A sultry bride, beautiful bridesmaids, and worthless groomsmen and groom versus a croc! Even better... this takes place in Hampshire in England. Even better, Chrissie Wunna (one of this blog's favorite actresses) is one of the bridesmaids. Her false eyelashes and cleavage will prove a worthy opponent for the misplaced reptile. In, what I believe is Miss Wunna's finest film, the death count will be astronomical, gore will be terrific, and cheese factor maximized. Our feature today is 2022's "Croc!" Directed by Paul W. Franklin, this is a film made by Jagged Edge Productions.
Dylan (Mark Haldor) a middle-aged hunk and father of the bride arrives to scout out a country estate where his daughter will be married. Lame chore for a real man, he takes the occasion to bang the snot out of the wedding coordinator. I mean, he gives it to her. Her screams will be guttural and he will give her punishment that her nymphomaniac side will crave and remember forever. Anyway, this scene has little to do with the film but is appreciated. Okay, don't ask why, a 25-foot croc eats two campers in the pond by the estate. Lisa (Sian Altman) and her bridesmaids arrive the day before the wedding. Vanessa (Wunna) is her best looking bridesmaid, and is Lisa's boss. Amy (Antonia Whillans) is also a babe, is Lisa's bestie. Others will be there but they'll be eaten quickly...like Georgie (Beatrice Fletcher).
Beatrice? Babe. Her and the groom to be Charlie (George Nettleton) sneak away for pre-marital sex. These two betrayers of Lisa will get a morality check when Beatrice is eaten and Charlie runs away with a secret he can never tell. Now the day of the wedding, Dylan goes to look for Beatrice and finds the croc instead. The croc almost gets Dylan, who has managed to start a nice fling with Vanessa, but heads to the wedding instead. The big reptile will eat bridesmaids, the grooms parents, and chase all the others to the big manor house or pool house, There, it will work on trying to outsmart the humans which will not be hard, at least for the groomsmen and groom. The ladies and Dylan begin planning an assault on the reptile. Vanessa and Dylan grow closer. Lisa seems perpetually annoyed at Charlie even though she does not yet know of his betrayal. Amy, the nubile blonde, well, she looks good. All the babes will go to war against the creature clad in a bridal gown or nice bridesmaid attire.
Will Charlie, the two-timing groom get eaten by the croc? Will the croc get all the bridesmaids? Will Vanessa and Dylan end up being the bride and groom before the movie ends...or will they get eaten? With a great kill count and a large cheese factor, this is a must see film. Chrissie Wunna will captivate you guys and you may miss the croc because of her eyelashes and cleavage. See "Croc!"