the body count is about to begin.

Is Airy a lunatic, or is there really someone behind the walls...watching? Are the bikini models, and they are quite sultry, in danger from this peeping-pervert...or from the increasingly insane Airy? Will Airy's suppressed attraction to men play out in an insane blood feast? Ms. Pacelli is extraordinary in the role of the supposed lunatic. For a quirky and fast-paced thriller. (with some fantastic bikini cheesecake)..see "Termite: The Walls Have Eyes."

Cheerleader Chainsaw Chicks, Powersaws and 80s Rock

Okay, I know...today's feature gets a 2.1/10 rating on IMDB. But...if "The English Patient" gets a 7.6/10 rating, 2018's "Cheerleader Chainsaw Chicks" is a 9.8/10 film. Okay, one may suggest this is a flawed effort...perhaps, but it is a far better film than "Thor," "The English Patient," and "The Dark Knight." We have some lovely protagonists doing stupid things and saying inane logic. Most of all...something about this offering was pure fun. Directed by Virginia Perfili, don't be ashamed to put this one on.

A cheerleader trio, Michelle (Alexis Giller), Andrea (Chloe White), and Pamela (Calli Hynes) drive to a cheerleading camp/competition on the other side of L.A. They get there and meet the sweaty lumberjack maintenance man, Diesel (David Moore). They then meet the camp director, Axel (Quinn Sharrow). He's a hunk and will take the lovely trio on a mystical musical tour through 80s Rock. The gals will enjoy this and discover Axel is a suave guy who is also in movies. Awe struck, the trio hop around a bit, sunbathe, practice a little and flirt with Axel. Oh yeah, Lana (Elizabeth Smith), a cheerleader from Yugoslavia shows up alone...her teammates didn't make it through customs.

Everyone will dance and enjoy more 80s nostalgia. Uh oh...someone robbed a government installation of...stuff. The cheerleaders find the stolen stuff. Bad news for them, the bad guys know the cheerleaders have their stuff. The bad guys kidnap Michelle's dog. If Michelle wants her dog back, she'll have to cough up the stuff. Axel to the rescue, he has a plan. Now the four cheerleaders arm themselves and set a trap for the thieves. They don their cheerleader garb, grab chainsaws, hedge-clippers, weed-whackers, and other stuff. The exchange is arranged and war is imminent.

Will any of our trio, or Lana have pre-marital sex with Axel? Is this film an attempt to revive the "Charlie's Angels" theme? When did Yugoslavia reunify...and does that mean Arch Duke Ferdinand has returned? Hey...a film about cheerleaders is so more preferable than anything Meryl Streep has ever given us. For some weird and frivolous fun, see "Cheerleader Chainsaw Chicks, " and then boast to all your friends and colleagues that you saw this film.

The Strangler, Pretty Nurses Assume Room Temperature

Such a waste of medical talent. In a day when all nurses were babes clad in white, film noir movie-makers didn't waste exploitation opportunities. Today we have a heartbreaking tale in which some sultry angels in white are slaughtered having never having a chance. Today we look at 1964's "The Strangler," directed by Burt Topper.

The movie begins with a psychopath's eight murder. As pretty nurse Helen (Selette Cole) arrives home and strips out of her clothes, Leo (Victor Buono) strikes. The hulking fat and sweaty pervert uses the nurse's own stockings to strangle them to death. He leaves a stripped doll at the crime scenes. The cops, headed by Lt. Frank Benson (David McLean) are perplexed. Who is Leo? A fat nerdy guy with a domineering mother (Ellen Corby). The mom keeps reminding him he's fat and doesn't understand why he doesn't visit her more often in the health-care facility. Leo secretly wants his mother to die. Uh oh...mom gets a sultry blonde nurse, Clara (Jeanne Bates). Clara has a great bedside manner and Leo is worried her care will extend his mom's life. Leo follows Clara home and strangles her to death.

The cops are desperate. Clues? But wait! Leo is infatuated by a pretty Tally (Davey Davison). She man's a ring-booth at Fun-Land. He goes every night and wins baby dolls...the same ones found at the crime scene. Tally has a pretty partner, Barbara (Diane Sayer). When the cops arrive to investigate the doll prizes they give away, Leo is watching. Now Barbara and Tally are in Leo's cross-hairs.  Oh no! We like these two beauties a lot, but Leo has secrets he needs kept...secret. He also has delusional fantasies about Tally and he is ready to put them in motion.

Will the two ring-booth beauties survive the wrath of Leo the pervert? Will deviating from nurse victims help or confuse the police seeking to find Leo? Would the pretty nurses have fared better if the 1960s American population had adopted a "Where all in this together" mentality? The murders are hard to watch and gratuitously filmed. For a nice Film Noir homicide story with gratuitous murders of beautiful women, see "The Strangler."

Psychophonia, Phone Calls From Beyond

Our new smart phones are amazing. All sorts of apps doing neat stuff. We can keep track of space stations, ocean liners, and celebrities. I'm sure there is a limit to what are phones can do. Not in 2016's "Psychophonia" (aka "Deadly Signal"), however. For a very pretty damsel in distress, the smart phone receives calls from 'the other side,' which just might save her life.

A loving couple, Lilli (Dedette Lim) and Jeremy (Mitchell Fink) awake one morning. Jeremy goes out for a jog...and is brutally murdered. After his death, the killer castrates him. Detective Becker (Daniel Quinn) breaks the news to Lilli. She is distraught and shocked. It gets worse. Lilli keeps receiving calls from Jeremy's phone, including one 20 minutes after his death. The phone company says there is no record of the calls. It gets seedy,now. Jeremy had a secret life. A free love cult filled with perverted swingers apparently took up his spare time. Now Lilli calls a paranormal investigator, Dennis (Andrew W. Walker). He's useless except for pre-marital sex.

Now Lilli investigates and infiltrates the free-love cult. Surprise...some lesbian action between Lilli and Jeremy's first wife, Angel (Jennimay Walker) result.  Uh oh again, the cult leader Rudger (Mark Gantt) oozes of a psycho-cult-killer in everything he says and does. Jeremy keeps calling Lilli...never able to speak. Now Lilli gets all sexed up, plows deep into the free-love thing...and sets herself up to be the next victim.

Will Lilli uncover her husband's killer? Will the useless paranormal investigator do anything worthwhile...other than the Venus Butterfly? Just what are the motives of Jeremy's sultry ex-wife, Angel? This is a neat paranormal thriller with many erotic undertones. For a taste of the otherworldly, with some kinky eroticism thrown in, see "Psychophonia."

Knifepoint. Depraved and Uber Gratuitous

Of the more than 1300 films reviewed on this blog, this one might be the most depraved and vicious. Warning...stop reading here is you have said, "I'm not watching that, even I have my limits," in the past five years. Otherwise, enjoy! 2011's "Knifepoint," directed by Jed Strahm is our feature today...and you have been warned. You will watch this film and be saying to yourself, "Oh no! Surely they aren't going to show that!" Yep...they show it.

Two sultry sisters reside in a posh and secure Venice (California) apartment complex. Abbie (Katherine Randolph) also cares for her recently paralyzed sister Michele (Krista Braun). How did Michele get paralyzed...well, you'll hear the backstory and it will be filled with gratuitous bathtub scenes, naked cat-fighting, and female bath tub wrestling...if you must know. What does that have to do with Michele being paralyzed? Nothing! Then the psycho gang arrives. They have just finished murdering everyone else in the apartment complex...everyone! They'll gratuitously rape the paralyzed Michelle and Abbie. They'll rape them in front...in back...some lesbian rape...some dildo rape...and some dagger rape...and they'll keep doing it. Okay, I warned you earlier...stop complaining.

As Michele and Abbie kill a lot of the gang, in gory fashion...don't ask, you'll see, psycho-bitch Lorraine (Kym Jackson) gets irate. She'll rape the duo some more, stab them, humiliate them, and when Abbie's fiance walks in, she'll rape him. Lorraine is out of control and will take a knife to Michele's groin and  [CENSORED].  Then the duo's parents and little brother arrive. The gang will rape the dad and [CENSORED]. As gang members and family members die horribly, the fate of Abbie and Michele seems grim...in fact, their fate will be far worse than grim.

Do Abbie and Michele have any shot at surviving this carnage? Is this a type of carnage that they will want to survive, or may death be preferable? How about psycho-bitch Lorraine...will her fate be a bloody one? You have been warned...I left out most of the gore, killings, carnage, and rape descriptions. Not the feel good film of 2011, and not for the Disney crowd. If you want hard-core exploitation and violence, see "Knifepoint."

Hatchetman, Fiend Slices Up Strippers

Yes! A straight-to-DVD, low budget, exploitation epic...with strippers! Oops, sorry...exotic dancers. There will be much cheesecake, gratuitous strip...er...exotic dances, gratuitous shower scenes, pre-marital sex, and graphic hatchet killings. 2003's "Hatchetman," directed by Robert Tiffe has everything we want as far as modern day sexploitation and slasher films go. The beautiful will die quite horribly and the killer is a perfect slasher villain.

Exotic dancer Brittany (Fonta Sawyer) is taken apart by a hatchet mas who absconds with her hands. The suspect is her violent ex-boyfriend Daniel (Daniel Brown). Her colleagues are terrified but still give it their all on stage. Claudia (Cheryl Burns) is a terrific performer and applying to law school. She dates and has a lot of pre-marital sex with Sonny (John Briddell), the detective . Uh oh, another of Claudia's colleagues, Michelle (Elizabeth Ryan).gets axed up the next night...and her hands are missing. Sonny is on the case and the whole department is still searching for Daniel.

Gratuitous shower scenes and more gratuitous exotic dance numbers occur. The dancers all live at the same apartment complex where some pervert sneaks into their bedrooms to steal their panties. Oh yeah...Rob (Chris Moir) has installed hidden cameras in the dancers' bedrooms so he can get his own private shows. So yes...Daniel isn't the only suspect. Meanwhile, the grouchy Star (Mia Zottoli) yells a lot at the other girls, takes a gratuitous shower, and keeps dancing. Rob is infatuated by her and when she turns up dead, and missing hands, he becomes a suspect. More ladies will die and Claudia gets accepted to law school and Sonny buys her a ring...so sweet. Our killer gets bolder and the cops still don't have any leads on Daniel's whereabouts.

Will any of our exotic dancers survive the wrath of the hand stealing hatchetman? If any ladies do survive, will they celebrate with more gratuitous showers? Will Claudia lose our sympathies as she begins her transition from exotic dancer to...lawyer? This is a bloody and gratuitous one. If excessive nudity and gore offend you, go watch some boring Cate Blanchett film. For a great tale of when the misogyny of men meets the exhibitionist tendencies of women...see "Hatchetman."

The Undertaker, Necrophilia and Other Sick Horror

I admit it...today's feature is a sick one. Yep...no redeeming value here. Perversion and sick horror! This one only tickles our prurient senses making us more depraved every minute we leave it on. Still, this one is much more preferable than any film Cate Blanchett or Daniel Day Lewis have ever done...1988's "The Undertaker." You have been warned...feel free to stop reading now.

Roscoe (Joe Spinell) is a weird and sweaty undertaker. He likes to have sex with corpses as he disembowels them. Okay...stop...I warned you not to read any further...but did you listen? Yep, as our film begins he collects Mary (Linda Ipanema), a beauty with a tight skirt and some nice heels. So sad, he'll slit her throat and...well, you'll see. After a gratuitous strip out of naughty undies scene, Jean (Mette Holt), the mayor's sultry secretary, is next. So sad. I'm not even going to tell you about Nancy (Lisa Vondal) and Angela (Nita Kling)...you won't believe it. Who can stop him? Fortunately at the university there is a babe professor, Pam (Rebecca Varon) who loves doing gratuitous aerobics, and is an expert on...necrophilia! I wonder if she's in the Women's Studies Department?

One of her students's, the hunk Nick (Patrick Askins) is also Roscoe's nephew. He has witnessed his uncle doing the naughty deed to the babe corpses. He tells Pam and now she investigates. She will not do too much investigating as she and her room-mate Mandy (Susan Bachli) will get naked a lot and have steamy pre-marital sex with their boy toys a lot. Roscoe keeps finding babes to abduct, torture, disembowel, and rape. As Pam is drawn into much danger, and Mandy...well, you won't believe what Roscoe does to the sultry Mandy. As Roscoe's rampage ramps up...Pam's inferior investigation skills get more babes killed.

The ending is shocking and you will need many showers to clean this grime off you. Will the nubile Pam engage in pre-marital sex with her student Nick and/or end up as Roscoe's cold love toys? Is Necrophilia a subject we absolutely don't need a horror film about? Is Pam's university breaking down sexual barriers by offering necrophilia courses? Perhaps a statement on the modern intellectual movement of America's university system...or perhaps a mere gratuitous sexual offering for the true sickos out there...either way, you have been warned, but if you have the choice between the 1980s horror extremity or a Daniel Day Lewis bore-a-thon....well, you may surprise yourself and choose "The Undertaker."