Bittertooth, Podcasters and Serial Killers

Let me vent. You go to Costco. Guy in front of you in line, looks normal. He's not. He's a total psycho. Gal behind you in same line, looks normal. She's not...she's psycho! Okay, good segue into our film today. When two podcaster babes delve into the sub-genre of true crime, they will get a little too close to an actual serial killer. But wait! Don't we all go a little psycho sometimes?  Should we be quick to judge those we call psychos? Don't serial killers have worth?  Aren't we all just one traumatic event from being one ourselves? Let us be inclusive of the psycho-community as we look at a 2023's Monte Light film, "Bittertooth."

Only Fans model Ivy (Autumn Ivy) teams up with hot Asian babe Mia (Genevieve Thomas, aka Autumn Lee) to chronicle the most infamous serial killers in their true crime podcast. Both are "survivors," and have prevailed through horrible crimes. Meanwhile, serial killer David Lee Dawes (Joe Altieri) murders his latest babe victim (Michaela Ivey) on his farm. Uh oh for David, our two babe podcasters decide to pry into the murders committed by him. The cops label the murderer the Bittertooth killer. Guess what!  Ivy is boinking David Lee's son, Flint (Justin Michael Terry). Flint? Hunk! Seemingly sane, but who in our lives is really sane? Okay, editorial comment...disregard! Flint plots with Ivy to hand his dad over to them.  Catching and proving David as a serial killer would be big for likes, views, and sponsorships. Uh oh again, the woke biases of Mia and Ivy may serve to skew their semi-good judgment...you'll see.

We get a good look at Mia's history...or so we think.  We get a good look at Ivy's history...or so we think. Twists will abound and Monte Light will take you on a horrific ride where nothing is as it seemed. Fear not...there will be gore.  There will be murder.  There will be a chainsaw. There will also be a final confrontation though it may surprise you who it is between.  Ivy and Mia will place themselves in great danger as David Lee is quite the experienced serial killer.  Everything else in this film will have to settle around that. 

Will pretty and vulnerable Mia stand a chance against the brutality of the situation Ivy has got her into? Are Ivy's ambitions for this fledgling podcast going to serve as her downfall as the subject matter comes knocking on her door?  Here's the big question...just who are the psychos in this film? Surprising, shocking, and brutal, see "Bittertooth" and be prepared to scream "OMG!" BTW...kudos to Joe Altieri for his fine rendition of one of my favorite hymns toward the end of this film!

Subspecies, Vampire Brothers and American Babes

Okay, I need to start off by saying this is a pretty good vampire film. Full Moon Entertainment did a nice job. Scary vampires, cute little demonoids, and Angus Scrimm. The three babes in this film? Well, yes they are babes.  It's just that...well, the leading lady as an American college student, and the good and handsome vampire are...well...they look like each other.  When they suck face it is weird. Picture yourself kissing your image in the mirror...yuck.  But!  If you can look beyond that, 1991's "Subspecies," directed by Ted Nicolaou is a good take.

Okay, Angus Scrimm is a vampire king with two sons.  The evil one, Radu (Anders Hove) is frightening and looks like Nosferatu on steroids.  He also has little demonoids that accompany him everywhere. He murders his dad because his dad was going to give the bloodstone to the other brother, Stefan (Michael Watson). Now Stefan has the bloodstone...and this stone is...well...important. Enter a couple of American babes doing research on Transylvanian folklore. They come riding into town like a CIA-backed NGO. The giggly babes, Michelle (Laura MacTate) and Lillian (Michelle McBride) meet up with their friend, local Mara (Irina Movila). The trio are bent on learning about the local folklore but catch the attention of Radu... now he wants them.  Stefan arrives, masquerading as a zoologist... American babes will believe anything!  He falls in ,love with himself...I mean Michelle.  

Okay, now Radu is determined to bite all three and deprive Stefan of the pleasure.  Since he has the bloodstone, Radu is in a position of advantage.  He grabs Mara, rips her clothes off, and chains her in a dungeon. In America there are clubs that do this in every college town. In Transylvania, this is anti-social behavior that cause the citizenry to take up torches and stakes. Stefan now must fight to protect himself...er, I mean Michelle. Lillian? Well, in Transylvania it does not pay to be the third wheel. We can see it a mile away, a duel to the death seems imminent between vampire brothers.

Atmospheric and melodramatic, the vampire and demonoid f/x are terrific.  Will the American babes and Mara keep their humanity?  Will either of the vampires make Michelle a vampire bride?  A zoologist?  How dumb are American coeds? This is a terrific franchise, written in part by Charles Band.  For a nice vampire film, perhaps mis-cast in some places, see "Subspecies."  

Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker, Ick-Fest from the 1980s

1980s horror films...can't beat them. Today we have one that will make you squirm in discomfort. The ick-factor will be caused by more than just gore. Sure, this one has some nice gore, but the taboo nature of this film is front and center. Today we look at 1981's "Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker," directed by William Asher. After watching this one you will feel as if you have been slimed.

Billy's (Jimmy McNichol) parents are killed in a gory and suspicious automobile accident. Their car meets a logging truck in a scene the "Final Destination" franchise would be proud of. Now Billy is raised by his Aunt Cheryl (Susan Tyrell). 14 years later, Billy is a wonderful high school basketball player seeking a college scholarship. Cheryl is a doting aunt...too doting. She loves going into Billy's bedroom when he's asleep and caressing him. Yep...you see what's going on here. She loves Billy so much she does not want him to go to college. Uh oh...Cheryl needs deviant sex and lures a TV repairman (Steve Eastin) and tries to seduce him. This won't work and sends Cheryl into a bloody rage. She'll gut him. Billy walks in on this murder and then the cops arrive. Detective Joe (Bo Svenson) believes Billy killed the repairman in a homosexual dispute. See, Detective Joe is not the most inclusive of cops.

Okay, now Cheryl goes full force in sabotaging Billy's efforts to attain a scholarship. She'll drug him before basketball games. Oh! Cheryl has a secret room with ungodly contents in it. In this room is the key to her past. Even more horrific, is the key to what really happened to Billy's parents. The revelations that are coming are very taboo and icky. Oh! the nubile Julie (Julia Duffy). Cheryl will be sent into a homicidal rage when she catches Billy and Julie having pre-marital sex. Detective Joe pushes his homosexual rage theory in trying to bust Billy...and what follows is something twisted and deviant. As if she weren't psycho enough, Cheryl's sanity goes out the window. Now she goes full force Norman Bates with a machete, an axe, and icky seduction. 

What will psycho Cheryl do to the nubile Julie?  What does Cheryl's secret room contain? What exactly did happen to Billy's parents 14 years previous? You'll need a long shower after watching this one. Nothing about this film can be considered heartwarming or sweet. For a squirm-inducing 1980s horror film, see "Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker."

Blood of the Mummy, Bikini Pool Party Massacre

Alright!  I granted.  This is a flawed film. Still...is there such a thing as a bad movie that includes a bikini/pool party massacre scene? Even better...two of the bikini babe damsels are Clara Hawn and Kaylee Kress!  Ms. Hawn and Ms. Kress? Well...they are in...this movie!  A movie with a bikini/pool party massacre scene!  Kate Winslet never made it into any movies with that in it. Yeah, yeah...this film does make ancient Egypt and 3000 year old mummies look boring.  But!  That is what bikini/pool party massacre scenes are for. Sadly, Ms. Hawn will lose her head and Ms. Kress will...well, it won't be good. Today, from 2019, we look at Christine Parker's "Blood of the Mummy."

Louise (Laura Bridges) has a lot of explaining to do. Anyone in her life that has given her trouble has ended up with their heads pulled off, their organs pulled out, their limbs pulled off, etc. Sadly, Monica and Allison (our two aforementioned bikini babes), find this out the hard way. Okay, Louise will have a chance to explain all this to a psychiatrist (Bill Mulligan) in an asylum for the criminally insane. Did she do all this carnage? Well...if you believe her, a 3000 year old mummy who watches out for her, almost like a guardian angel, is responsible. This would make sense as the mummy (Terrance Watson) murdered her archaeologist mom and dad many years ago on a dig in Egypt.

Okay...Louise never shuts up in this film. She yaps and yaps. Why can't she be like most psychos in institutions and shut up! She doesn't and falls in love with another patient in the asylum, Asim (Justin Cole). I know...is it really a good idea to find your mate in a mental asylum? Okay, quiet!  I hear you divorced guys out there...not a peep out of you. When the shrink recommends electro-shock therapy, Louise finds memories of herself in ancient Egypt, plotting to murder the king (her husband), and abscond with Kharis (Tremayne Blair). This won't go well and the consequences will extend into the 21st century.

Bloody and at times erotic, this flawed movie with a beset broad that won't shut up does have appeal.  In addition to a bikini massacre scene, the gore level is pretty good. Hearts will be ripped out. Brains will be ripped out. Spines will be ripped out. Etc... Will Louise keep Asim as a lover or will she be able to rekindle her 3000 year old romance with Kharis? Will our two dead bikini babes find themselves coming back to life in a sequel? Are romances starting at mental asylums a good metaphor for the dating scene on American college campuses? Hey, this is a fun one. See "Blood of the Mummy" and don't feel you have to explain your movie taste to anyone.

Cataclysm, The Omen on Steroids

Today we have Richard Moll's magnum opus! Yep, that guy on "Night Court." What! You didn't know he had a magnum opus? Well...he does. He'll play the author of the great bore-athon of a best-seller God is Dead.  Yawn.  You ever meet these atheists? Sanctimonious bores...there I go again, passing judgment. Back to the matter at hand. A few years after "The Omen" made the 666 tattoo famous, no one really tried to copy it until this 1980's film. So let us look at a film about Satan and that silly 666 tattoo. Our feature today is "Cataclysm," directed by the unholy trinity of movie making, Phillip Marshak, Tom McGowan, and Gregg G. Tallas.

Okay, babe Claire (Faith Clift) is the sultry wife of atheist author James (Moll). Claire is such a devoted Catholic that she marries an atheist...I won't pass judgment here. Meanwhile, Nazi hunter Abraham Weiss (Marc Lawrence) sees the SS officer who machinegunned a bunch of babe Jew violinists...don't ask...but massacre scenes are always appreciated. Problem is, this Nazi, named Olivier (Robert Bristol) has not aged a day in decades.  Because of this Detective Sterne (Cameron Mitchell) does not believe Abraham. Olivier will turn into a demon and eat Abraham's face. What does Claire have to do with this? She has visions of this massacre and of demons coming for her. Enter a defrocked monk called Papini (Maurice Grandmaison). He will try to warn Claire that Olivier is Satan and she needs to kill him. Oh yeah, all of Olivier's victims have developed a 666 tattoo at death.

Okay...let's talk about Ann.  Ann is the real babe in this film. She will be violated and dumped, then enslaved by Olivier.  In fact, her performance is so trying, two actresses will play her (Elizabeth Martin and Christie Starley). Anyway...are you keeping up? Sterne turns into a believer when he confronts Olivier at his mansion.  Olivier seems unstoppable as he murders anyone who gets in his way. Now he wants Claire. I don't know why, Ann is a more impressive babe and Claire's voice would cause anyone to gag her during the throes of passion. There I go again, being judgmental. Oh...that's enough...this is a wild one. I should say the ending is absolutely amazing!  Think of Dr. Giggles meets Lancaster Merrin! Don't tell me you are not intrigued.

Will James find out the hard way that if Satan is not dead, then either is God? Will Claire hire a voice coach and stop being shown-up by Ann and her slinky evening disco gowns? Will this film offend the atheist community?  This one is quite unbelievable...you won't believe the ending...though you should believe in God (author's note). Faithful to the book, "Cataclysm" is a film you need to see. 

  

Scream of the Wolf, Bring Back Nurse Price!

Nurse Price (Jenny Agutter)! Beautiful nurse-in-white in great peril as her new American BF is a werewolf. Alas, the sultry nurse, who gives us a nice shower scene and cares for the titular character in 1981's "An American Werewolf in London" is not in our film today. So sad. Even sadder, nurses today are stocky and have shed the alluring white uniforms for baggy green scrubs. You know who is in this film? You'll never guess!  Rula Lenska!  Okay, not much of a trade-off, I admit. Today we look at a 2022 film that pays homage to that 1981 werewolf film. Our feature today is "Scream of the Wolf" (aka "Wolf Manor"), directed by Dominic Brunt. Have you noticed that nurse's today, unlike the sweet and comely Nurse Price, are all grouchy and demanding that you give them respect. You try demanding respect, see how far it gets you!

Okay, a vampire film starring Oliver Lawrence (James Fleet) is being shot at the mansion of The Great Mascalini (Shuane Harrison). The Great Mascalini? A magician who went missing 20 years ago while touring the Carpathian Mountains. The Blue Moon will sub for The Slaughtered Lamb as two film executives ask directions. The locals want no part of them and send them away, on foot. They'll be eaten by a werewolf. At the mansion, the past-his-prime Oliver dons a vampire's cape and fangs and tries to get through his lines. Oliver is battling the bottle and losing. Fiona (Thaila Zucchi) tries to keep him focused but a werewolf outside is shredding crew. First the boom-lady (Sade Malone) and the f/x guy (Martin Portlock) get ripped from limb to limb...and eaten. Then the werewolf gets bolder and comes right up to the manor house.

Desperately trying to sober up Oliver, Fiona and the crew don't notice that two of their buddies are missing. Oliver has that double nightmare dream about being in a bed in the woods and then opening up a cabinet (instead of curtains). You remember that one. In the 1981 film it looked as if Nurse Price was shredded until David Naughton woke up screaming. The kills will be gory. Limbs will fly. Guts will be ripped out. Heads will be knocked off the old block. Oh!  Rula Lenska?  The Great Mascalini?  Let's just say do not turn this film off as the end credits roll.

Will vampire actor Oliver have a shot at squaring off against a real monster? What happened to the missing magician all those years ago in the Carpathian Mountains? Will nurses ever be pretty again...and be clad in either tight or latex white uniforms? Fans of the 1981 classic John Landis film will notice a lot of references to it.  For a gory werewolf film with classic werewolf themes, see "Scream of the Wolf." 

The Cellar Door, Serial Killer Shreds Babes

Okay, I know we're not supposed to cheer for the serial killer.  I'm not saying I was.  Well, maybe I was. He seemed like such a decent guy. His victims?  Is it my fault that in the film today the young babes felled by this lunatic (or misunderstood loner) were not women of stellar character?  In the style of Giallo or Euro-Trash, our movie today is a bit rough on the fairer sex. Today we look at 2007's "The Cellar Door," directed by Matt Zettell.

Brutal!  Without humor!  No twists!  No surprises!  Just unparalleled viciousness.  The opening scene is heartbreaking...you'll see.  Herman (James Dunont) is a mommy's boy.  Presumably, his mom is deceased . Presumably she taught him that all babes were Satan's tools, or whores.  Still, Herman is fascinated by them. So fascinated that he likes to capture them and keep them in his cellar in a cage he constructed. Unfortunately for Rudy (Michelle Tomlinson) and her roomie Christa (Heather Sconyers), they capture his attention. These are party girls. They party hard and drink a lot. Herman is no nonsense. As Christa falls asleep on the toilet, Herman rushes in and absconds with the passed out Rudy.  Rudy is scantily clad and not too surprised she has ended up in a cage. Go figure.

Okay, Herman does not really have a plan. Rudy does. Yell a little and try to seduce her way out of captivity. Uh oh...we see Rudy's last captive (Christine Reynolds).  This is weird...we see her as a maggot infested corpse who seems to appear to warn Rudy...as if Rudy is having trouble grasping the dire nature of her situation. Rudy, is a babe, and her seduction techniques seem to develop traction. Uh oh!  Herman is not satisfied with just keeping a pet.  His maniacal tendencies will victimize other babes in this film who won't be as fortunate as Rudy. The misogyny of Herman, sadly, will fell other babes as Rudy continues to plot escape.

Will Rudy be able to escape and/or murder Herman? How many of your neighbors have cages in their basements filled with nubile party-gals?  Is anti-male wokeness breeding Hermans in our country? This is a brutal one with a good level of gore. For a gritty film in which nubile babes are victimized by the misogyny prevalent in today's western civilization, see "The Cellar Door."