Friday, May 29, 2015

Zombeavers, Bikini Babes Versus Nature

When three bikini clad babes meet a hunter, they tell him, "We're looking for beavers." The hunter replies, "Who isn't?"  Today we look at 2014's "Zombeavers." A film that demanded to be made, and now that it has....the universe is right again.  Billed by some as a comedy, in reality this movie is a horror story which has us laughing, at times, because of the wit of the three actresses who star in it, Rachel Melvin, Lexi Atkins, and Cortney Palm.  Clad in revealing bikinis, these actresses portray sorority sisters who meet up with nightmarish forces of nature.  Gore, nudity, creatures, and lots of pre-marital sex await our three damsels.
Mary (Melvin), Jenn (Atkins), and Zoe (Palm) plan an all-girls getaway at a remote cabin by the lake. Unfortunately, a barrel of toxic waste has rolled into the water, contaminating a beaver lair.  The beavers mutate into toothy zombeavers.  As the gals immediately don bikinis, they head to the lake for swimming.  Of course, Zoe sheds her top as they explore a beaver dam.  Oh yes, Jenn is still upset that she caught her BF Sam (Hutch Dano) cheating.  Wouldn't you know it, Sam and his two hunk friends, Tommy (Jake Weary) and Buck (Peter Gilroy) crash the private getaway.  This leads to lots of sexual intercourse and pot smoking.  Then the beavers attack.  They are toothy and hungry.  The vermin will do away with all the neighbors and will first attack our sextet in the lake.  Trapped on a raft, the boys throw the dog overboard to be eaten by the fiends as they make it to apparent safety back at the cabin.
Now trapped in the cabin, the zombeavers surround the place.  The bickering sextet must put their differences aside in order to survive.  With the help of a witty hunter, Smyth (Rex Linn), they engage in an all out war with the toxic-waste infested things. The monsters get in and attack. Once bitten, the attractive young people, one by one, turn into half-beaver/half-human psychos.  In one unfortunate and painful scene, one of the girls bites her BF's tally-whacker off after becoming infected.  The mutated beavers appear unstoppable, as even after being killed, they keep coming.
Skinny-dipping, pot smoking, and pre-marital sex are sure to doom any character in these types of movies, but will any of our lovelies survive?  Are the zombeavers a mere metaphor for middle America's non tolerance for free-love and skinny-dipping?  The acting is superb, and our trio of actresses, not only look good, but engage in some great dialogue (..which may have been ad libbed). The last half of the film is wild, and pushes the envelope with gore and human-beaver imagery.  Available on Netflix, see Zombeavers instead of wasting ten bucks for the disaster that is "Tomorrowland."


  1. Love this movie and your review is spot-on. It will feature in an upcoming Z-List but I will be going easy on it as it is massively enjoyable and impossible not to love. Bring on the Zombeavers.

  2. Haven't seen the movie, but after this excellently crafted review, it now rests atop our 'Horror Must See' list.
    What's not to love about Zombeavers gnawing on hot chicks in bikinis. I do regret to hear that they sacrificed the dog to survive when they could have tossed the cheating boyfriend in almost as easily, I'd think.
    Marvelous review!