Vampires on Christmas! Bank Robbers on Christmas! Here's a nice Christmas present...the vampires are babes! One of them is even named Selene (Sienna Star) and she wears leather! Terrific homage to "Underworld." Okay, so nothing new here...sure. Then again do we always want something new. Change can be catastrophic, just reflect back to Barack Obama...eek! Tropes and predictability will not ruin this witty and satisfying vampire tale. Today we look at 2024's "Silent Bite," directed by Taylor Martin.
Four bank robbers, three dressed as Santa and one as an elf, get away with a million dollars. On the run, they hole up in a seemingly empty hotel and resort. Father Christmas (Simon Phillips) leads the band which also includes Grinch (Nick Biskupek), Snowman (Michael Swatton), and our elf, the nerdy Prancer (Luke Avoledo). Prancer is there for computer technology. Uh oh...in another part of the hotel is the blonde babe Genie (Camille Blott). Selene has her tied up and bites her, changing her into a vampire. Mother (Sayla de Goede) is upset that Selene jumped the gun. Two other vamps are also there, Victoria (Kelly Schwartz) and Lucia (Louisa Capulet). All babes! Mother informs the other vamps that the bank robbers are fair game...feel free to have sex with, bite, and drain the blood of the bank robbers.
Mother is not worried...vampires cannot be killed. We all know this is not true, but do these robbers have any idea how to kill them? Wait, Prancer, finds Genie all tied up. Genie tells him of the vampires and that she herself is turning into one. She begs Prancer to kill her...then Lucia attacks. Uh oh...seems there is a way to kill vamps and Prancer may be onto what that is. Prancer and Genie fall in love. Father Christmas plots to get his men to safety and far away from the hotel and the vamps. Mother sets her sights on total destruction of the humans. The other vamps will frolic, flirt, and...you'll see.
Will Prancer kill Genie before she turns or will Genie kill Prancer? Will mother be able to save her daughter vamps from the unpredictable bank robbers? Are Rudolph ands Scrooge in this one, too? Fun and quirky...with a nice cheese factor, see "Silent Bite."
