Sunday, December 20, 2020

Empire of the Apes, Space-Babes in much Peril

After enduring the tiresome whining of the #MeToo movement, I bring you the best film ever to have chronicled the misogyny in western civilization. Through metaphor, 2013's "Empire of the Apes" (directed by Mark Polonia) paints a grim picture of the fate of women as our future speeds nearer to us. Biting commentary and sultry space-babes give us a film that we want to see, rather than one that is force fed to us. Of course, sultry space-babes in much peril make it so easy to ignore any social message in favor of alluring cheesecake.

Three space-babes are prisoners aboard a spaceship. Dane (Danielle Donahue), Jada (Marie DeLorenzo), and Theel (Elizabeth V. Costanzo) are being brought to a grotesque alien planet to be sex slaves of monsters. Yep, Harvey Weinstein's Hollywood is a good comparison. Captain Zantor (Steve Diasparra) seeks to make a lot of money upon delivery. The women rebel and use a phony catfight as the catalyst for their escape. They steal a shuttle and crash land on a nearby planet. Soon, the trio is captured by ugly apes who rule the planet. Baal (James Carolus) is an evil ape who seeks to win favor with their ruler, Korg (Ken Van Sant). Korg seeks a ship to escape the dying planet and wishes the three females to help propagate their species. The gals are sickened by this suggestion.

Now imprisoned, the gals wait to be auctioned off. Korg has mandated that the ape-games (hand to hand combat) will decide which apes get a woman to mate with. Trask (Jeff Kirkendall) emerges as a good ape who seeks to help the trio escape. Uh oh, Zantor shuttles down to the planet to recapture the escapees. He and Korg will form an allegiance which, if successful, will be horrific for the space-babes. Either way, monsters are set to mate with these lovelies. Now the women, with Trask's help, escape, but their options are limited. The apes and Zantor are hot on their trail and simian hormones are going through the roof.

Warning, the ending is terrifying, especially if you are a woman. Young actresses in Hollywood will be able to relate. Do the gals have any hope for escaping a fate of monster rape? Should the sultry space-babes be more open-minded and give ape love a chance? The Polonia Brothers have done it again...they made a film we will love. Ignore the Hollywood idiocy about women being suppressed in a man's world and enjoy biting reality and enjoy a plot about apes who desire sex with space-babes. "Empire of the Apes," see it and ignore any of #MeToo's exploitation of the women they purport to help.

1 comment:

  1. Lovely flash back of the idiocy we had to endure on Twitter lately,i blame it on hash tags.Despite what people really think, monkeys are tribal, violent and rapacious, they'll hump anything.